Tango obsession/addiction

[Gssh]

Of course, if it leads you to leave your spouse, sell your furniture, quit your job, and use your home as a dance studio, and spend all your savings on instruction that points to an obsession that is self-destructive. But I've never met anyone like that.

I know at least six if "accepting the end of your relationship, quit/reduce your career, downsize your home, and spend all your income on instruction and tango travel, and trying to create and live of some kind of tango related income stream (selling tango supplies, doing tango tailoring, tango teaching, tango organizing, tango art, tango anything)" is sufficient. And if i count traveling teachers i have met dozens.

So, yes, I think there a quite a few people who structure their life around tango, but i really don't think tango is all that special and unique in that respect.
How well their personal investments scale with their achievements in the field, and if it is healthy are very different question, but i would argue that tango is not worse than other folkloric/historical arts and crafts.

 

[ArbeeNYC]

I know at least six if "accepting the end of your relationship, quit/reduce your career, downsize your home, and spend all your income on instruction and tango travel, and trying to create and live of some kind of tango related income stream (selling tango supplies, doing tango tailoring, tango teaching, tango organizing, tango art, tango anything)" is sufficient. And if i count traveling teachers i have met dozens.

So, yes, I think there a quite a few people who structure their life around tango, but i really don't think tango is all that special and unique in that respect.
How well their personal investments scale with their achievements in the field, and if it is healthy are very different question, but i would argue that tango is not worse than other folkloric/historical arts and crafts.

Interesting. I don't know. Most of the traveling teachers seem to have other jobs in addition to teaching or, at least, other sources of income. It's tough to make a real living teaching tango alone. Many hosts/organizers do as well. I've never known anyone who has dived head first into an arts-and-crafts endeavor with such commitment. Usually, it's a sideline or hobby. But you never know, there's always someone who wants to go all-in.

 

[opendoor]

...accepting the end of your relationship, quit/reduce your career, downsize your home, and spend all your income on instruction and tango travel, and trying to create and live of some kind of tango related income stream (selling tango supplies, doing tango tailoring, tango teaching, tango organizing, tango art, tango anything)"...

It must not stick to that "tango anything". There can be other ways to a profession in dance. I for one overcame tango and stated a course in general dance education.

 

[Miradamiranda]

Addiction or escape… loaded words meaning different things for different people. Well, I just had a very busy week that was rather stressful in terms of time management and pressure, but also had coincidentally more tango than usual for me. The more stressed i was, the more I felt the need to go dance as a stress relief. A friend told me just today that wow it’s a real addiction for [me]. No, I see it as a purposefully sought-after method to relieve some steam and reliably bring back real pleasure into my life when other aspects of my life are not pleasurable. So in that sense, it can serve as escapism. In fact, Friday I had a bad day. I get home exhausted and pass out on the couch and was about to call off my evening milonga plans (especially after some very satisfying tango evenings already this week) but still, I make a mad dash for the next bus to go to my happy place. The first person I see - a top favorite partner - I tell about my frustration from the day and I get it out of my system. The rest of the evening I have many wonderful tandas and have completely forgotten about my day until I’m on my way home. So in that respect it served as escapism for me.

(BTW, shoutout to @itwillhappen who had a lot to do with those wonderful tango evenings I had earlier in the week. Many dream tandas were had.)

 

[Gssh]

Most of the traveling teachers seem to have other jobs in addition to teaching or, at least, other sources of income. It's tough to make a real living teaching tango alone. Many hosts/organizers do as well. I've never known anyone who has dived head first into an arts-and-crafts endeavor with such commitment. Usually, it's a sideline or hobby. But you never know, there's always someone who wants to go all-in.

That is not a contradiction. Having a serious sideline that requires either frequent travel or long stretches of vacation like the tango teaching or performance circuit or taking summers off to do a thru-hike or to take intensives at some yoga retreat limits what kind of career you can have, and it is a conscious decision to make this trade-off. I think the people who sacrifice most are not the ones who are somehow able to make tango a full time career, but the ones who don't take job opportunities because they are in the wrong cities, or that require being on call, or unpredictable business travel or work hours. Its not the tony award winners who wait tables.

 

[ArbeeNYC]

it is a conscious decision to make this trade-off.

Well, artists do it all the time, right? There's really no other way. One of the reasons you used to find so many actors (actual or potential) working in restaurants or bars. I did similar things when I was young for my own art. But you can't keep it up for long, certainly not in today's current economic climate and given the cost of living in the US and Europe. I admire those who do but it doesn't look easy.

 

[Miradamiranda]

Well, artists do it all the time, right?

I think there’s mainly a difference in perception. The hustle of an artist trying to ‘make it’ while dealing with time consuming and badly paid day-jobs is one thing, and sadly accepted as normal because there is inadequate arts funding, but people ‘frivously’ throwing away established careers and good income to follow their tango obsession is different for most people to understand.

 

[JournalInTime]

I think there’s mainly a difference in perception. The hustle of an artist trying to ‘make it’ while dealing with time consuming and badly paid day-jobs is one thing, and sadly accepted as normal because there is inadequate arts funding, but people ‘frivously’ throwing away established careers and good income to follow their tango obsession is different for most people to understand.

Exactly!

I'm (over)educated as a theoretical particle physicist, but the hostile departmental politics surrounding my research supervisor's sudden death in 1995, coupled with the 1-in-300 odds of obtaining tenure in my field at the time, led me to leap at an opportunity to write in a completely unrelated domain. My art didn't pay well at the start . . . it was simply preferable to "starving student." Today it pays somewhat better, though not handsomely – but I'd never give it up for "starving tango dancer"!

