Of course, that's logical! How much easier is it when you have a partner in real life who also dances (tango). Many dancers in my community were absent for up to 8 years simply because their partner didn't dance. Such relationships are doomed to fail. Non-dancers usually cannot accept that their partners are acting autonomously.
Not necessarily. We all know women with non-dancing partners. If they don’t feel they can allow themselves to pursue their passion without fear of a mistrusting partner, THAT nagging feeling of sacrifice would be more a strain in a relationship than the actual mistrust, IMO.
An observation related to this: many women in child bearing age with their biological clock ticking try so hard to find a partner, just when the guys often go through a phase of commitment fear. And then when the women reach an age where they might be just fine on their own, eligible guys might realize they finally are ready to settle. Obviously there are plenty of exceptions, but it’s a pattern I see repeatedly.
The way it is marketed in Portland is a bit more aggressively sexy, but in the other towns it is not ( the hot springs retreats for example are probably less hookup and more dance ). I think for fusion there are just two organizers that try to equate the dance with sex. There is also a bit of overlap with the polyamory and LGBTQ community where people who go are a bit more liberal and having a rope bondage class before the class is normal. But it doesn’t mean everyone there is going for all that and there are also non sexual community events like tea parties and potlucks and such. But overall if I was younger and single or queer that scene would feel more dating friendly to me.
Dance just becomes a smaller part of life together. My wife doesn’t dance. She hates the crowded environment and loud music. I don’t treat the years that we spent while our kids were young or traveling or at the early parts of our marriage where we went out dancing maybe four times total as a failed or doomed relationship. Going to dance classes and milongas and practicas is just something I do the same way she goes on long walks or visits her mother that I don’t participate in.
Following also tends to be a bit more forgiving to learn at the beginning. A guy in my class has tried to learn for a few decades as his wife is a great tango dancer and finally committed to learning as part of his “when I retire in three years we can travel and dance” plan. They are at different levels and she is super popular. He is still even afraid to ask someone to dance. So I would see him at a milonga maybe three times in a year but he is committed and comes to all the classes. So even with a dancing partner things like childcare, schedules and commitments can easily get in the way.
Doesn’t that go without saying ?
I wonder why that would be pre-requisite. A good dancer can appear physically more attractive than if you meet him/her on a street.
In our scene in my experience had been people are rather discreet about it. You only know after months that some dancers have got into relationship. Sometimes the friends too are told after a couple of months. The breakups are also very discreet.
My comment you quoted wasn’t specific to Tango. I was talking about all social dances.
I would not expect anything less from the fusion folks
I don’t dance fusion. A few folks who I know that do are very bohemian and sort of stuff you mentioned. But that’s a very small sample size. A few times I have been to fusion, people are too friendly.
But that's possible too. In my circle of acquaintances, there are many dancers (both male and female) who team up with other dancers without necessarily sharing the bed.
It's not the envy for the emotional connection at the moment of the dance, rather the shared experience of watching couples enjoying that together. Like when you take a cruise or visit a new city together and think back to those moments years later. With partners that dance you can think back to things and places like oh yeah that summer outdoor dance event where I dipped you in the water, with a non dancing partner you kinda keep those moments to yourself or do it to friends and strangers.
Dear diary,