My reward for working hard is that I get to work even harder. It's uncomfortable and strangely addicting. Like I'm caught in a loop of perpetual growth that I don't want to stop.
Welcome. This says it all, Entheos.
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My reward for working hard is that I get to work even harder. It's uncomfortable and strangely addicting. Like I'm caught in a loop of perpetual growth that I don't want to stop.
The VW I had worked on before, but dropped before the comp because there was no way it was going to be ready. At the moment it's got an eminent train wreck feel to it,...
That's a rough talk. Have you got prospective partners?
Sorry to hear about this, hope things are a bit better now, and you can think your way into a happier place. I have wanted to compete for a long time too, but where I am, there is no chance of finding an AM partner, and not even any lessons (at any level) unless I want to travel for 4 hours, or fly, which I can't really afford on top of paying for a lesson at the moment. And with the teacher I do have, ProAm is not an option (he was openly horrified at the idea). I am learning to accept what I can't have, and channel the desperate wanting into other areas of my life. Over the last 8 winters, I have slowly been teaching my DH, and we are at the stage where he is confident to go out social dancing now and again (We had a few years of frozen shoulders and then I was sick for 18 months). But he loves practicing - we can go hard out and work on whatever we want to, and add a new dance or step when it suits us. The other day he was bouncing about and doing little skips of enjoyment, so I've started teaching him step hops. Sure, he's only about Bronze/Silver level, but is very athletic, so we can bounce around as much as we like, since there is never anyone else there. And while he doesn't do my routines yet (I was doing Gold Bar when I stopped having regular lessons) there is always stuff I can work on, and I still practice by myself a bit. So, I can't have a comp partner, but I have found a way to keep my dancing self very happy.Pro may finally get where my head is at, and how unhappy I am being just one of the pro-am gaggle ....the fact that am-am is where I want to be, but I don't think he ever realized that it was way more than an idle "oh, that'd be nice" wish...






Trying not to be peeved that for the first time in a long time, I was in the mood to really work... and pro called an end to my lesson 10-15 mins early, because his knee was hurting. (Must have been seriously painful for him to admit anything, because he does not like to show weakness. Me being irked is just indicative of my headspace right now, not really about him at all.)