Milonga codes of Buenos Aires accepted in Hong Kong milonga

[Albanaich]

I would say 90% of my dance partners are selected through eye contact - and that applies to all forms of dance.

I only formally ask when there is some kind of social barrier, ie the person is in a large group, they do a different style of dancing.

Occasionally I line up the next partner when I'm on the floor dancing, you see someone standing at the exits, watching you dance, you give them a brief nod and you know you are fixed up. You can do it from 50 yards.

It gets quite amusing when it takes a minute or two to disaengage from one partner on to the next as the new partner often has a few guys come up to her in the interim then you stride across the floor and sweep into the dance like Prince Charming

 

[hbboogie1]

the Prince Charming Codigo

I would say 90% of my dance partners are selected through eye contact - and that applies to all forms of dance.

I only formally ask when there is some kind of social barrier, ie the person is in a large group, they do a different style of dancing.

Occasionally I line up the next partner when I'm on the floor dancing, you see someone standing at the exits, watching you dance, you give them a brief nod and you know you are fixed up. You can do it from 50 yards.

It gets quite amusing when it takes a minute or two to disaengage from one partner on to the next as the new partner often has a few guys come up to her in the interim then you stride across the floor and sweep into the dance like Prince Charming

The Prince Charming Codigo?
This must be a long lost British codigo I’ve never heard anyone mention it before now.
It must make the lady your dancing with feel pretty special. Next milonga I’m gonna try it. I’ve always wanted to pay more attention to the exits then to my dance partner.
jajajajajajajaja

 

[Albanaich]

I said occasionally. . . . . . . it just happens. If you're in the right time at the right place.

You've never noticed anyone watching you dance?

I take it you've never watched Shrek. . . .

 

[Subliminal]

Man, that's nothing. Once I arranged the next dance, got a different girl's phone number, and ordered a pizza all in the last song of the tanda.

 

[Dave Bailey]

Man, that's nothing. Once I arranged the next dance, got a different girl's phone number, and ordered a pizza all in the last song of the tanda.

Pah, that's nothing.

I did all that, and ate the pizza whilst dancing. So nerr...

 

[bordertangoman]

Pah, that's nothing.

I did all that, and ate the pizza whilst dancing. So nerr...

Eeeh bah, gum; You were lucky! In my day I would dance to the bar, dance back again with a round of my drinks for me mates, without spilling a drop, mind you, or they'd be reet flathered, flick up the two bob I'd dropped with my right foot and catch it in my breast pocket and there were no Cifs in those days, we were wearing clogs and if you so much as touched a lady's foot, the bouncers would chuck you out.

 

[Subliminal]

Wow! That seems like a lot of effort though. I prefer to use the cabeceo to get another follower to order my food for me. It's pretty easy to do, once you get the trick of it.

She just has to feel the hunger in your eyes.

 

[Captain Jep]

So... was at a tango event this weekend. Room was divided into 2 parts : the "stage" and the main floor.

I realise I have a thing about events like this. I will ask people to dance if :
a) they sit on the seats around the main floor and
b) they are available for the cabaceo

That to me is "playing the game".

Of course the "best" dancers dont want to do this. They either sit on the stage or they sit behind the DJ desk. They expect people to cross the floor to ask them to dance.

Now I know on one level Im depriving myself of a dance "experience" by not walking over to the stage. But really - how do I know these people actually want to dance? They may be "hiding" from the dance floor or having a rest. Even when I suspect all they're doing is being a part of a clique how am I to know what's in their minds?

All I know is that if Im prepared to play the game they should too. And if that means "missing out" hey thats how its going to be.

How do other people cope with this situation?

 

[Dave Bailey]

Of course the "best" dancers dont want to do this. They either sit on the stage or they sit behind the DJ desk. They expect people to cross the floor to ask them to dance.

Ah yes.

The good old "No Row", we used to call it in Modern Jive - or ""Don't Be Avenue" occasionally.

How do other people cope with this situation?

Two things:

Firstly, if you get good enough, in any dance form, you can do whatever the hell you want. Stand where you want, ask however you want, and dance with whoever you want. At least, I found that in MJ and salsa, at least, and I suspect the same is true in AT. Ability works.

Secondly, some people are simply snooty. Typically, these are the ones who are at the "reasonably good" level - but not the ones at the "really good" level. These are the exceptions to the rule above - frankly, if they don't like the look of you they'll never dance with you, no matter how good you are. Ignore them.

 

[Captain Jep]

Ah yes.

The good old "No Row", we used to call it in Modern Jive - or ""Don't Be Avenue" occasionally.


Two things:

Firstly, if you get good enough, in any dance form, you can do whatever the hell you want. Stand where you want, ask however you want, and dance with whoever you want. At least, I found that in MJ and salsa, at least, and I suspect the same is true in AT. Ability works.

