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I'm not disagreeing with what you are saying Samina - but that's an issue to be dealt with after she's learnt to isolate her arms from the rhythm she feels in her body.
Nothing much can been done if she's randomly pushing and pulling her arms trying to keep time with the music. That's got to be fixed first before you can attempt developing any kind of connection.
For closed position I tell the guys be the perverts that they are... pull the girl in close. But I tell the girls not to be easy... push the guy away. That naturally creates a tension between them that automatically creates a decent connection, for closed position dancing.
I don't know. In my experience girls that have noodly arms when they first learn to dance have a hard time picking up good tone later on. I can't tell you how many girls I see in the advanced class with noodly arms. They just can't learn, no matter how often the teachers explain it to them.My instinct upon reading this - the deliberate pulling from the guy and the pushing from the girl - is that this would create a very unnatural tension. I believe the proper tension and push/pull is very subtle (at least from the perspective of a beginner). Consciously making an effort to do this would, I think, make most beginners overdo it to the point that they are difficult to dance with. I find that it is better to err on the side of being softer and more pliable and gradually adding in more tension as required.
I don't know. In my experience girls that have noodly arms when they first learn to dance have a hard time picking up good tone later on. I can't tell you how many girls I see in the advanced class with noodly arms. They just can't learn, no matter how often the teachers explain it to them.
I feel the opposite of you actually. I feel that it's better to be a smidge too stiff. At least they can feel the lead then. And eventually they will get tired and start to soften up anyway, then they will discover what a proper frame feels like. As to them hurting you, most of the girls that hurt me do it because they jerk their arms. They go soft and then they PULL. They do that because they can't feel the lead and they learned to dance with guys who lead with a lot of strength. They're usually intermediate level too. Beginning girls don't reallly hurt me. I don't do crazy moves that will result in them jerking me around.
All of that said, I do agree that it should be a subtle tension. The "be a pervert" and "don't be easy" thing is just a way to make a joke out of the whole thing. Makes it memorable and easy to understand.
I immediately had flashbacks to leaders who left me with the desire to see a massage therapist.![]()