Holding hands/linking arms

Pacion

Pacion

New Member
I was speaking with a non-dancing friend recently. His perception - linking arms/holding hands is an intimate gesture and something that is not often done between platonic friends. I link arms with various friends and obviously, people I am dancing with/guys who are taking me onto the dancefloor, hold my hand. (I forgot to remind him that dancing is something I am, not something I do. :D) So for me, I am (I think) a bit more relaxed in my perception of such a gesture could indicate.

What does linking arms/holding hands suggest to you, if you saw a couple you didn't know; or even if you knew them, but not necessarily as being a couple?
 
For me personally, i share the perception of your dancing friend that linking arms/holding hands is not something i do with platonic friends - dancing is an exception, of course.
 
Context is everything.

If the same dance friends who take my hand casually to escort me onto the dance floor were to take my hand casually walking down the street, it would be much more intimate.
 
It's so funny that we live in a culture where girls can go around showing their underwear and butt-cracks (I'm talking about those super low-rise jeans over thong underwear) but if two people link arms we assume something beyond a platonic friendship is going on.
 
Some of the best purely freinds friendships (ok, which spelling?) Ive had have been with guys I am comfortable hugging, cuddling, linking arms, holding hands etc. I love physical contact with big strong (or even small weak!) guys! So yummy and secure!
I think, in terms of two people walking down the street, holding hands, I think you can ussually tell by the level of playfullness etc. If they are dating etc. I deffinitly dont immediatly assume anything, but if they are friends I might get curious. Speccially if they look... more "lovey dovey" than playful.
That having been said, there is a line, and things start getting really uncomfortable when that line is crossed. For me, when a guy crosses the line (which would be constant or too affectionate touching for me with a friend. To the point that all my friends start speculating if we are really just friends)
When someone crosses the line, the line gets moved way back with them. Meaning, for awhile, no more friendly holding hands etc.
(btw, I tell people when they cross the line, both verbally and with body language, as I hope people would do with me. Im not psychic, how else would I know???)
 
skwiggy said:
Context is everything.

If the same dance friends who take my hand casually to escort me onto the dance floor were to take my hand casually walking down the street, it would be much more intimate.
Click to expand...
hmmm...could be so...
 
On the dancefloor, I never interpret anything as having romantic context because, well, it's dancing. Body contact. And all that. Y'know. :p
Outside my dance world, I have very few male friends. I'm talking very few. One of them is my very best friend in general, so he could take me in his arms and spin me around and it wouldn't be romantically insinuative. Another one I can think of off the top of my head is generally a tender person, but I would be surprised if he took my hand or linked his arm with mine, because we were never that close so as to hold hands and stuff. It depends on the level of intimnacy you have with someone and sometimes whether it's in his character/general behaviour to do such things. I used to know a guy who was all huggy-huggy, kissy-kissy with all his female friends and yet he didn't mean a thing by it. It was just the way he expressed himself.
So short answer? It totally depends. :D

Twilight Elena
 
I link arms with my guy buddies all the time. On occasion, with my girl-buddies, too! The latter totally acceptable in Asia, althought the former gets rumors circulating in my town, but us foreigners don't care what strange ideas people may get, and we're buddies, so we don't care.
 
Again, context is everything. If I'm cold, for example, then I may be linking arms with my friend to keep warm.

And for some reason I think walking down the street with arms linked is less significant than walking down the street holding hands. I'm not entirely sure why. Does anyone else feel that way?
 
Normally you would assume that they're a couple (in the street, public places, etc.)
It's very usual here that same sex friends would link arms, even men, and it would be understood as friendly.
In the dance scene or amongst a certain category of the society, it could also be considered as a friendly gesture and not necessarily a couple. So it really depends.
 
Remember, non dancing people feel threatened by ANY gesture of intimacy - this forum is full of posts saying (essentially) 'my hubby (sic) doesn't want me to go dance with anyone else for fear of touching...'

This is possibly a US thing? Or is this everywhere?

I say drive 'em crazy - even look people right straight in the eyes! (that will make insecure nondancers go wild)...
 
Laura said:
It's so funny that we live in a culture where girls can go around showing their underwear and butt-cracks (I'm talking about those super low-rise jeans over thong underwear) but if two people link arms we assume something beyond a platonic friendship is going on.
Click to expand...
What I find even funnier is that if men look at said underwear and butt-crack they often are looked at as if they were perverts!:shock: Well lady, you put that outfit on, didn't you think they were going to look? :roll:

Anyway, hand holding and arm locking is a sign of affection that you don't do with just anyone. You have to look at other clues to differentiate platonic or not...

Something I also notice is that some people (women) see this hand/arm thing as totally platonic :friend: and sometimes are naive and can't realize the other person is getting the wrong idea. So, they may be leading them on unknowingly... :-(
 
skwiggy said:
Again, context is everything. If I'm cold, for example, then I may be linking arms with my friend to keep warm.

And for some reason I think walking down the street with arms linked is less significant than walking down the street holding hands. I'm not entirely sure why. Does anyone else feel that way?
Click to expand...

I think maybe because that the arms linked was a traditional method of escorting a lady, any lady particularly down busy streets. Holding hands was and is a more traditional form of expressing affection.
 
itorres said:
Something I also notice is that some people (women) see this hand/arm thing as totally platonic :friend: and sometimes are naive...
Click to expand...

Okay, looks like I may be one of those "naive" women. Where do I sign :lol:

For me, I think that where there is mutual affection and as someone else mentioned, trust, then linking arms and possibly holding hands is a natural thing, especially where the two people are naturally touchers/huggers.

I wonder if animals have this sort of diliema? :lol:
 
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