Tango plateau - been there? how handled it?

[ardix]

A couple a weeks ago I got a call from a tanguera friend in need of advise/support. She has been dancing for a while then took a rather long (more than 5 years) break from tango. I have reintroduced her to tango one year ago, when passing though her (tango active) city. She has been taking classes and dancing socially since then, on a weekly basis. Yet, lately, she cannot find the motivation to go out and dance, especially at milongas. She has reached some sort of 'tango plateu'. I must confess that I am there myself, from time to time - it's like tango is not enticing anymore. Is this your experience as well? And if so, how do you handle it?

 

[itwillhappen]

Yet, lately, she cannot find the motivation to go out and dance, especially at milongas. She has reached some sort of 'tango plateu'.

But is there need for action at all? Is she unhappy? If so, about what?
If tango is no longer enticing, she could look for something else...

 

[ardix]

But is there need for action at all? Is she unhappy? If so, about what?
If tango is no longer enticing, she could look for something else...

Yes, she is sad about loosing it because it used to give her joy and she likes dancing tango...she was also wondering if this can be 'normal' ie most tanguer@s experiencing it from time to time, maybe even preceeding a new development stage.

 

[Brummbaer]

And if so, how do you handle it?

Decide what you want to achieve, and what's enjoyable, and work for it. And when you reach there, what's next? Maybe you need to enjoy the 'plateau'.

If what you're being offered isn't satisfying, look elsewhere. But be aware that sometimes you need to learn some aspect, or something else, before you can move on. This is where you need a 'coach' rather than a 'teacher'. Sometimes you just need an alternative approach.

 

[pianistamediano]

Yes, she is sad about loosing it because it used to give her joy and she likes dancing tango...she was also wondering if this can be 'normal' ie most tanguer@s experiencing it from time to time, maybe even preceeding a new development stage.

It's definitely very, very normal — as with any other discipline, the rate of improvement is not constant and fluctuates a lot. This is the same for enjoyment, for which a plateau often occurs when things have been the same for too long.

If it's about her own dance, well, there's always something that can be improved (and that something is easy to find). Is she happy where her dance currently is at? Does she feel a want/need to improve? Posture, walking, balance, fluidity, adornos, dissociation, musicality, et cetera.

If it's about enjoyment, has she tried traveling to an event, or even another locale's milongas? Maybe she's bored of dancing with the same old leaders. Maybe she just isn't getting enough of the dances she wants.

I hesitate to suggest taking up leading, but that's an option too if she really, really can't find any way to get over the plateau and still wants to stay in tango.

Taking a break for a few weeks is the easiest way to reignite the desire to go to milongas. After I came back from my two-week break over a month ago, I decided to go to less milongas (now 2-3 times a week, down from 4/5), and I'm honestly much happier and haven't hit a tango plateau since the last one two months ago. I would personally consider myself unhealthy if I couldn't stay away from tango for a period of time and if I didn't have other activities to replace tango.

If you could provide more details about her situation, we can definitely give more specific advice.

 

[opendoor]

You don't just keep dancing out of inertia. There has to be a benefit. Without a benefit, a hobby doesn't make sense, ardix.

 

[Reuven Thetanguero]

A couple a weeks ago I got a call from a tanguera friend in need of advise/support. She has been dancing for a while then took a rather long (more than 5 years) break from tango. I have reintroduced her to tango one year ago, when passing though her (tango active) city. She has been taking classes and dancing socially since then, on a weekly basis. Yet, lately, she cannot find the motivation to go out and dance, especially at milongas. She has reached some sort of 'tango plateu'. I must confess that I am there myself, from time to time - it's like tango is not enticing anymore. Is this your experience as well? And if so, how do you handle it?

This phenomenon is not strictly in Tango. It manifests itself in many things in life. We get excited, exhilarated, over doing it and then... burned out.
To get to the point she wants to be is first to understand yourself and how you psyche works. Never force yourself to do anything. Just go slowly and see what feels good and right. If it's meant to be, it will come back.

 

[JournalInTime]

Thing is, people expect tango skill and/or satisfaction to work like the blue graph. Reality looks a lot more like the green one, with periods of increase and decrease, at random speeds, punctuated with plateaus. The specifics depend on the person, but I don't think anybody who has been in tango for long believes in the blue graph . . . and I think everybody has skill and satisfaction plateaus and even losses, though the overall trend is upward.

 

[Rabbit]

I must confess that I am there myself, from time to time - it's like tango is not enticing anymore. Is this your experience as well? And if so, how do you handle it?

what do you feel is missing, if anything specific?

I actually don't feel I ever plateaued anywhere, i just transitioned to dancing on levels beyond the steps/technique and developing my own ideas

 

[Naddrin Kentlar]

Thing is, people expect tango skill and/or satisfaction to work like the blue graph. Reality looks a lot more like the green one, with periods of increase and decrease, at random speeds, punctuated with plateaus. The specifics depend on the person, but I don't think anybody who has been in tango for long believes in the blue graph . . . and I think everybody has skill and satisfaction plateaus and even losses, though the overall trend is upward.

View attachment 5958

Funny graph It matches my experience in weird ways as recently I've reached a personal top level goal, something I've been estimating it to take 5 years, yet it seems it took 6 years to achieve (graph matches.

 

[opendoor]

..don't feel I ever plateaued anywhere, i just transitioned to dancing on levels beyond the steps/technique and developing my own ideas

You reduce it to the technical side, doesn't Ardix's girlfriend have more of a motivational problem?

It's not a plateau at all.

What if someone doesn't want to develop "own ideas" on the dance floor anymore? What if someone can't stand to see people being affectionate on the dance floor for 10 minutes? What if someone no longer wants to put energy into looking for a dance partner?

 

[ardix]

Thing is, people expect tango skill and/or satisfaction to work like the blue graph. Reality looks a lot more like the green one, with periods of increase and decrease, at random speeds, punctuated with plateaus. The specifics depend on the person, but I don't think anybody who has been in tango for long believes in the blue graph . . . and I think everybody has skill and satisfaction plateaus and even losses, though the overall trend is upward.

View attachment 5958

Couldn't agree more....but still struggling to see the green graph

 

[itwillhappen]

It can get boring or nerve-wracking at times, practicing this or that and dancing around in circles with more or less the same people.
One possibility would be to join an organization team. Another way to combine tango and travel.

 

[Bailango]

What if someone doesn't want to develop "own ideas" on the dance floor anymore? What if someone can't stand to see people being affectionate on the dance floor for 10 minutes? What if someone no longer wants to put energy into looking for a dance partner?

View attachment 5961

That sounds and looks more like a clinical depression Time to seek help.

 

[Bailango]

.but still struggling to see the green graph

See the red one?