One dance partner all night?

[Big10]

How difficult is it for you to dance exclusively with the same person for an entire night? What factors make it better or worse?

I have seen many comments (both currently and in the past) where posters talk about the need to have multiple dance partners during an evening, even to the point that it becomes uncomfortable to bring a date to a club, because of the feeling of being stifled from dancing with others. :? I certainly have several women with whom I enjoy dancing, but I also expect to get married someday and there would presumably be many nights when my future wife would be my only partner. I have also had several nights in the past where I actually did dance with just one partner (sometimes dates, sometimes just friends), without any problem.

The subject came to my mind this past week, since I danced on both Tuesday night and Wednesday night -- about the same number of songs at each club. However, the difference is that I danced with about 10 separate women on Tuesday night, but only one woman on Wednesday night. The Wednesday night partner wasn't even a real "date," but just a friend who had been out of town and so we hadn't danced together in awhile. She even danced about 3 songs with other guys (so I wasn't monopolizing her), but personally I didn't dance with any women that I knew at the club. I just used the time that I wasn't dancing with her to chat and/or rest.

I had an equal amount of fun on both Tuesday night and Wednesday night. For me, it's not really boring to dance with the same woman, as long as the songs are different -- if that makes any sense to you.

So, when does it become "stifling" or "boring" for you to dance with the same partner? Are there different considerations for leaders and followers? I'd also be curious to know how many of you have actually danced with a single partner for 10 or more songs in the same night, not for practice, but just as an evening of social dancing?

 

[fallenangel]

I think it's a personal preference. I had dance, 8-10 dance with one guy before.
And it's the quality of the dance not the quantity. If u enjoyed dancing with that one person it won't be boring. At some point it will be boring if u do that all the time.
Like u said, u dance with everyone on tues but one on wed night, that's cool.
Due to dates, friends out of town, etc... usually i don't bring dates or friends that don't dance. Wouldn't want to bore them to death and keep myself from dancing.
If one day u do get married to a dancer, i'm sure the both of u would have the understanding of dancing with other ppl as well.
Try to even it out, and sometimes we're just not in the mood.
After all we're out there to enjoy ourselves, not to please other ppl opinions.
If the feeling is bad, trust your gut and just let it go.
There is always ppl that agree with u or disagree with u, just go with what your heart feels it's right.
Don't think too much, Dance With Passion

 

[Shooshoo]

10 or more songs in the same night, not for practice, but just as an evening of social dancing?

:shock: 10 is quite a lot.

I have a dance partner I can easily dance with 5-6 dances the same night. But it depends much on the music being played cause then not all the dances are the same. It's a night where it's not only salsa. So I can do 4 salsas, 2 chachas, 2 jives, a rumba and a tango (oh..., that's almost 10). In addition this guy likes to try new moves, so it's fine for me cause then I get to learn new stuff.

I generally like dancing with different partners, but the nights when I dance alot with this guy is usually if there aren't many others who I enjoy dancing with, so we in a way 'monopolize' each other.

I also think if I get the chance to dance with my instructor I could easily enjoy dancing many dances cause of the variety of dances he can do.

 

[Legato Bluesummers]

I would feel stifled.

I want to be the best dancer that I can be; dancing with one person all night would not help me to be a better dancer.

 

[Sabor]

any more than 3.. she'll have to pay me .. hahaha

 

[MacMoto]

How difficult is it for you to dance exclusively with the same person for an entire night? What factors make it better or worse?

I think whether you are a leader or a follower can be a factor.

As a lead, you probably do pretty much the same sort of things for every dance -- okay, you do change things depending on the song and the partner, but your repartoire is finite (unless you happen to be one of those salsa selebrities who can invent moves on the fly). So if you have a partner you really enjoy dancing with, you can probably enjoy dancing only with her all night just as much as dancing with different women.

For me, as a follower, much of the fun of dancing comes from the fact that I don't know what's coming next. It's a mystery rollercoaster ride; every turn gives you a surprise. But what if you've done that ride a dozen times already? Personally I've never managed a night with just one person to dance with. The most I could stomach was half a night with a good leader I had only just met and fancied (and that does help :lol, but after a while even the novelty and attraction lose the magic, and moves start feeling a bit repetitive, a bit too familiar. I had to go and do my round with other guys before I felt ready to go back to him.

 

[nikita]

It depends on you, what you think is right for you. I know lot's of guys, which do not accept, that their wife dances with other partners all nite long. Others just don't care.
I personally have a slight tendency just to dance with one partner. Or at least, with only a few.

 

[borikensalsero]

I've danced with the same lady (my lady love) the entire night countless of times. 'but, there is a but to it, mostly we do it in places that are specifically for the "non-dancing" crowd. We do this, although they are Salsa only venues but for non-dancers, to have time to ourselves, enjoy ourselves, and get a piece of mind that a salsa crowd just doesn't offer because of all the "un-written" rules to which members are held. During those nights we are into each other and nothing more, we won't refuse a dance if asked, but we don't go out of our way to do so.

