Very sorry for your loss. 
How Are Your Lessons Going? Thread 3
- Thread starter ProgressNotPerfection
- Start date
Reach
Well-Known Member
Am so very sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences.
Good luck at your competition.
ProgressNotPerfection
Forum Master
Oh, Tracy…that is very sad news. Please accept my sincere condolences.
Lessons today were for the Nerds! First hour was with Pro2. I pulled out my newly-purchased Hearn book on Advanced Standard Figures and started in with questions. First up was the Pepperpot in Quickstep and just how close the feet are supposed to get on the 4th step. In the general description it says that the figure is sometimes described from the Step Hop as a Chasse-Lock. So, I’ve assumed that if it’s a Chasse, I need to close my feet – and I usually find it difficult to do and it gets wobbly to fit into the timing. Well, in Hearn’s chart, for Lead it says “RF moves towards LF”, and the Note says that it’s a smaller step so it “does not actually cross”, and gives an explanation that a full cross would blur the rhythm of the figure. So, Pro2 and I dug into and tested out “how small is small” and can it still be called a Chasse if closing of the feet isn’t required, and at what point might it be the same thing as a “partial” cross…and all kinds of nerdy things. In any event, the happy outcome is that, as I now know that I don’t have to fully close my feet on the 4th step, I can dance the figure much more easily.
Then I asked about the Woodpecker. Great fun! Once I figured out how to take the initial “spring” into the step, it went pretty well, and we played around with some Slow and Quick rhythms. Pro1 was giving a lesson to another student at the same time, and at one point saw me standing in the middle of the floor on one leg looking perplexed, and commented: “Oh, look at Cal. What she is doing now is known as the Standing Crane.”
Then, I had one question about the back half of the Reverse Turn in VWaltz, and Pro2 clarified that.
The second hour was with Pro1, and continued with fine points and clarifications and nerdy stuff with reverse turns and reverse movement/actions from the Follow’s perspective. And some of that information, along with the Hearn chart of the Stop Lock to Lock Action and 4-6 Syncopated Basic Reverse Turn in Tango, might help me finally nail that sequence.
So, I left lessons just happy as a clam.
Then I asked about the Woodpecker. Great fun! Once I figured out how to take the initial “spring” into the step, it went pretty well, and we played around with some Slow and Quick rhythms. Pro1 was giving a lesson to another student at the same time, and at one point saw me standing in the middle of the floor on one leg looking perplexed, and commented: “Oh, look at Cal. What she is doing now is known as the Standing Crane.”
Then, I had one question about the back half of the Reverse Turn in VWaltz, and Pro2 clarified that.
The second hour was with Pro1, and continued with fine points and clarifications and nerdy stuff with reverse turns and reverse movement/actions from the Follow’s perspective. And some of that information, along with the Hearn chart of the Stop Lock to Lock Action and 4-6 Syncopated Basic Reverse Turn in Tango, might help me finally nail that sequence.
So, I left lessons just happy as a clam.
Happyhorsie
Well-Known Member
Cha walks apparently look improved; I just need to make everything more. Especially the ab contraction in the pendula. Also need to turn out foot on the cha step a bit more. Did some Jive today. Need to create a better leg line on the rock step. Went over some basic patterns; I need to have better angles. American spin is not as spinny as I thought. Start with bent leg and straighten to spin, then bend when stopped. Chest forward as per usual.
ProgressNotPerfection
Forum Master
Had an interesting revelation last week. Pro mentioned at the beginning of Thursday’s lesson that the Smooth Fun Friday is only two weeks away. During the entire lesson, I felt tense, under pressure, easily-frustrated, impatient, anxious, and short-tempered. As a result, the lesson was neither productive nor fun.
The revelation, which probably should have been obvious to both of us but wasn’t, was that those two things were cause and effect.
We tried to dance several patterns in Viennese waltz, and it seemed like each one was worse than the last. Pro commented that the level of my dancing was way below where it had been just two days earlier, and he wondered why. It finally dawned on him (and then on me) that the mere thought of the upcoming public performance was messing with my head. After one particular pattern fell apart messily (for the nth time), he said reassuringly, “we don’t have to do that pattern at the Fun Friday. We can just stick with patterns you feel comfortable with.“
I replied, “then that means we’ll just do left and right turns, because that’s the only time I feel even remotely competent.“ Pro asked, “what about the flairs? What about the shadow right turns?“ I scoffed and said, “didn’t you see what happened just now when we tried to dance those? They were unbelievably sloppy!“
Pro said, “but remember, this is just a Fun Friday. No judges. There’s nothing riding on it. I mean, what’s the worst that will happen? Are you afraid you’ll miss a few of my leads or something?” I answered him very seriously, placing both my hands on his shoulders. “No. The worst that will happen is that my confidence will be shot just like it was last April, and will crawl back under the bed to hide for another six months, and we will lose all the progress we’ve been making recently.“
He understood immediately. Shaking his head, he said, “then forget about it. Don’t do it. I feel like we’re in a really good place of learning and understanding right now, and a Fun Friday is not worth interfering with that.”
