Stupid things leads say at group lessons

WildE

WildE

Member
Yep...lol get this...first time dancing with this guy and his manners need an adjustment. During post lesson practice he decides to ask me to dance, quiries me what dances and I know, ignores my reply then proceeds to fling me into some random freestyle stuff I am supposed to magically acclimate to as a newbie then dips me. Then stops mid dance and asks me "how much do you weigh?" Just hand in your "man-card"...you never ask a lady how much she weighs! Wtf?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
First rule of dips: Follows, don't do a dip if a beginner leads it. Second rule of dips: Leads, don't dip a beginner follow, and it feels like she's going to do it on her own, try to stop her. Dips are one of those things, like lifts and Viennese waltz, that you only do if you understand what you are doing and you are confident that your partner understand what they are doing; otherwise someone could get hurt. There are only a few follows locally that I will do one with.
 
cornutt said:
First rule of dips: Follows, don't do a dip if a beginner leads it. Second rule of dips: Leads, don't dip a beginner follow, and it feels like she's going to do it on her own, try to stop her. Dips are one of those things, like lifts and Viennese waltz, that you only do if you understand what you are doing and you are confident that your partner understand what they are doing; otherwise someone could get hurt. There are only a few follows locally that I will do one with.
Click to expand...

I agree. except rule number 1 should be don't dip a follow (or go into a dip follows) unless you know the dancer. I don't care if you are a great dancer, you don't know me and I could know absolutely nothing about being dipped or holding my own during a dip, and I don't trust you enough to hold up your end of the deal during the dip. I have just refused to be led into a dip a few times, sometimes leaders just don't get the hint that you aren't going to dip for them...

Same goes with lifts, please keep my dang feet on the dang floor thank you very much.
 
Yes imagine my surprise when I find myself suddenly near parallel with the floor laying atop his thigh wondering if he is gonna drop me, bend my body into a perm pretzel or what on earth I am to be doing. Told him I had never been dipped before when upright and a bit later he does it again. Fun and scary at the same time. He seemed like he may have kinda known what he was doing and had done it before yet I didn't know his skills as never met him before. The second time he did it I was more trusting he wouldn't drop me yet being unknowing when a dip may happen and not knowing my responsibilities as a follower in a dip still made me nervous and feel like a klutz vs elegant. Moreover asking my weight though is NOT something a man should really ever ask a woman, let alone a stranger he just met at group class for the first time!
 
stash said:
I agree. except rule number 1 should be don't dip a follow (or go into a dip follows) unless you know the dancer. I don't care if you are a great dancer, you don't know me and I could know absolutely nothing about being dipped or holding my own during a dip, and I don't trust you enough to hold up your end of the deal during the dip. I have just refused to be led into a dip a few times, sometimes leaders just don't get the hint that you aren't going to dip for them...

Same goes with lifts, please keep my dang feet on the dang floor thank you very much.
Click to expand...
I would scream if someone tried to lift me...I can't afford an injury! I don't ever plan to do one!
 
stash said:
I agree. except rule number 1 should be don't dip a follow (or go into a dip follows) unless you know the dancer. I don't care if you are a great dancer, you don't know me and I could know absolutely nothing about being dipped or holding my own during a dip, and I don't trust you enough to hold up your end of the deal during the dip. I have just refused to be led into a dip a few times, sometimes leaders just don't get the hint that you aren't going to dip for them...

Same goes with lifts, please keep my dang feet on the dang floor thank you very much.
Click to expand...
Blindsided both times. Might have been a man ego/impress the girl move as he was very strong and an aggressive dancer. I like a strong lead if we are insync as I rarely feel like a dainty Cinderella in life at my height:) I am probably some sort of macho challenge/conquest as I am 6'2", curvy and all smiles on the dancefloor.
 
Eh. Strong leads become overrated after a while. And it's hard to tell the difference as newbie, but a clear lead is so much nicer than a strong lead. It really doesn't or shouldn't take much to move us from point a to b.

