Switching coaches?

I fully understand this conversation. While I know it is our own money and own decision when switching instructors I had concerns over the effect my decision would have on instructor. I kept the conversation very brief because the less you say the less the instructor has to question your decision. My decision was very firm, I was certain I was making a good decision so that made the conversation easier...not easy just easier. In my case, having standing lessons the conversation was necessary. While this relationship is not a friendship but a professional arrangement still like anything else, compassion is still there. How much compassion really depends on each students own personality.

In my case the instructor has lost a few long term students before me. Prior, I was thinking that it was time for me to switch instructors and when I saw another long term student switch it did prompt me to think further on it and eventually make the change. With this concern in mind I chose to switch studios rather than the switch instructors at the same studio. Of course I live in a state when studios are plentiful so it was easy to do.

BTW, the professional relationship stayed intact and when I run into prior instructor at comps it is not uncomfortable.
 
fascination said:
right...every situation is different but it is definitely best when it is an unambiguous clean break done in person with as little explanation possible/necessary in a cordial and respectful tone....
Click to expand...

Words I wish I had heard before breaking off a partnership in college. *might* have saved an arseload of drama, although probably not.
 
I think "little chat" has a negative tone and sounds a bit condescending (actually everything Dancebug highlighted sounds condescending.) It's not a huge thing, it doesn't require a ton of build-up or a rundown of how "it's not you, it's me". Just keep it brief, nothing against her but it's time for a change and you're moving on.
 
I think more people are finding it creepy, they just aren't saying anything about it. I can think of other ways to describe it: patronizing, awkward, self-important, chauvinistic...

If it helps, it isn't just this particular thread which raises red flags for me. These do, too, when you kind of glance over the tone of all of them:

http://www.dance-forums.com/threads/best-and-worst-dance-snubs-when-you-ask-a-lady-to-dance.44249/

http://www.dance-forums.com/threads...my-pro-partner-who-gave-me-a-bad-dance.44873/

It clarifies a few things now.
 
certainly folks are entitled to take whatever perspective they wish...I am not really interested in taking a poll...or assembling a case....just stating my perspective and my preference to gives folks the benefit of the doubt....I am completely aware that I may be wrong...it happens :)
 
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People have a right to read into my comments whatever they believe. Doesn't make it correct. I am feeling "a bit attacked here." I realize that this is the risk for posting personal issues on a public forum despite not including specifics. There are trolls everywhere... even here. Rather than taking my comments at face value, some posters here seem to be "witch hunting" or trying to read bad motives where none exist. Rather than discussing the general issue of moving on, some prefer to foster conflict over false interpretation. They will even pursue this by documenting my previous threads to make "their case" when there is really none to make. Is this what DF has become? A haven for name calling and rampant negativity? I thought that I left this kind of behavior behind when I graduated from elementary school.

I prefer to take "the high road." Let's keep this forum upbeat and informative. Please save the trolling for "the kiddie boards."
 
I think it is all in choice of words used. It sounds to me like the OP is trying to be "thoughtful" and is dealing with a situation that certainly brings out some emotions based on being acquainted with their instructor for a long time. I can recall being in similar situations in the past, and it is good to share and talk about things! :)
 
If multiple people are reacting to your words the same way, odds are the problem isn't them. Instead of getting defensive, consider how you're sounding.

And seriously, it's part of the job. Tell her you're not buying another package because you feel it's time to move on and move on. No one else is going to care or in all likelihood assume it's a problem with her as a teacher unless YOU go around acting like it is and giving that impression, which you appear not to want to do.
 
Wouldn't it be ironic if she is planning her own "little chat" - to tell Dr Dance that as he's nearing the end of his current package, she thinks it might be really good for him to try out some different instructors?
 
guys...let's de-escalate....folks have said their piece...some folks think op is creepy, some folks think op is simply not particularly eloquent....op feels attacked, op's detractors don't appreciate being negatively characterized...enough said along those lines...if it can't be said in a respectful tone and you must carry on, you can do that via p.m....I will be deleting anything that continues to devolve into further personally disparaging remarks.....
 
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