As soon as he said that, I felt such immense relief that that I knew it was the right decision.
Part of me realizes that I am dangerously close to falling prey to the expression, “perfection is the enemy of the good.” Of course, the rational part of my brain understands that there is no such thing as “perfection” in pro/am ballroom dancing. Nonetheless, my gut insists that I am not yet ready to do anything in silver smooth other than learn.
So I will trust my gut and get back to enjoying lessons.
The revelation, which probably should have been obvious to both of us but wasn’t, was that those two things were cause and effect.
We tried to dance several patterns in Viennese waltz, and it seemed like each one was worse than the last. Pro commented that the level of my dancing was way below where it had been just two days earlier, and he wondered why. It finally dawned on him (and then on me) that the mere thought of the upcoming public performance was messing with my head. After one particular pattern fell apart messily (for the nth time), he said reassuringly, “we don’t have to do that pattern at the Fun Friday. We can just stick with patterns you feel comfortable with.“
I replied, “then that means we’ll just do left and right turns, because that’s the only time I feel even remotely competent.“ Pro asked, “what about the flairs? What about the shadow right turns?“ I scoffed and said, “didn’t you see what happened just now when we tried to dance those? They were unbelievably sloppy!“
Pro said, “but remember, this is just a Fun Friday. No judges. There’s nothing riding on it. I mean, what’s the worst that will happen? Are you afraid you’ll miss a few of my leads or something?” I answered him very seriously, placing both my hands on his shoulders. “No. The worst that will happen is that my confidence will be shot just like it was last April, and will crawl back under the bed to hide for another six months, and we will lose all the progress we’ve been making recently.“
He understood immediately. Shaking his head, he said, “then forget about it. Don’t do it. I feel like we’re in a really good place of learning and understanding right now, and a Fun Friday is not worth interfering with that.”
As soon as he said that, I felt such immense relief that that I knew it was the right decision.
Part of me realizes that I am dangerously close to falling prey to the expression, “perfection is the enemy of the good.” Of course, the rational part of my brain understands that there is no such thing as “perfection” in pro/am ballroom dancing. Nonetheless, my gut insists that I am not yet ready to do anything in silver smooth other than learn.
So I will trust my gut and get back to enjoying lessons.
Yes, do trust your gut. When I read the way you've been thinking about this, it doesn't strike me as perfectionism.
As a personal anecdote, 10-dance partner and I had similar feelings before our first competitions in Open last year. For better or worse, Coach and I took Pro's attitude of "whatever, just do what we can do and forget the results, what's the worst that could happen."
And we were wrong.
Partner may have agreed to it, but it was mostly just because of the pressure from Coach and me, and it was a huge confidence hit for her to experience struggling the way we did. The damage to her competitive psyche has taken pretty much a full year to repair.
I think you're doing the right thing for yourself. Listen to those instincts.
Warren J. Dew
Forum Master
Welcome to International style viennese waltz!
Or in any other kind of ballroom.
That said, I'm not sure how applicable the concept of "the good" is, either, except maybe with respect to social ballroom.
DoWrongRight
Well-Known Member
Ah I know these feelings. The internal pressure cooker of expectation.
I have had this conversation on a few occasions. Usually my part of the conversation is I am not comfortable with a particular dance. The last was my lack of confidence and comfort with Bolero and VW. Confidence can be easy to break and difficult to build.
It is WONDERFUL he had this understanding and didn't continue to "encourage" you into the event. Confidence and trust are both incredibly important in partner dancing. Losing either makes dancing incredibly difficult without regard to skill level. Of course the same can be said of any sport or skilled activity.
I don't know how much room there is for rational thinking in pro/am ballroom dancing. A lot of it is irrational. A lot of my feeling in this vein isn't being perfect, but being the best I can be at that time. If I cannot deliver to what I think is my best I would rather not be performing in a public sphere. Listening to yourself is important and then communicating it in a way to actually be heard is more helpful.
Misspendragon
Forum Master
You dance for fun, PnP. Do what makes you happy. If that means you only dance during lessons for months, for years, forever, so what? You will know when you want to do a comp or showcase, I promise you. That burning desire cannot be missed. And until then, don't waste your time and money and most of all, don't ruin a good thing when you have it; don't mess with your progress and newly gained self-confidence. And because you have a tendency to take on every challenge life throws in your way, ask your Pro to wait for your initiative to attend a comp or do a showcase.
Happy New Year
!
Misspendragon
Forum Master
This. People take to failure, or even the possibility of failure (the pressure to do well) differently. And it is vital for coaches to learn how a particular athlete responds to pressure. Some people actually thrive on it (become more focused and energized, or they get angry when they fail and turn that anger into focus and energy), others become paralyzed and lose focus, their self-confidence falls apart which makes peak performance impossible.
In other words: PnP is dancing for pleasure, therefore pushing her doesn't make sense to begin with. But on top of that, increasing pressure in her training would not yield to a better learning curve and/or performance, anyway.
I hope that this is a sign of things to come.