Height difference; avoid, open embrace, or some other strategy?

[Angel HI]

It's simply a matter of comfort ability for either or both. The Lead must be able to comfortably embrace the Follow in such a manner as to provide a suitable lead, and the Follow must be able to do the same re following. It is pointless to say that the techniques of both dancers should well enough to adapt. If not, perhaps it is better to decline the dance for the moment en lieu of a later practica (if possible) to see if the dance will be compatible enough for a milonga.

 

[newbie]

If you are a leader, what are your strategies for dancing with a shorter follower, or a taller one - or do you simply avoid dancing with shorter or taller followers?

I avoid the shorter ones. I don't mind the taller ones, but if there is a tall guy available then I will not invite.

 

[Juniper Ivy]

I am short and I do prefer dancing with men who are closer to my height. If the man is more than a foot taller than me I find it awkward. I wouldn't turn down a dance for this reason though. I do find that certain moves work better when there is a height match. And close embrace works better also.

My regular dance partner is about a foot taller than me and he complains that dancing with shorter follows causes his back to hurt because he bends over. Does anyone else have that problem?

He has asked me to wear the highest heels I can find to help balance our height difference. Has anyone else tried this?

 

[tangomaniac]

.

My regular dance partner is about a foot taller than me and he complains that dancing with shorter follows causes his back to hurt because he bends over. Does anyone else have that problem?

He's NOT supposed to bend over. He should lower his frame so that his arms are at YOUR shoulder level.

 

[dchester]

I am short and I do prefer dancing with men who are closer to my height. If the man is more than a foot taller than me I find it awkward. I wouldn't turn down a dance for this reason though. I do find that certain moves work better when there is a height match. And close embrace works better also.

My regular dance partner is about a foot taller than me and he complains that dancing with shorter follows causes his back to hurt because he bends over. Does anyone else have that problem?

He has asked me to wear the highest heels I can find to help balance our height difference. Has anyone else tried this?

As a taller guy, I will bend over if she is in range to make it work. However, if the difference is too great, then I will abandon trying to bend over at all, and simply lower my arms, and embrace where ever we line up. A couple times, the difference was so great, that we also exchanged the positioning on my right arm and her left arm (my right arm was above her left arm).

 

[dchester]

He's NOT supposed to bend over. He should lower his frame so that his arms are at YOUR shoulder level.

How do you lower your frame, then? Do you bend your knees instead?

 

[pascal]

He's NOT supposed to bend over. He should lower his frame so that his arms are at YOUR shoulder level.

I read this too, in some tango blog quoting a social female dancer from BsAs. "Don't bend, you make me look smaller than I already am" or something like that. You lower your hands.

 

[tangomaniac]

How do you lower your frame, then? Do you bend your knees instead?

Lower your arms, NOT your torso. The knees should always be bent but you don't have to bend them more than usual.

It's always easier for a man to lower her arms than for a woman to raise her arms.

 

[dchester]

Lower your arms, NOT your torso. The knees should always be bent but you don't have to bend them more than usual.

It's always easier for a man to lower her arms than for a woman to raise her arms.

OK, we have different definitions for what the frame is, (I include the chest as part of the frame). Lowering the arms, I agree with.

 

[Tango Distance]

How about recruiting women from women's basketball and volleyball teams to help deal with the height issue!

Joking aside, it seems to me women in Tango tend to not be tall and tend to be thin, in contrast to what I have seen in Blues, Contra, and Salsa, where you see a number of tall and less thin women. Maybe it is the statistics of small numbers, or maybe it is something about Tango?

 

[Juniper Ivy]

How about recruiting women from women's basketball and volleyball teams to help deal with the height issue!

Joking aside, it seems to me women in Tango tend to not be tall and tend to be thin, in contrast to what I have seen in Blues, Contra, and Salsa, where you see a number of tall and less thin women. Maybe it is the statistics of small numbers, or maybe it is something about Tango?

In my area salsa dancers tend to be shorter than tango dancers. I dance salsa too and my height is never an issue over there. But in tango I often wish I were taller.

 

[WildE]

Only 2 gents and 1 male instructor asked me to dance all evening NYE. Yes I am 6'4" in flats, size 14/16 and a novice dancer yet I am not an odd footed, obese ogre. Left an hour before Cinderella strike of 12 and cried all the way home. I expected more gracious invites to dance at a large, studio dance. Being avoided and having ladies all around you get dances is a very painful experience. Felt like high school all over again.

 

[RiseNFall]

There are many, many issues that contribute to not getting asked to dance much, particularly when people don't know you. I'm guessing that it was not dedicated to Argentine Tango, so this might not be the correct thread to discuss it in, but, yeah, feels like middle school. I just ask the guys to dance. Usually fine at a studio party, probably wouldn't be at an AT event. Particularly as a beginner don't ask the same guy repeatedly. You'll find many discussions of this in other threads, though off hand I don't remember the titles of them. Most guys appreciate being asked and I cross my the ones who clearly do not off my list.

 

[Lilly_of_the_valley]

Only 2 gents and 1 male instructor asked me to dance all evening NYE. Yes I am 6'4" in flats, size 14/16 and a novice dancer yet I am not an odd footed, obese ogre. Left an hour before Cinderella strike of 12 and cried all the way home. I expected more gracious invites to dance at a large, studio dance. Being avoided and having ladies all around you get dances is a very painful experience. Felt like high school all over again.

Why did you cry? OK, let's see, I am a petite size 4-6, have been dancing for years, and 3 tandas is an average I get in local milongas. Sometimes I get more, maybe, like 5. Sometimes it is just one.
Never mind how many, it is always, always with someone I want and love to dance with, and I feel that I danced my best and gave it all. And it makes me very happy. It is not about quantity to me anymore.
How many tandas would have made you happy?

 

[rain_dog]

Why did you cry? OK, let's see, I am a petite size 4-6, have been dancing for years, and 3 tandas is an average I get in local milongas. Sometimes I get more, maybe, like 5. Sometimes it is just one.
Never mind how many, it is always, always with someone I want and love to dance with, and I feel that I danced my best and gave it all. And it makes me very happy. It is not about quantity to me anymore.
How many tandas would have made you happy?

Oh come on, that's not the same situation at all, and you know it.

You're an established dancer in your community who has fostered dance relationships with the partners you most enjoy dancing with. You've already rejected and weeded out the unmusical and maloderous, the grippers and grabbers, the clumsy and the boring. I'm sure if you wanted to, you could lower your standards and dance a lot more. You've made your choice (and btw, I'm not saying you are wrong at all for choosing as you do), but it is a *choice*.

WildE, being a novice dancer and new to her community, does not have the luxury of being so choosy. (And I suspect she was at a ballroom social, so her 3 dances is the equivalent of 1 tanda). So how about a little empathy for someone starting out and feeling a little awkward and out of place?