The Case of the Invisible Follower

TTanguero said:
I will eventually piece together enough clues to be able to recognise someone after meeting them anywhere between half a dozen times in relatively quick succession or about a dozen times over a longer time period. But it is very common for me not to recognize a follower's face, and I have no idea whether we've danced before until we enter the embrace. On many occasions, I will recognise her embrace, even though I didn't recognise her face.
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I realized I'm making the assumption I'm the odd man out. How about others, can you ID someone from embrace/dance like TTanguero?

Random thought, maybe since I'm good at faces, I haven't evolved other ways for ID, and vice versa for TT? That, and in terms of my lifetime of not much hug practice (I get as much hug time now in a Milonga as I might have had in a year before, romantic partners excepted.). This Tango hug-a-palooza is new territory.

Little case in point: I was recently in a beginner class. My partner seemed to be moving towards close embrace, the gap between us was gradually growing smaller. Hmmm, most beginner classes are open embrace, and she is obviously new and maybe making a mistake. I also wanted to be super careful, not all tango newbies want close embrace (not that I would know anything about that Not Touchy Feely). I had to ask if she wanted close embrace, to which she enthusiastically said yes. Sparked by what to look for, I then started noticing the whole class was doing close embrace. The Distance still has some vestiges of hug uh, not sure the right word, blitheness? BTW, this lady and the other students were super nice to me, including a very experienced tanguera who helped me with the fine points of the lesson. Even a tango SBSS waiting for the next lesson gave me a big smile.
 
Tango Distance said:
can you ID someone from embrace/dance like TTanguero?
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Don't think it's a good long-term plan to say you can recognise someone of a sex of interest by their embraceo_O. It's not going to work out well with a long-term partner (whose embrace do you really prefer?), or any, or all, of the others. (But, and without doing a blind test, some).
 
Tango Distance said:
...can you ID someone from embrace/dance like TTanguero?
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I asked this exact question to the experienced followers in my city when I had been dancing for about two years. However, the physical or embrace-related peculiarities didn't play a particular role. Olfactory characteristics (e.g., his smell reminds me of my grandmother's closet), stereotypical vocabulary, and musicality served as the main guide for blindfolded identification. As a beginner, it was a huge relief for me to see how tolerant the ladies were.
Tango Distance said:
..since I'm good at faces, I haven't evolved other ways for ID..
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I think the channels complement each other. Because once I've got a follower in my arms, it's too late. I'd hate to send them back to their table.
 
Brummbaer said:
.... It's not going to work out well with a long-term partner (whose embrace do you really prefer?)..
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Sorry, I don't understand that sentence. You don't have a long-term dance partner because of the embrace. It serves to signal reliability and sociability to the community. You also choose such partners to enter cliquey subpopulations.
 
opendoor said:
Sorry, I don't understand that sentence. You don't have a long-term dance partner because of the embrace. It serves to signal reliability and sociability to the community. You also choose such partners to enter cliquey subpopulations.
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Life partner!

Can't imagine it's going to work well with a set of dance partner 'friends' who talk to each other either. Whose embrace do you prefer? Keep digging that hole for yourself!
 
Brummbaer said:
Don't think it's a good long-term plan to say you can recognise someone of a sex of interest by their embraceo_O.
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Is there a typo? If there is a typo, I can make sense of”recognize someone of interest by their embrace “ or “recognize someone by their embrace”. The “of a sex” part throws me off in understanding the sentence as constructed.


Brummbaer said:
It's not going to work out well with a long-term partner (whose embrace do you really prefer?), or any, or all, of the others. (But, and without doing a blind test, some).
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Because the embrace may change?
 
Brummbaer said:
Don't think it's a good long-term plan to say you can recognize someone of a sex of interest by their embraceo_O. It's not going to work out well with a long-term partner (whose embrace do you really prefer?), or any, or all, of the others. (But, and without doing a blind test, some).
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I appreciate the cautionary note -- comparing your significant other to someone else can be risky business! I can see that TTanguero's skill that way could make for being a better leader, it sounds like he is more perceptive that way than I am.

BTW, there be dragons the opposite direction, too. "No honey, I can't tell you apart from any of the other ladies," would be bad to say, too!
 
Bailango said:
Is there a typo? If there is a typo, I can make sense of ”recognize someone of interest by their embrace “ or “recognize someone by their embrace”. The “of a sex” part throws me off in understanding the sentence as constructed.
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I don't think it's a typo. I think when @Brummbaer said "someone of a sex of interest," he meant "someone who is the gender you are typically interested in." Your interpretation means essentially the same thing: "someone of interest" - regardless of what sex they are.
 
Bailango said:
Is there a typo?
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No typo! Just attempting to be inclusive for whatever team, or all teams, you play on - and hint at beyond basic dance partners.

Bailango said:
Because the embrace may change?
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No. Because if you have a SO, then they're not necessarily going to take kindly to whoever's embrace (even dance) you prefer, or that you can't tell.

Rabbit said:
Statistically, most people's SOs are not going to be the same person as their favourite dancer. That's why I said "don't ask"
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True. But even any hint of comparison amongst a group of partners of interest is going to get you into trouble when they compare notes (they will!)

Is everyone solo, and/or a growing stream of exes? Maybe this is a reason:rolleyes:?
 
I have mild facial aphasia:
benlovejoy.blog

Mild facial aphasia, or why you have to introduce yourself to me multiple times

As some of you will know, I suffer from mild facial aphasia, also known as partial prosopagnosia. Since tango people are often curious about it when I mention it, I thought I’d write a brief …
benlovejoy.blog benlovejoy.blog

it is very common for me not to recognize a follower's face, and I have no idea whether we've danced before until we enter the embrace. On many occasions, I will recognise her embrace, even though I didn't recognise her face.

Came here to say this!. If I don't recognize her immediately in the embrace it's within the first few steps.
 
Tango Distance said:
Questions for the DF audience:
  • Has this happened to you?
  • What are your tricks to remember people?
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Yes, I've had a couple instances. While I tend to forget names, I rarely forget faces. Paying attention to the 'little things' (what they're wearing, how they dress, hair, etc.) so I use facial recognition and those memories to remember them.
There has only been one follower visiting our community in recent memory who I forgot we danced the last time they visited.
 
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