I think I had an excellent teacher in this style, even though he never used the term "apilado". And, I took lessons from him for a year and a half. Your partner, too, though, has to have the same knowledge of what is possible, and how it works.
Bastet, too, has mentioned Steven Payne, so I'm not the only one here that knows him (although I probably have the "longevity" thing tied up).
You and your partner both will have to "disassociate your hips".
If she is doing the front ocho, she will pivot on the ball of her inside foot, mostly from the waist down, then "step across herself". The foot that crosses ends up relavitely close to the weighted foot. The torso itself moves very little. Then, of course, she brings weight onto the standing foot, and brings her hips parallel to the man's.
If you look at a couple in an apilado position, they typically have at least maybe 6" to 12" between their toes, plenty of room to move the foot across while keeping the "front inside edge" of the foot in contact with the floor.
Not saying it's easy, by any means, but it can be done. I think though, that good teachers in that style are fairly rare.