Secondly, some people are simply snooty. Typically, these are the ones who are at the "reasonably good" level - but not the ones at the "really good" level. These are the exceptions to the rule above - frankly, if they don't like the look of you they'll never dance with you, no matter how good you are. Ignore them.

I try. And mostly succeed. I guess what gets me is at a typical AT weekender I would expect eventually to dance with everybody. So part of me wants to dance with these people. But they make it so hard that I just give up in the end.

I think in AT we admire humility. The humility to always work on your basics, to dance with both beginners and experienced alike, the humility to open yourself to another person. So there's something especially annoying about those who dont do this.

Anyway, enough whinging. Their loss. I was perfectly happy to dance with the "reasonably good" at this particular event. "Reasonably good" there was better than most of the people who I meet at some other venues I could mention

 

[Madahlia]

Eeeh bah, gum; You were lucky! In my day I would dance to the bar, dance back again with a round of my drinks for me mates, without spilling a drop, mind you, or they'd be reet flathered, flick up the two bob I'd dropped with my right foot and catch it in my breast pocket and there were no Cifs in those days, we were wearing clogs and if you so much as touched a lady's foot, the bouncers would chuck you out.

ROFL.

Wonder how this humour translates into American?

 

[Madahlia]

I try. And mostly succeed. I guess what gets me is at a typical AT weekender I would expect eventually to dance with everybody.

Gosh. Would you? At a typical AT weekender I'd be surprised if I danced with more than 50% of the men there and they would usually be people I'd danced with before. I can up this by asking carefully selected "new" leaders to dance - directly & verbally. I don't ask top-flighters or anyone who looks like they'd turn me down. If I relied on the cabeceo I would probably spend my time dancing with about 15% of the men there. But then, with familiar partners, there's no need for elaborate etiquette.

So part of me wants to dance with these people. But they make it so hard that I just give up in the end.

Give up on them but don't give up on yourself or your dancing, is what I say. And in fact, need to take that advice myself!

 

[vade mecum]

Captain Jep said: <Of course the "best" dancers dont want to do this. They either sit on the stage or they sit behind the DJ desk. They expect people to cross the floor to ask them to dance.

All I know is that if Im prepared to play the game they should too. And if that means "missing out" hey thats how its going to be.>
-----------------------
Exactly the same thing here--sitting around the DJ desk or on the stage every week are the main lights of the pista. It shouldn't vex me but it does. I like the "No Row" designation. I also like Captain Jeps interpretation about humility and opening yourself up. So that's where I'm at most of the time. Walking up and down the Vista of Vulnerability trying to catch the eyes of those who make them selves approachable.

 

[Captain Jep]

Gosh. Would you? At a typical AT weekender I'd be surprised if I danced with more than 50% of the men there and they would usually be people I'd danced with before. I can up this by asking carefully selected "new" leaders to dance - directly & verbally. I don't ask top-flighters or anyone who looks like they'd turn me down. If I relied on the cabeceo I would probably spend my time dancing with about 15% of the men there. But then, with familiar partners, there's no need for elaborate etiquette.

Well I can only speak for myself. But yes I would expect to be able to dance with most people eventually. There are some women I dont dance with because of height issues (Im 6 foot tall) but otherwise I am always happy to go for a "road test".

I think women have to remember how desparate men are for "clues". The men dont want to be turned down either. So my advice is this : from the moment you walk into an event start to give out clues. Chat with people as you're putting on your shoes. Talk to the person you're sitting next to. Heavens, even a random smile at someone early in the evening can be enough. If a guy knows that a) you do smile and b) that you have a SOH then chances are he will remember. And will ask you later.

Another surefire way of getting a dance is to attend the afternoon sessions. In my experience there's always a surplus of men over women then. If you make yourself at all available then you're guaranteed a dance. And you'll probably get one later (a dance that is!). Sundays are also good days - especially the evening event if you can make it.

Dont get me wrong by the way. Im pretty sure I could dance with the "gods". That's to say - Ive had the odd speculative glance from some of them . But I do expect them to play the game. And if they wont sit in the "cheap seats" then I dont (generally) dance with them

 

[Captain Jep]

Captain Jep said: <Of course the "best" dancers dont want to do this. They either sit on the stage or they sit behind the DJ desk. They expect people to cross the floor to ask them to dance.

All I know is that if Im prepared to play the game they should too. And if that means "missing out" hey thats how its going to be.>
-----------------------
Exactly the same thing here--sitting around the DJ desk or on the stage every week are the main lights of the pista. It shouldn't vex me but it does. I like the "No Row" designation. I also like Captain Jeps interpretation about humility and opening yourself up. So that's where I'm at most of the time. Walking up and down the Vista of Vulnerability trying to catch the eyes of those who make them selves approachable.

Im glad it's not just me . Heh it's a good thing we have an ego isnt it? It allows us to function at a milonga and come back from the rejections. Of course on the other hand we're trying to get rid of it once we actually get to dance