Making a follow feel cherished

[pygmalion]

This is going to sound weird and unliberated, coming from me, but I had the greatest dance experience a couple days ago.

I danced NC2S with a lead who made me feel absolutely precious. He was actually a pretty light lead, but absolutely sure of himself. And he really made me know what it feels like to be the picture to his frame. It was a true pleasure to dance with him. I've only felt that way twice before -- once with a fellow student of mine, and once with a social dance teacher. I've danced with hundreds of guys (and a bunch of teachers) and can honestly say I've felt that way with only three people.

Oddly enough, I can't put a finger on what I felt.

Question to follows: Does what I'm saying click with you? Have you ever felt that way with a lead? What was different about it?

And for leads: What kinds of things do you do, if any, to make a follow feel good about dancing with you?

 

[youngsta]

:applause: Always great to hear about stories when dancers experience this. From a lead's point of view, here's what I do:

- Concentrate on her 100%. That includes her safety and eye contact with her.
- Craft the dance to feature her strengths. Can't do that with a complete stranger unless you've taken a song or two to watch her dance (hint, hint)
- Make her feel at ease. That can be anything from a few funny comments to loosen up a nervous follow, or just a simple smile.
- Lead her as if she's a priceless object (which she is btw!). No muscling, torquing, jerking...everything should be smooth.

 

[squirrel]

I've had such experiences myself!

Sometimes it just happens... I think it mostly has to do with connection (whatever that is!) and a light, yet "sure" lead... hate it when they treat me as a rag doll!

And it has to do with the pleasure the lead seems to experience... and the attention he provides... the "closeness" he chooses (the exact distance... not too big, 'cause I feel as if he either is too cold or too shy... but not too close either, for obvious reasons)...

PS and if he's cute too, mmmm.... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Sagitta]

When one has dance nirvana, or when one is in love and dances. Both work to achieve this.

 

[pygmalion]

It wasn't really transcendant, for me. It just felt like, for once, a truly balanced expression of what lead and follow is really supposed to be like. Wow!

 

[Sagitta]

It wasn't really transcendant, for me. It just felt like, for once, a truly balanced expression of what lead and follow is really supposed to be like. Wow!

Oh.

 

[pygmalion]

No. Not a disappointment at all. Actually, it feels just right. 8)

 

[tj]

This is going to sound weird and unliberated, coming from me,

(what an odd way to put it...)

And for leads: What kinds of things do you do, if any, to make a follow feel good about dancing with you?

Err... pay attention to her (and her likes/dislikes) and her safety.

 

[pygmalion]

This is going to sound weird and unliberated, coming from me,

(what an odd way to put it...)

There's a fine balance between interdependence and domination in the lead/follow world, IMO. And, also in my opinion, it's hard to find a lead who understands his role well enough to respect me in my role and make me feel ... beautiful (as a dancer) at the same time. But when you find it, it feels great! :banana:

 

[tj]

This is going to sound weird and unliberated, coming from me,

(what an odd way to put it...)

There's a fine balance between interdependence and domination in the lead/follow world, IMO. And, also in my opinion, it's hard to find a lead who understands his role well enough to respect me in my role and make me feel ... beautiful (as a dancer) at the same time. But when you find it, it feels great! :banana:

It feels like potentially a deep and meaningful point of discussion - but honestly, it's Thanksgiving weekend, and I'm feeling way too light hearted and flippant to want to discuss it myself.

But I respect your opinion, perhaps others may be interested?

 

[pygmalion]

It feels like potentially a deep and meaningful point of discussion - but honestly, it's Thanksgiving weekend, and I'm feeling way too light hearted and flippant to want to discuss it myself.

But I respect your opinion, perhaps others may be interested?

:lol: Understood. I'm about to go take a nap in my fuzzy pink PJ's, myself. 8)

 

[tj]

It feels like potentially a deep and meaningful point of discussion - but honestly, it's Thanksgiving weekend, and I'm feeling way too light hearted and flippant to want to discuss it myself.

But I respect your opinion, perhaps others may be interested?

:lol: Understood. I'm about to go take a nap in my fuzzy pink PJ's, myself. 8)

Lol, that would be PJ's , right?

(says tj who is neither fuzzy nor pink) :wink:

 

[pygmalion]

:lol: :lol: That would be pajamas, oh silly one! :lol:

 

[tj]

:lol: :lol: That would be pajamas, oh silly one! :lol:

:wink:

(I told you that I'm in that sort of mood! Comes from being around the nieces, I guess!)

 

[danceguy]

Wonderful to hear you had such a great experience! I think perhaps it may be best not to find a way to use words here...something unspoken yet very special...it is what it is!

I tried to think what I was doing the other night that made for such a wonderful dance...and while I pinpointed a few things...what really made it work was the connection my partner and I found together.

Can't really say why or how...it just happened and we enjoyed it... :wink: