Stupid things leads say at group lessons

WildE said:
I apologize for posting my vent. The weight question just shocked me and struck a raw nerve. I should just shut up and dance with every tall lead I stumble across and deal with whatever transpires. Sans the weight question and feeling lost not knowing how to read his lead I did enjoy dancing with him as a strong, confident, tall lead. Cant afford to step on toes in the dance community.
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Don't apologize! If you were uncomfortable, that means it wasn't ok. Tall or not, 'good' dancer or not, you do not need to just shut up and deal. It is completely ok for you to directly say "I am not comfortable doing dips." No further explanation required... and if he does not respect that and tries to lead you into one, to take a step back and refuse to dip. I've been led into dips before by unfamiliar leads and refused to go - I'm there to have a good time, not to get hurt!

Being clear about your boundaries is not stepping on toes, it's protecting yourself.
 
FancyFeet said:
Don't apologize! If you were uncomfortable, that means it wasn't ok. Tall or not, 'good' dancer or not, you do not need to just shut up and deal. It is completely ok for you to directly say "I am not comfortable doing dips." No further explanation required... and if he does not respect that and tries to lead you into one, to take a step back and refuse to dip. I've been led into dips before by unfamiliar leads and refused to go - I'm there to have a good time, not to get hurt!

Being clear about your boundaries is not stepping on toes, it's protecting yourself.
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Agreed entirely! This coming from a friend of mine who really hurt her neck after an inexperienced lead suddenly dipped her. I think it's been bothering her for the better part of a month now.

When I had the shingles, there was no way in heck I was doing body contact with someone. That would have hurt.
 
Just want to be accepted, respected and encouraged on the dance floor and in the dance community. Overall instructors have said I am surprisingly smooth and a fast learner for only a months worth of effort. Most of the time I am persistent and accept the challenges by working harder. It was simply a rollercoaster day of dance that day. I didnt stay for the subsequent lesson as Iet my frustations get the best of me. Not going to let negative situations dissuade me from my goals. I have to be resilient as solo on this dance journey despite how much I would like to find consistent partner(s) to learn/practice with. The warrior in me will be back for tomorrow's lessons!
 
Asked your weight... Wow... Even uber Nerds know to not do that!

I'll bet most that comment on your height think they are complimenting you. BTW I saw a model in front of a Dodge Hellcat (700+ hp) at a car show. I'm inches taller than you, and she was inches taller than I am! I should have taken a picture with her! Clearly Dodge thought she was helping the sales (and FWIW I agree).
WildE said:
... I like a strong lead if we are insync as I rarely feel like a dainty Cinderella in life at my height:) I am probably some sort of macho challenge/conquest as I am 6'2", curvy and all smiles on the dancefloor.
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Hate to burst any bubbles, but asking a pretty lady to dance and her saying yes isn't much of a macho challenge/conquest. Even hug-adverse Tango Distance as a relative newbie (1 year) has had something like a 98% success rate. That's not surprising when women outnumber men.

Good technique can make you a dainty Cinderella. I have been amazed how "light" a good follow can feel (I do Tango, BTW) even if she is very overweight, but a petite beginner lady can feel heavy due to slow responses. The only time I find weight to be a real factor is in spins in Contra dancing -- some ladies that were likely 1.5 times my weight can spin with enough force my feet lose their grip!

Hang in there!
 
twnkltoz said:
Oh yeah...I am quite heavy, but I get compliments on how easy I am to lead, how light I am on my feet, etc.
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Same here... we must be soul sistahs. :D

snapdancer said:
Some of the heaviest follows I danced with were 90 lb little old ladies who'd never danced before.
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Obviously I don't lead anywhere near as often as the gentlemen here, but totally agree - I have found that weight is not correlated to following light/heavy.

cornutt said:
This is one thing I don't like about dancing with women who are extremely drunk -- inevitably, she's going to lean on you.
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And perpetually late/behind... I've lead a couple of drunk follows, it's a special challenge of its own.
 
Lol. Apparently I follow better when right at that point between tipsy and drunk, because it makes me relax and listen... and you know, actually follow!
 
FancyFeet said:
Lol. Apparently I follow better when right at that point between tipsy and drunk, because it makes me relax and listen... and you know, actually follow!
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I think there might be a happy median about my willingness to follow if I've had a bad day. Maybe about one drink or slightly more puts me in a much better mood for social dancing.

If I have a drink before I meet my pro or practice partner though? They'd kick my butt.
 
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