There have also been times in dancer venues, where she will only dance with me, at least 10 - 15 times, even the nights were we only dance with one another. There simply is times that we go out, not to dance, but to socialize and if the song is fitting, then we'll only dance with one another.

Also, if female friends visiting from out of town tell me that they don't want to dance with anyone but me, I make it a point, even if at a dancers venue, to dance as many songs as they wish. For the sake of her comfort, that night, everyone who wants to dance with me will wait until I'm free, if at all. This has happened multiple times, all, from fear by the ladies of dancing in NY City.

It don't really care even if it affects dancers' judgment of my actions. I'll take the heat, if they don't understand too bad, that night my consern my company.

 

[sweavo]

... and get a piece of mind that a salsa crowd just doesn't offer because of all the "un-written" rules to which members are held. During those nights we are into each other and nothing more, we won't refuse a dance if asked, but we don't go out of our way to do so.

...

It don't really care even if it affects dancers' judgment of my actions. I'll take the heat, if they don't understand too bad, that night my consern my company.

Hear hear!

Just because it's nice not to refuse a dance doesn't make it a God-given right to be danced with! I don't think I'd take a date to most salsa night sunless it was somewhere we were both complete strangers and could have some us-time without being contantly molested! My S.O. and I did go to a live salsa gig as a date, and we danced together and apart a little, but I also refused dances with the excuse "I'm on a date tonight and I'd better check in with her".

 

[squirrel]

I don't have a problem dancing with the same partner for a longer time, but I most definitely prefer diversity.

Still, since our scene is pretty small IMO and the number of good dancers is low (I am talking about my level and my preference) I have to make do with a few good leaders (and, of course, with the others who invite me).

 

[naturallove]

A variety of partners for me...

but more than one dance with the good ones if you can (just not always in a row!) I strongly prefer to dance with lots of different partners so that I can really see if I'm improving or not. You may think you're improving, but dancing with a partner whose moves, style, lead you've never seen is often a wakeup call! That's why I made a point of dancing with lots of different partners when I went to the D.C. Salsa Congress a couple of months ago. I felt good because while my dancing wasn't perfect, I was able to follow leads I'd never seen before!

 

[DCR]

I don't think i could dance with the same lady all night. besides if she was with me she knows she can dance with whom ever she wants.

 

[Big10]

I want to be the best dancer that I can be; dancing with one person all night would not help me to be a better dancer.

I strongly prefer to dance with lots of different partners so that I can really see if I'm improving or not.

Interesting comments -- but does every dance or every evening need to be viewed as a learning experience? Can't there be evenings when dancers just accept what they know at the moment, and simply do the best you can to enjoy the music with your partner(s)? My personal belief is that there will always be "something" I can learn to improve my dancing, but, at the same time, I don't want to become overwhelmed with dwelling on some unattainable perfection. So, I'll often "just go with the flow."

Along those lines, once I've developed a good connection with a particular partner, it's not difficult for me to dance with that partner all night. On the other hand, without that connection, there have been times when a four-minute song is about three minutes too long....

I think whether you are a leader or a follower can be a factor.

As a lead, you probably do pretty much the same sort of things for every dance -- okay, you do change things depending on the song and the partner, but your repartoire is finite (unless you happen to be one of those salsa selebrities who can invent moves on the fly). So if you have a partner you really enjoy dancing with, you can probably enjoy dancing only with her all night just as much as dancing with different women.

For me, as a follower, much of the fun of dancing comes from the fact that I don't know what's coming next. It's a mystery rollercoaster ride; every turn gives you a surprise. But what if you've done that ride a dozen times already?

That's a good explanation, and that leader/follower contrast was in the back of my mind when I asked the original question. On a personal level, because I try to adjust to the music, my sequences will be different (and feel different) simply because each song is different -- even though the permutation comes from my finite number of moves. At least that's what I'm trying to accomplish. Or, maybe I've just been lucky enough to know a few women who like riding the same rollercoaster dozens of times.

 

[quixotedlm]

For me, as a follower, much of the fun of dancing comes from the fact that I don't know what's coming next. It's a mystery rollercoaster ride; every turn gives you a surprise. But what if you've done that ride a dozen times already? Personally I've never managed a night with just one person to dance with. The most I could stomach was half a night with a good leader I had only just met and fancied (and that does help :lol, but after a while even the novelty and attraction lose the magic, and moves start feeling a bit repetitive, a bit too familiar. I had to go and do my round with other guys before I felt ready to go back to him.

I struggled the most (and still do) with this aspect of salsa dancing - I get bored with myself quickly. So if I can't conjure up a few new moves every couple of days (or learn some from the 3-4 group classes I take), I get no fun from dancing. This is what keeps bringing me back to salsa all the time - the euphoria of dancing on the floor and the intellectual stimulation I get when I'm imagining up new moves in 3-D

 

[amo_dile_que_no]

Can't there be evenings when dancers just accept what they know at the moment, and simply do the best you can to enjoy the music with your partner(s)? /quote]

I hear you. When I go out it is to dance and have a good time, not to explicitly practice technique. You gotta try those new moves on the dance floor sometimes, but it's all in an effort to have fun. The only reason, I've ever danced.