[Clearly I'm saying all of this to myself, in response to the current discussion - hence the lecturing tone: I hope that someone else might get something useful out of it too....
]
I'm struggling with this one myself - but the problem here seems to be the usual one of either/or (in all situations) eroding meaning.
Different problems/contexts require different tools (personae/approaches/mindsets etc); so there's three problems/contexts here:-
1 Mastering the learning of the artform (TA);
2 Carrying out the art (the social dance itself);
3 The ancillary 'stuff' surrounding the dance itself.
The tools being discussed are pretty much archetypes:-
i The 'Superman' (striving for excellence, following your own compass, living dangerously, mastering yourself etc);
ii The 'Ultimate Man' ('ultimate' meaning only 'final' in classical German - not 'best' as in English: mediocre, safe, docile, obedient, non-self-examining etc);
To which I would add:-
iii The Taoist 'Immortal' (totally in tune/harmony with the 'self'/surrounding context, non-attached to specific outcomes, going with the flow etc).
'Ultimate Man' can never achieve excellence (unless phenomenally naturally-gifted): so he has no place on the dancefloor (if excellence, rather than light-hearted fun, is desired)... but he's useful when not dancing, since he will be a non-alarming 'one of us' amongst the majority of other 'Ultimate Men' chatting small-talk and whatnot in the milonga.
"The strong have always needed to be protected from the weak", but no-one ever does this (except where high status is involved), so they must protect themselves - this persona ('Ultimate Man') does this. This isn't snobbishness: it is proactive self-defence - most 'decent, ordinary people' are relentlessly savage and dangerous the moment they are in a pack and sense an otherness (such as decency or a desire for excellence) that they can exploit/attack from complete safety ('Banality of Evil [doers]' and all that...)... put your sheep's clothing on and you'll be safer - just make sure that you don't seem too 'nice' (this is like putting your face in the scorpions' nest).
Of course, what you're really being is an 'Immortal' pretending to be an 'Ultimate Man' - just be dilligent, and make sure you don't slip up: allow no chink of excellence, nobility or enlightenment to shine through the appearance of mediocrity. Also keep in mind that mediocrity is never static: the standard must keep on ever-lowering, so you have to keep on going with that flow (until the pendulum has to swing back up... eventually...).
Amongst the milonga-'elites' (or if you are
sure that you are considered to have high status: ie the 'Ultimate Men' will want to naturally defer to you), either of the other two personae will be more useful, according to their personae ('Superman' for snobs, 'Immortal' for the both talented and good-as-people ones): but be mindful that many apparent-not-'Ultimate-Men'
really are! They're the
very dangerous ones (especially the ones who pretend to be good-as-people... and actually believe that they are)!
'Superman' is best for mastering the art, since you'll need to step beyond the safe and familiar, challenge and break rules etc. If you also have a 'Superman' DP then lucky you - if not, then this is what you do on your own, being careful about what you apply and when and with whom on the floor. It is an approach of Power: some partners will be scared, some (most?) will want to bring the 'high and mighty' crashing down broken (unless 'he' has high status), some will find this exciting etc. Only use on the dancefloor where you're 'sure' of your partner's reaction.
'Immortal' is best for the dance itself (barring a masochistic partner), since it involves empathy/being non-judgemental, and supreme-adaptability with no attachment to preferences (so you can have a not-second-best dance, regardless of partner's choice of embrace, 'style', music-type etc). Flow like water, bend like saplings, be an empty vessel etc etc. Pure TA!
Glide over the floor as 'one not stained by earthly dust'.
Honour is also very intrinsic to this path/persona, and there is (or should be) an unspoken but sacred contract between the partners (and fellow couples), which has to be honourably abided by completely. Since it is a useful honour it will be respected in that tiny 'otherworld' that is the dance - though honour will be furiously attacked/punished/exploited by the 'Ultimate Men' back in the 'macroworld' if you try to show that quality there (even when it's completely against their interests to do so: the programming is too deep...
).
)
