Match-ups, Fix-ups, and Blind Dates

A guy who'll be rude to his blind date because he thinks she's desperate? Well. He's going to be out there looking quite a while longer, or at least he should be.

Didn't it ever occur to him that he might be the one receiving a sympathy date? Sheesh! The two fix-ups I've done were both favors for a friend. Nothing involving my being desperate, at all. I don't do desperate, when it comes to men. I just don't.
 
skwiggy said:
My current boyfriend was a set-up/blind date. I've had my share of bad set-ups as well. I say go for it. I figure, what have you got to lose? At worst, you've lost one evening of your life. At best, you meet someone special. And there are a lot of possibilities in between. You might end up making a new friend.
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Ayuh, risk and reward. ;)
 
Just out of curiosity, what kind of things do you guys/ladies think it's appropriate to talk about on a blind date? I've had guys being quite intrusive and basically wanted me to sum up my whole life in 5 min! While i don't mind having a friendly conversation, i do feel a little uncomfortable divulging so much personal info to someone i've never met b4....am i just being too much of a prude?
 
Shooshoo said:
So, dancepoet, are you going to start the dating business soon?

You've already started giving out tips and advice :p .
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This implies that I'm not already in the business. ;) :lol:
 
pygmalion said:
I'm not sure being a on a blind date makes you look desperate, or does it? :? I certainly hope not -- I think it's a situation that works for some people. Not me, so far, but some people ...
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Exactly.

@shoo shoo Yeah. You bring in an interesting perspective. I thought about this, too. The whole idea of meeting someone and becoming a couple can be very different, depending on your cultural perspective. Dating, the way we do it in the states, doesn't even exist in some cultures. In some cultures, it's assumed that somebody will fix you up and you'll marry them and be content ever after. If you're lucky, you might even fall in love.

I'm wondering if maybe the reason fix-ups don't appeal to me is because there's a clash between the two ideas. Fix-ups tend to be practical and based on our friends' perceptions of similarities. Meanwhile, a lot of us are out there looking for love (or at least attraction and interest) at first sight, and you know what they say. Opposites attract.
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True, but opposites don't always make a good long term match, although ... I've read that there are higher proportions of couples who stay married who are of opposite birth order, oldest and youngest. Yet I have also read that the success of a couple is also impacted by the birth order of your parents and how it interacts with your birth order, too. Very interesting stuff.

Maybe the two just don't work together all that well. :? In some instances, yeah. But not most that I've seen so far.

I guess my bottom line (based on my few negative experiences) is why risk the relationship I already have with a friend by pursuing a probably-not-going-to-work relationship with someone I don't even know? (Yikes! I'm cynical. :lol: )
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I wouldn't say cynical, I'd say you are just measuring the risk and reward. :cool:
 
I think it depends upon the friend who has the idea...how well does that friend know you?...I mean I have a friend who is always getting men thrown her way and she just happens to prefer women but doesn't wish to broadcast it...so it depends....I also have friends struggling with mental illness and serious romances just tend to push them in the wrong direction psychlogically and emotionally...I am still trying to figure out what is the problem with being alone....having said all of that....if you don't want to be alone...true true true friends are probably the best folks to help you on a variety of levels
 
lynn said:
It certainly doesn't but some people do have the perception that being on blind date makes them desparate. I know some guys are quite rude on blind dates simply b/c they think the girl is so desparate to want to be with someone and would go for anyone whom she's being set up with (it goes for both genders, of course). But what it really comes down is how open we are to the idea of blind dates. Some people have fun while others struggle to get over the awkwardness (some never do, which makes the whole experience even worse).
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Hmmm ... don't let other people's mispreceptions keep you from being openminded. ;)
 
fascination said:
having said all of that....if you don't want to be alone...true true true friends are probably the best folks to help you on a variety of levels
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That's another problem I have. Some people assume that you don't want to be alone. They just figure "you haven't met the right guy yet." (That's a direct quote. ) Zoinks! Isn't it possible that you do want to be alone, at least for a while?

Yes. I know people mean well. But single is also a valid way to be... I think. :?
 
DancePoet said:
True, but opposites don't always make a good long term match, although ... I've read that there are higher proportions of couples who stay married who are of opposite birth order, oldest and youngest. Yet I have also read that the success of a couple is also impacted by the birth order of your parents and how it interacts with your birth order, too. Very interesting stuff.
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Yes. That birth order analysis is frightening insightful, sometimes. :?
 
lynn said:
DP, you hit the jackpot right here;) ! I've found with blind dates is that the other party is usually very quiet and i always ended up being the one having to think of interesting "neutral" conversations to talk about. Its quite exhausting after probably 30 min. The other person may think that we're having a great time, but unfortunately, i've often felt that i was being the entertainer in these kind of situation.
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Super! See, now you can rule those types of guys out! Cacooo! :bouncy:
 
lynn said:
DP, you hit the jackpot right here;) ! I've found with blind dates is that the other party is usually very quiet and i always ended up being the one having to think of interesting "neutral" conversations to talk about. Its quite exhausting after probably 30 min. The other person may think that we're having a great time, but unfortunately, i've often felt that i was being the entertainer in these kind of situation.
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Oddly enough, this reminds me of some dating advice for women that I read -- written circa 1950. Basically, it placed the entire responsibility for creating pleasant conversation upon the woman. Not just pleasant, but man-centered. In other words, as the woman on a date, it would be your job to get the guy to open up and talk about himself.

Egad! *shudder* As it so happens, I think that getting someone else to open up is a part of good communication skills. But for the entire conversation to be centered around the guy? Eeek! That's an idea that belongs in 1950, IMO. :lol:
 
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