And the strong lead it just some leads thing. As a smaller girl there a leads that love to toss me around the dance floor. They don't get a second dance from me because I'm not some pretty rag doll that's there to be pulled around. I'm a person there to dance.
 
I actually like a strong lead, but typically it only works well when the man knows what he's doing or you end up being tossed around like a rag doll.

That being said, I'm not sure I can say the various things I've been told over the years at group classes on this board. NYC men are bold and many have no shame at all. The higher the level of class, typically the less likely I'll be told something sexual.
 
WildE said:
Yes imagine my surprise when I find myself suddenly near parallel with the floor laying atop his thigh wondering if he is gonna drop me, bend my body into a perm pretzel or what on earth I am to be doing. Told him I had never been dipped before when upright and a bit later he does it again. Fun and scary at the same time. He seemed like he may have kinda known what he was doing and had done it before yet I didn't know his skills as never met him before. The second time he did it I was more trusting he wouldn't drop me yet being unknowing when a dip may happen and not knowing my responsibilities as a follower in a dip still made me nervous and feel like a klutz vs elegant. Moreover asking my weight though is NOT something a man should really ever ask a woman, let alone a stranger he just met at group class for the first time!
Click to expand...

Wow! A "deep dip" (don't know the proper terminology), where the follow is down near the floor and being supported by the lead's leg, is something I would only ever do with my DW or instructor, and only if it was choreographed. In an "ordinary" dip, the follow is supporting her own weight; the lead is providing balance. I can't do deep dips any more because of an uncooperative knee.
 
I apologize for posting my vent. The weight question just shocked me and struck a raw nerve. I should just shut up and dance with every tall lead I stumble across and deal with whatever transpires. Sans the weight question and feeling lost not knowing how to read his lead I did enjoy dancing with him as a strong, confident, tall lead. Cant afford to step on toes in the dance community.
 
MaggieMoves said:
I actually like a strong lead, but typically it only works well when the man knows what he's doing or you end up being tossed around like a rag doll.

That being said, I'm not sure I can say the various things I've been told over the years at group classes on this board. NYC men are bold and many have no shame at all. The higher the level of class, typically the less likely I'll be told something sexual.
Click to expand...
Indeed the dating world or out in public I get a fair amount tall come-on's I cannot repeat here...no matter their station in life. Of course plenty of rude people make comments, quiries and quips about my height straight to my face or within hearing range. You would think I was a freak show circus act. I don't go around asking people how short they are or assume they play mini-golf;)
 
Ugh...and even if you know the dancer and she's fabulous, if she says "don't dip me," don't f'ing dip her.

And I always say, I don't want a strong lead. I want a clear lead. Strong leads are uncomfortable--I'm a hair trigger.
 
WildE said:
I apologize for posting my vent. The weight question just shocked me and struck a raw nerve. I should just shut up and dance with every tall lead I stumble across and deal with whatever transpires. Sans the weight question and feeling lost not knowing how to read his lead I did enjoy dancing with him as a strong, confident, tall lead. Cant afford to step on toes in the dance community.
Click to expand...


That's not what we are trying to say at all. If you enjoyed the dance besides the dips that's great. Everyone has their personal tastes. You aren't stepping on any toes at all. As a follow you have every right to want a great, injury free dance, that comes without anything that you don't want. Leads should be taught respect for that as well. We aren't condemning you in anyway. If anything that lead was in the wrong for dipping you at all in the first place.

And you have every right to vent. I vent every time a new lead tries to dip me, in the hopes that someone will teach their new leaders not to do it. And I know of some amazing teachers that do teach this. But sometimes, in the midst of teaching everything else, this gets slipped through the cracks.

In the mean time, just verbally tell this leader next time, I'm not so comfortable with dips yet. And if he still doesn't listen don't dance with him. There are plenty of fish in the social dance scene :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Dance Ads

Advertise on Dance Forums Reach dancers, teachers, studios, event organizers, and dance-friendly brands. View ad options
Back
Top