Match-ups, Fix-ups, and Blind Dates

[lynn]

I also used to get that, so in the end I told my friends, if they want to set me up then I shouldn't tell me before-hand. But then no one did . Too much of an effort I guess to match everyone's busy schedule.

i guess for blind dates, it's just that i'm so self-conscious of myself that I "try" too hard to impress the other person (not sure why i do that) - and i ended up presenting an image which is not me......

 

[skwiggy]

But what so you do then? Just leave and end it the outing? But then you think maybe you're being judgemental.

By going on the date, you are taking a risk that you might not be a good match. You don't have to *do* anything about that. Just be polite, finish the date, and that's it. If you want to minimize the risk, then start with something that can be limited to an hour like coffee or a cocktail. Then only commit to something like dinner once you know you might like them.

 

[lynn]

I think after work coffee break is a good idea - if you think there's something worth exploring, you can always go for dinner aftewards. If not, you can always excuse yourself when dinner time approaches.

 

[waltzgirl]

"Yesterday when I returned to work after the weekend, we were talking about what we'd done and it came out that not only had I gone dancing (they didn't know I danced) but that I went out alone. I think my boss must have said 5 times, "I can't believe you just went... alone!" I'm thinking, "Isn't the whole purpose of going out to meet people? Why would it matter if you brought people you knew with you then?" Fact is, I did go out alone, I met a bunch of people, and I did not spend the evenings "alone". I was with a bunch of new friends and we had a good time."

Civilians often don't understand going out just to dance. They equate going out to dance alone with something like going to a bar alone. They both seem like mainly a meet-market to non-dancers, so they think you're very brave (or reckless) to go alone.

 

[Joe]

LOL, "civilians."

 

[DancePoet]

:lol:!

Remind me of a blind date, i was dressed up o.k. (translation: presentable but not ultra formal) while the guy sitting across the table just got out of his home renovation project so he was in his shorts & sandals & i guess i should be thankful he wasn't covered in dust but my first impression was :shock:.....yep, incompatible it was!

:lol:

 

[DancePoet]

i guess for blind dates, it's just that i'm so self-conscious of myself that I "try" too hard to impress the other person (not sure why i do that) - and i ended up presenting an image which is not me......

Being comfortable with who we as an individual is the first step to having so many things in life, including joy with blind dates.

If we try to impress the other person,. that is when things could become forced. Then the genuineness of who we are becomes suppressed and we lower ourself below the humanity of both them and us. When we feel we need to impress, we are lass likely impressive.

 

[DancePoet]

By going on the date, you are taking a risk that you might not be a good match. You don't have to *do* anything about that. Just be polite, finish the date, and that's it. If you want to minimize the risk, then start with something that can be limited to an hour like coffee or a cocktail. Then only commit to something like dinner once you know you might like them.

Definitely wisdom in this! :banana:

 

[DancePoet]

I think after work coffee break is a good idea - if you think there's something worth exploring, you can always go for dinner aftewards. If not, you can always excuse yourself when dinner time approaches.

I like the idea of sharing something like coffee, but if it is after work becertain you have a good reason available to keep things short. Coffee before work and lunchtime always gives a person the reality of getting to work as a sufficient reason to conclude the date and keep things short.

 

[DancePoet]

"Yesterday when I returned to work after the weekend, we were talking about what we'd done and it came out that not only had I gone dancing (they didn't know I danced) but that I went out alone. I think my boss must have said 5 times, "I can't believe you just went... alone!" I'm thinking, "Isn't the whole purpose of going out to meet people? Why would it matter if you brought people you knew with you then?" Fact is, I did go out alone, I met a bunch of people, and I did not spend the evenings "alone". I was with a bunch of new friends and we had a good time."

Civilians often don't understand going out just to dance. They equate going out to dance alone with something like going to a bar alone. They both seem like mainly a meet-market to non-dancers, so they think you're very brave (or reckless) to go alone.

Perhaps a good measure of a person is their ability to be comfortable enough with their self to be able to go out "alone".

And by the way, I've gone out dancing alone, gone to lunch alone, gone to movies alone, gone to restaurants to eat alone, lived alone, etc, etc, etc ... so it can be done and it can be done with joy!

 

[Keelzorz]

Civilians often don't understand going out just to dance. .

LOL, "civilians."

I prefer the term "muggles."

 

[pygmalion]

lol. True. They don't know the magic. :wink:

 

[Sagitta]

Perhaps a good measure of a person is their ability to be comfortable enough with their self to be able to go out "alone".

And by the way, I've gone out dancing alone, gone to lunch alone, gone to movies alone, gone to restaurants to eat alone, lived alone, etc, etc, etc ... so it can be done and it can be done with joy!

Ditto to dat!

 

[fascination]

alone is important...not always fun, but important

 

[Twilight_Elena]

lol. True. They don't know the magic. :wink:

When trying to explain to "muggle" friends why I'm so crazy about dancing, I tell them that my life before dancing was a world of black and white, and then it became a world of incredible colour.

Twilight Elena