Followers who say 'good' in lessons

[tacad]

This is confusing. I think I'm just going to say thank you from now on.

 

[danceguy]

I wanted to add that I do see huey's point here...I've met a few followers who can be very unkind in their responses and I've been in those exact same shoes many times. For myself, positive, constructive feedback is always welcome, but there are some people who are not aware of how to provide this effectively. :?

It is nice when someone gives you a heartfelt compliment, but if they are just buttering you up or really don't mean it (and especially if you are on to their ruse) this certainly can make you upset. I always end the dance/rotation with a warm "thank you", even if it didn't go so well, and I don't consider this patronizing. I think of it as a date - if the person and I just don't click, and/or we both want to run screaming etc etc, I always thank them for their time.

I don't see any reason to say "hey I just loved how you stomped on my foot, and your noodle arms have given me a wonderful backache" unless asked, I'm not giving out any grades or sticker stars! :roll:

Hopefully, dance is allowing men and women to communicate more effectively...although sometimes I wonder... :eyebrow: :lol:

SG

 

[etchuck]

So I guess a compliment I got this weekend:

During the midst of a Viennese waltz with this person who I guess "going out with" applies, she was doing well and enjoying it until she spiked her foot with her other heel. Went tumbling to the ground, and as much as I could to break her fall, she still landed on the floor.

Her compliment to me was that she was so impressed that I didn't crash on top of her.

Same person who apparently keeps telling a lot of other people how well she felt when we did dance VW the time before when she didn't fall over. Hmm...

 

[MacMoto]

I agree with you Huey that "good" sounds patronising.

There are leaders who say "good" when social dancing :evil:. I REALLY hate it even though I know they don't mean to be patronising. Strangely, it's always the leaders who are not that great who do this...

 

[Pacion]

I agree with you Huey that "good" sounds patronising.

I suppose that in certain situations it can do. But for me, it depends on the context. If it was a dance that I enjoyed, the person I danced with is not a native english speaker than "good", whilst a bit abrupt is nice :wink:

 

[pygmalion]

... a lady makes a positive comment when she like what the guy is doing, to give him some encouragement and show appreciation for his hard work, and you want to tell her to piss off? Remind me to never say anthing nice to a male dancer again!

Er - the point about the (thankfully few) women who do this is that they almost always give a comment either 'you're doing that wrong' or 'I need more of this' or alternatively 'good' or 'well done'. I find the attitude very patronising.

I feel that, for them, the reason they dance with me in a lesson is to judge my dancing and comment on it. I also feel this when I dance with them socially - which is why I avoid these (again, FEW) people :evil:

Yes. I think a lot is in the tone of voice, too. I mean, you are paying your teacher to critique you, right? And many of them (the good ones, anyway) will let an occasional move go without comment. "Good" would feel patronising to me, too, especially coming from a fellow student. Like, who died and gave you permission to critique me?

Of course, I can get pretty prickly at times. :lol:

 

[Sagitta]

Right on MacMoto and Pyg. It's not what you say, but how you say. I've said and done some pretty outrageous things and they went over well, but there are other times when I say/do something I consider innocuos and get jumped on!!

 

[dTas]

i prefer "WOW!" to "good".

"good" does sound condesending though. a comment that only the instructor of the class should be making.

even if you are an instructor, if you're not THE instructor of the class you should behave just like any other student (especially if you are an instructor, aka: you know better) unless it is explicitly pointed out that you are there to help, otherwise just blend in as a student.

"good" makes it sound like there's some measure that you're supposed to live up to. dance is hard enough without expectations to have to live up to.

 

[pygmalion]

Yes. Wow sounds better to me, too. 8)

 

[Vin]

I agree "wow" definitely rocks. On occasion I still attend beginner classes and rather than say "good", which I always found condescending as well as well(especially now that I consider myself more than a beginner).
If the beginner follow asks or questions whether we got it I will say "it seems alright to me", if it is someone that has been having trouble I will sometimes say, without prompting, "I think we got it". I think both are better than "good", but not nearly as good as "wow". I save "wow" for the social dance floor.

 

[huey]

I think "good" is patronizing also.

... Basically, a partner is on firm ground giving his or her opinion (expressing how they feel about a move) but not offering right or wrong judgements. ...

Consider:

"You aren't supposed to move your arm in that way in this move," versus, "when you move your arm that way it really makes the move uncomfortable for me."

The first one says "I know more than you," the second says, "we need to fix something."

Hi jmatthew,

Thanks for the comment. Yes, that's exactly how I feel. If I want to dance with a judge, I'll go to a law school social :wink: