Switching coaches?

D

Dr Dance

Forum Master
I feel that my dancing has "flat lined" with my current instructor. I am definitely moving on. But I want to preserve her integrity as much as possible. I want to split amicably with no resentments.

Instructors: How would you prefer to be approached about being fired? What can I as a student do to make this as painless as possible? Is there a way to fire her, but keep her as a "dancing friend?"
 
Walk into your next lesson with a security guard in tow, tell your instructor she is fired, security will escort her off the premises, and her belongings will be shipped to her residence in 30 days, after a thorough search... I think that's how it says to do it in the grey book. :bookworm:
 
Also, recognize that no matter how tactfully you handle the conversation, the other side might still not handle it in the desired mature fashion. And ultimately, that's their issue to fix, not yours to fret about (without knowing your current teacher, I have no idea how likely that is, but hearing you're not what a student needs right now is probably not easy for any teacher no matter how true).
 
One piece of outstanding advice that I got from the preceding threads was not to telegraph my intent to "move on" by telling others that I want to quit my teacher. (She is independent, not a studio staffer.) I suppose that it would be quite irritating to her if she heard it from another source. This process will be painful enough as it is. I am going to break the news myself after my remaining few prepaid lessons are concluded.

Another great piece of advice was not to hire the next teacher until I am "finished" with my current one. This will help stave off any jealousy or fears of encroachment from the breakee. My new prospect has no idea that she is under consideration. Nor will she be aware of my intent until after I quit the current teacher. Both the new prospect and the old teacher work independently at the same studio. (But I plan to have my lessons with "new gal" at another studio.)

Still another great comment was for me not to backbite the breakee. That would merely lower everyone's opinion of me. Although some people love gossip, they generally don't care for the gossipers. I plan to be at least respectful if not complimentary about the soon to be fired instructor. And why not? Although she and I aren't working out, she has many things in her favor that may benefit other students.

My goal is to be open and honest with Ms Breakee without compromising her integrity. Wish me luck.
 
Last edited:
This is all weird. The way it's worded, I'm not worried about her integrity, at all.

First of all, 'firing' is kind of an unusual word to use. I have never 'fired' an instructor- I've just simply 'went from one to another' once when I hit a wall I couldn't get around in the forseeable future (spoiler alert- it was a basic conflict of regular scheduling). It was amicable, because there was absolutely NO reason it wouldn't be. Nobody asked, nobody cared. Don't make something weird that isn't weird. Just say "I want to try another instructor for awhile, but I appreciate how far you've gotten me" and go do your thing. You don't even really 'owe' her that much, but it's a nice courtesy so that she doesn't walk into the studio one afternoon and there you are with someone else, unexpectedly. Here, take these: (OO) They are +5 courage and fortitude.
 
Dr Dance said:
I do not want this to appear to be personal. That could mean a lawsuit you know!
Click to expand...

That's....not in response to me, right? The two definitions I found for "integrity" were, roughly: 1) moral uprightness 2) the state of being whole. I can't foresee a way you saying, "hey, I don't intend to continue taking lessons with you, I've decided to take from a different instructor to further my dancing" would in any way compromise either of those things for another human being. You could compromise or momentarily suspend your *own* integrity, of course, by making up reasons rather than being honest.

I'm also with Hedwaite, 'firing' is a bit odd as a word choice.
 
She deserves a chance to "save face." Proper behavior by me will allow that. Perhaps "integrity" wasn't my best choice of words.
 
By all mean, be kind and considerate. It's the thing to do both to avoid burning bridges and because it's the decent thing to do. But don't make mountains out of molehills either. Changing instructors doesn't have to be a Big Deal, and if an instructor is professional, they understand that sometimes students move on.
 
I have a question and I hope no one thinks it's obnoxious, because it's certainly not meant to be obnoxious.

When my first teacher left the studio to pursue different projects that were interesting him, I didn't take it personally. In fact, I bought him a bottle of champagne to wish him luck. So I'm not quite understanding why when the student is ready to move on, it would be such a big "to do" to move on to another teacher if the student isn't progressing or is ready to do something different?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Dance Ads

Advertise on Dance Forums Reach dancers, teachers, studios, event organizers, and dance-friendly brands. View ad options
Back
Top