Salsa Fix - The Day After...

[MapleLeaf Salsero]

Hi!

I’m sure all of us have had that exceptional dance with a lady that causes us to fall into a state of nirvana. Weeks later, we keep reliving that dance over and over in our minds and a smile of satisfaction appears on our face. Rewinding our brain in order to feel that special 4 minute moment we had with that salsera, that place of complete bliss we were taken to and want to go back to.

Unfortunately this does not happen everytime we go to a salsa club. If it did, I would probably quit my day job and just dance for the rest of my life (just kidding). :wink:

When this first started to happen, the first thing that I would do was either ask her to dance again on that very night or the next time I’d meet her in a club.

Recently, I have been reluctant to ask these girls to dance again. Usually only after 1 or 2 months do I feel like asking them again. Why? Well to be honest, I feel that during that dance we accomplished something great. A masterpiece created by two people, something very close to perfection. To dance with her again on the same night or the night after, would probably be a disappointment. Even though the second time is usually quite good also, it is far from being that fabulous experience you had with her before.

In short, I guess it’s because I want to keep the moment in my mind as long as possible without it be cluttered with the second not-so-good experience. I know this seems odd, but does anyone else purposely create a “delay” after a salsa fix, or should I be in a mental institution?

Regards,

 

[TheArchon]

:shock: :?

I really dont understand you, mostly you dance with yourself in Salsa, you choose the moves, the song decide the rythem, and hopefully the girl wont put to much resistance, or to little(so i dont really wanna dance with myself), and that she doesnt have rubber shoes...

I usually choose my partners for their look, for the first time(if i really like them i will probably try to date them), and in the second time, if i like dancing with them(the resistance factor), but nothing special there, casue i didn't liked her enough to date her...

 

[MapleLeaf Salsero]

Hi Archon!

I think that I probably didn’t explain myself well enough. I wasn’t talking about liking the girl in a romantic way. I was talking about having a great “dance” experience with a girl (any girl). It’s hard to explain - only if you’ve experienced the same thing can you understand what I mean.

Regards,

 

[TheArchon]

I did understand you, and answered.

If you are a girl, i can understand what is a great dance experiance(not really, but i can visualize), if someone is a great dancer and her knows how to move a girl, she can have a great experiance.

But since we choose what to do, and the girl only comply(hopefully), i dont see your point in a great dance with someone, she doesnt moves you, she doesnt choose your rytheme.

Enlighten me, how can a girl gives you a great dance experiance?(beside one that looks great) :?:

 

[borikensalsero]

To clarify...

TheArchon. This is my take on MapleLeaf Salsero. He is not talking about anything skin deep that can be seen with the eyes of a bystander. He is talking about something deeper than skin that was achieved during a dance. The easiest thing in mind to come to explain that difference is that of liking someone and loving someone. While they are both good, liking is never going to make you reach the nirvana that love does. Sex turns into love making, words turn to poetry, the imperfection of a person is a perfection, and the two of you have ceased to be two individuals and become one.

Hence, when he goes out dancing and finds that spark on someone that takes the dance beyond physical means and transcends it to that of absolute love, he reaches nirvana and does not want to ruin it by dancing again. He wants to savor that memory as long as he can. Kind of like when you first kiss the love of your life, you’ll sit there and replay the moment over and over and over in your head. To each time hope that you feel the same way, with the fear that it might not.

Ultimately why salsa is so addicting. You can find love from the cookie monster in the next garbage can. All you have to do is be there and let your soul take you there.

 

[borikensalsero]

Now, I have to say, welcome to the wonderful world of soul-salsa MapleLeaf. I must admit that since my first occurance 2 years ago, it has been easier and easier to reach nirvana when dancing. In a night, if the DJ plays 20 absolutely great songs, all 20 of them will enlighten my soul. Now, when the DJ doesn't, I'll fall flat on my face and try to push my soul to peak out just a tad, so I can, at least, dance with someone with out looking like I want no part of that song.

Besides that, I will have to say that it has more to do with you than her. She is only making it easier for you to allow nirvana to take over. She has the spark too, and when two dancers dance with the soul a spark is generated even from across the room. You don't have to dance with her to know what she feels, nor be in nirvana, you will automatically be there just by watching the dancer. Its a passion that out reaches the walls. You can sense it just by walking into the room. But make no mistake, enjoyment also disguises itself as passion, and if you happen to come across that dancer and dance with them, you’ll be in total dissatisfaction and leave the night wishing you really never asked her to dance.

Not because she wasn’t a good dancer, but because you were fooled into thinking that there was passion/love there, when in reality there was only a big LIKE in her dance. It’s happened to me and I’ve been devastated to touch the girl and feel there is absolutely nothing there. I must admit that it feels like being broken-hearted. It can destroy how you see her dancing again, but you will notice the difference in her aura, something your passion didn’t allow you to see the first time. :cry: There is nothing worse than the anticipation of something great to succumb to a lifeless dance. :cry:

 

[salsachinita]

You can find love from the cookie monster in the next garbage can. All you have to do is be there and let your soul take you there.

:lol: :lol: :lol: This is by far the cutest thing I've ever heard 8) !

