Looking at cleavage

fascination said:
I have found some very average but nice men inadvertantly checking me out and had no problem with it...I have had some really hot guys who are known to be players with only one thing on their mind who I have had to send packing...that's fairly discriminating in my mind, just not on the basis of looks
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Is this were i remind the ladies that some of the most notorious serial killers were/are good looking men?
We have had this discussion on my belly dance forum and not all "creepy" looking guys are dangerous... You can NEVER judge a book by it's cover..
 
Kassia said:
Is this were i remind the ladies that some of the most notorious serial killers were/are good looking men?
We have had this discussion on my belly dance forum and not all "creepy" looking guys are dangerous... You can NEVER judge a book by it's cover..
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but you *can* judge by your intuition...
 
You can't change your initial reaction, and shouldn't, just because of those bad apples. Men will look at atttractive women, and a flirt is going to receive a better response if it comes with an attractive man to a woman.

Where the mind comes in and what makes us better than the animals is the choices we then make afterwards, whether to act on the biological reaction.

Hrmm, a little awkwardly put, but I think my meaning came through. ;)
 
Kassia said:
Is this were i remind the ladies that some of the most notorious serial killers were/are good looking men?
We have had this discussion on my belly dance forum and not all "creepy" looking guys are dangerous... You can NEVER judge a book by it's cover..
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first of all you misunderstand me completly...I do not at all equate being average or unattractive to being creepy...any guy can be creepy...that was my whole point
 
Kassia said:
I have to ponder this one...
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i've found, the more you listen to it, the more accurate it becomes. and so much is "visible" about someone which can be intuited. it's like, their energy can be full of red flags, warning whistles...or the equivalent of a comforting breeze...and anything in between. most people just don't pay attention to this level and trust their instincts.
 
agree...as a grief counselor, I learned over many years how to very quickly combine intuition, experience and skill in order to be pretty darn accurate in assessing people and about things setting off a yellow light for me in a fairly short span of time, b/c that is the nature of the work...even online, though it's harder
 
samina said:
huh...i just don't get the problem with men looking, leering or otherwise. wouldn't occur to me to be offended or send anyone packing for that. but must be a cultural/mediterranean thing...socially acceptable behaviour in the states differs from in greece, italy, and similar places.
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which is why non-med women might well freak out...

How about bottom pinching, is you's OK with that too??
 
elisedance said:
which is why non-med women might well freak out...

How about bottom pinching, is you's OK with that too??
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lol...well...understand, i've been surrounded by greeks & turks my whole up-bringing. they're not really into bottom-pinching, that's probly an italian thing? Gs tend to follow obsessively, leave notes, they'll rub up against you in the bus in athens...Ts tend to touch & cross all boundaries, but they are so chic & smooth about it...the smoothest men i've ever encountered.

okay...don't mean to be non-PC here...just sharing a bit of personal experience.:cool:
 
sounds pretty PC to me - if PC is the life of an average 14 yr old its PC and tame... :(

To add to your list, the English, well the english well.... actually you'd never know they were attracted to you except perhaps by the way they ignored you specially.

You know I'm dark enough to pass as a G, maybe I should just fake it...
 
elisedance said:
sounds pretty PC to me - if PC is the life of an average 14 yr old its PC and tame... :(

To add to your list, the English, well the english well.... actually you'd never know they were attracted to you except perhaps by the way they ignored you specially.

You know I'm dark enough to pass as a G, maybe I should just fake it...
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i've known a few englishmen or two...:cool:
kinky devils is my impression. i guess that comes from a massively repressed society...
 
fascination said:
when a dude moves from looking to leering to licking his lips to ignoring the wedding ring that I point out, to touching...I don't really care how hot he is...he will be sent packing...not sure that's cultural...some guys don't intend to stop at looking and if I send a go away signal, I expect it to picked up on... I am not exactly subtle ...but hey, to me there is a difference between a look and a leer...and it isn't about my culture and it isn't about how hot the guy is or isn't it is about how bold he is and where he clearly intends to go from there with it...as I stated in my post...men clearly known to be players
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Ah ha . . . you didn't say all of this . . . I'd knock the crap out of him for ya' . . . I actually did this for a woman who told me some guy wouldn't stop . . . I watched . . . waited . . . followed him into the men's room . . . bounced him off the wall. Ex-bouncer here . . .
 
Personally I doubt this will be discussed more in depth here. IMO women are worried about being labeled. IMO men are worried about being labeled. This leaves out an honest discussion of how we attract each other and what means we use. And we don't get past the 'appreciative glance' or 'don't show cleavage if you don't want to be looked at.' And it's on the internet. So I guess we're stuck.
 
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