Don't get me wrong, I love tango more than I ever liked physics or writing. I would far, far rather earn my living in tango than doing what I do for a living. As I have admitted, tango is close to an obsession for me. Despite all of which, I would not exchange my current art – which is now 29 years established – for tango. Both might be art of sorts, but "Nearly 57-year-old man ditches 29-year career as writer to try to make it in dance after 11 years of social tango" would be self-evidently absurd, and thus difficult to understand.

It might be different if I inherited a fortune, won the lottery, or was adopted by a wealthy matron in search of a pet tanguero . . . but expecting any of those would be equally absurd and difficult to understand.

 

[Miradamiranda]

Exactly!

I'm (over)educated as a theoretical particle physicist, but the hostile departmental politics surrounding my research supervisor's sudden death in 1995, coupled with the 1-in-300 odds of obtaining tenure in my field at the time, led me to leap at an opportunity to write in a completely unrelated domain. My art didn't pay well at the start . . . it was simply preferable to "starving student." Today it pays somewhat better, though not handsomely – but I'd never give it up for "starving tango dancer"!

Don't get me wrong, I love tango more than I ever liked physics or writing. I would far, far rather earn my living in tango than doing what I do for a living. As I have admitted, tango is close to an obsession for me. Despite all of which, I would not exchange my current art – which is now 29 years established – for tango. Both might be art of sorts, but "Nearly 57-year-old man ditches 29-year career as writer to try to make it in dance after 11 years of social tango" would be self-evidently absurd, and thus difficult to understand.

It might be different if I inherited a fortune, won the lottery, or was adopted by a wealthy matron in search of a pet tanguero . . . but expecting any of those would be equally absurd and difficult to understand.

I can relate a lot more than you’d think. Boy, do I know what it feels like being over educated and underpaid and giving up a 20year academic career to pursue art - and also not for tango. Tango is the thing that keeps me sane. I would not want to let tango step over the line from fun to something professional. ……But ‘pet tanguero’ is definitely an interesting concept

 

[ArbeeNYC]

I think there’s mainly a difference in perception. The hustle of an artist trying to ‘make it’ while dealing with time consuming and badly paid day-jobs is one thing, and sadly accepted as normal because there is inadequate arts funding, but people ‘frivously’ throwing away established careers and good income to follow their tango obsession is different for most people to understand.

Oh, true. Although above I was specifically referring to professionals in the tango environment--teachers, dancers, organizers. People who want to make it a full-time avocation.

 

[itwillhappen]

I know at least six if "accepting the end of your relationship, quit/reduce your career, downsize your home, and spend all your income on instruction and tango travel, and trying to create and live of some kind of tango related income stream (selling tango supplies, doing tango tailoring, tango teaching, tango organizing, tango art, tango anything)" is sufficient. And if i count traveling teachers i have met dozens.

One criterion for an addiction is whether everyday life is seriously affected.
Well, with many relationships it is difficult to predict whether the end will be an improvement or a deterioration.
And as far as employment is concerned - sure - but if someone gives up their job and goes on a trip around the world for a longer time, you don't necessarily speak of a "travel addiction".

 

[JournalInTime]

Well, with many relationships it is difficult to predict whether the end will be an improvement or a deterioration.

Very true.

My marriage had problems. Tango spot-lit the problems. The problems came to a head when – after a tango practice – my ex accused me of having an affair with my practice partner. When my marriage ended, tango was there for me to keep me from feeling insane. My new relationship was with a tanguera.

Without tango, I'd have missed the problems for longer. They would have come to a head out of nowhere – when someone decides to make s*** up, they find their storyline where they look. When my marriage ended, I wouldn't have had tango to fill the space , and I wouldn't have had an easy way to meet people, because I work from a desk at home. In brief, I'd have lived with problems for longer, been blindsided by them, and ended up depressed and alone.

The end of that relationship was definitely an improvement. Tango helped in many ways. The only harm it did was provide an easy basis to accuse me of an affair (laughable, at this distance in time, given that I'm neither romantically adventurous nor a hot item with a lineup of women at my door, but a socially awkward dork).

The truth didn't stop people inside and outside tango from blaming tango for everything, and calling me a tango addict. Tango people gave me the "Tango is a bad place to look for love!" talk. Outsiders gave me the "That's what you get for dancing such a sexually charged dance!" talk. A bunch of rubbish, but most people don't let the truth get in the way of a good narrative.

 

[itwillhappen]

I often wonder why couples hang padlocks with their names engraved on bridge railings as a symbol of their love.

Not only does it on a large scale endanger the statics of the bridge, but it also shows a fundamental lack of understanding of relationships and its statistics.

 

[Bailango]

I often wonder why couples hang padlocks with their names engraved on bridge railings as a symbol of their love.

Not only does it on a large scale endanger the statics of the bridge, but it also shows a fundamental lack of understanding of relationships and its statistics.

Are you asking a logical explanation for an irrational emotional act?

 

[opendoor]

I often wonder why couples hang padlocks with their names engraved on bridge railings as a symbol of their love...

Loyalty is too much for some people. Perhaps it is a great relief if you can force loyalty into heavy steel. There it can grow old, while the person who initiated the ritual is freed from all negative aspects and obligations. Somehow the chances of an affair at a party also increase if the person is wearing a wedding ring.