*Mental Note to Self: check for cookie monster in garbage cans :wink: *

 

[borikensalsero]

You can find love from the cookie monster in the next garbage can. All you have to do is be there and let your soul take you there.

:lol: :lol: :lol: This is by far the cutest thing I've ever heard 8) !

*Mental Note to Self: check for cookie monster in garbage cans :wink: *

:bouncy: :tongue:

 

[salsachinita]

There is nothing worse than the anticipation of something great to succumb to a lifeless dance. :cry:

I can SO relate to this :cry: ! But the need to reach that nirvana is strong enough to make me get back on that horse and give it a try all over again (same applies in love)!

 

[looyenyeo]

Dear Mapleleaf,

I understand completely what you're on about. I call it "the perfect moment", and it's a poor phrase to describe dance's embodiment of enlightenment.

The question is:
"Would you prefer to hold on to the memory, or risk it for the possibility of creating another?"

I'd take the second option every single time. What is more, I use the memory of it as an incentive to be a better partner, that perhaps it could happen more often, with more different people (and it has).

By all means, wait a respectful period before asking that person for another dance. I find a week nearly too long, which means it's just about right.

As for recreating the feeling, maybe you're trying for it too hard. I've found that if you go out looking for it, you won't find it - the intent alone stops you from building a rapport.

How can I phrase this right... (I'm sorry, I don't mean to preach)

Just enjoy the dance as the dance, and enjoy your partner as your partner. Neither of them can be intentional vehicles for creating the moment, because it'll happen when it happens.

And during the times when it doesn't? Well, I've learned to wait.

Loo

 

[MapleLeaf Salsero]

Hi again,

I was starting to think that no one understood what I said, that I was speaking some kind of foreign language.

BorikenSalsero put it perfectly. He has been there; he knows what I’m talking about…

I think it’s hard for someone to understand unless they’ve felt it before. How do you explain a tooth ache to someone who has never experienced physical pain...

The question is:
"Would you prefer to hold on to the memory, or risk it for the possibility of creating another?"

Looyenyeo, you have a good point! One or two months is a long time in a salsero’s calender. I think I expect too much after a nirvana like experience. I have to let loose a little bit... Hmm......

Regards,
[/quote]

 

[peachexploration]

There is nothing worse than the anticipation of something great to succumb to a lifeless dance. :cry:

I can SO relate to this :cry: ! But the need to reach that nirvana is strong enough to make me get back on that horse and give it a try all over again (same applies in love)!

I'm with you on this one Salsachinita!

The question is:
"Would you prefer to hold on to the memory, or risk it for the possibility of creating another?"

As a follower, I would say "please, please, please take the risk for the possibility of creating another memory". If I felt the same as you at the time we danced, chances are, I'd want to go there with you again. :wink: But not everyone is the same so I know what you mean. The risk of not being able to connect with that person in Salsa as you once had is a little disheartening.

 

[TheArchon]

I guess i will never understand you, when i dance, i care mostly for the music, if its salsa, or wales or cha cha, or trance. I absorb the rythem the beat, im in control, i dont really care who my partner is at that moment, as long as she dosnt intefere with my dance, i enjoy the dance as long as i enjoy the music.

 

[Vin]

I understand you here mapleleaf, but I don't understand one aspect. If I have that incredible connection with a person, I want it again and I am sure that it will only get stronger as we learn more about dancing together.

 

[borikensalsero]

I understand you here mapleleaf, but I don't understand one aspect. If I have that incredible connection with a person, I want it again and I am sure that it will only get stronger as we learn more about dancing together.

There are times that a connection really has nothing to do with the dance itself (physical pleasure), but the meshing of the dancer’s soul. The point where no matter how well the dance goes or doesn't, to the dancers it was incredible.

When dancers reach this point it truly feels as if there is one person dancing, so their mistakes are your mistakes, their best move becomes your best move, their best follow is your best lead, regardless of how well the dance ends being, the connection felt hasn't been one physical but emotional. So better knowing each other has no relevance as to reaching "nirvana".

Example being what people call soul mates. The connection of these individuals is said to be incredible from first sight, however, it doesn't increase with time, what increases with time is their physical awareness of each other. Awareness can include, movement, thoughts, desires and so forth. Basically soul mates get to know each other so well that they can physically know what each other is thinking and feeling. However, the mystical connection hasn't increased nor lessened. It has stay consistent. When the soul takes over the body, there is no stronger emotion that the one felt in total nirvana, it can never increase because it is at its plateau. You have met it, which means, once you have felt unconditional love, as in agapeo, there is no stronger love, there just is, you have bypassed they body and gone to the soul. For a 4 minute period your body stopped feeling and the music went straight into the soul, hence “nirvana”, total ecstasy, dance illumination, etc. The soul is omni present, an omni present blast of energy can not be felt any stronger than what it originally is, the feeling itself is a blast of energy felt by the soul and not the body. If the body and the mind were present then and only then can we speak in terms of measure, when the body is bypassed the ecstasy that my soul feels will be no greater than that you feel or that I will feel again. The only time this happens is when you’ve just tapped into the source for a few seconds and you haven’t given your body time to be in total dance meditation or trance.