The perfect body image nightmare for comp.

:D

BOT though. This is definitely not limited to women. Get the same feeling every time I look at latin shirt I have sitting on dresser. I've lost a ton of weight dancing, and get compliments all the time, but still have trouble seeing it myself, at times. Everyone gave great advice here though, so take it. As best as you can, anyway, I know it's not easy.
 
mamboqueen said:
Oh lordy...people just don't seem to realize how words can impact a child. Bad enough she got a little teasing at school (and I have to convince her not to level the kid that made the comment), but yeah, coming from someone she adores, it's really difficult. She said "he's really mean" and I tried to assure her that he wasn't intentionally being mean, but that's little consolation. I also tell her how it's also more important to be a beautiful person *inside* rather than outside. I had a woman come up to me at a playground last week and tell me that "your daughter has such a loving heart" because she took her younger child with her into a group of kids that she was clearly nervous about. My daughter held her hand and helped her assimilate into the crowd. I really work hard to let her know she's great all around.

We will keep letting her know that she is beautiful inside and out and perfect just the way she is. Every now and then I even have to catch myself when I am complaining about my pants being too tight and she says "mom, you're not fat" and I tell her that's not what I meant, it's just uncomfortable to be sitting in pants that are too tight. I think she sees overall that I'm perfectly happy with myself, so I'm hoping that will rub off a bit, too. But, it's no easy task, that is for sure.
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this make me nuts...our daughter was teased on the bus to the point of deciding to stop eating and since it was an active season for her...she was almost to the point of anorexia before we realized it...I had to take her to the OB/GYN for a long talk and spend much time and work helping her...mercifully it didn't result in a need for medication or therapy...but kids are horrible to each other...and I work very hard not to make self-deprecating remarks about myself in front of her b/c I realize that she has the same self-critical obsessive tendencies...
 
mamboqueen said:
By the way, just how is a person to keep their breasts from developing????
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heh...haven't figured that out...in fact I danced with someone I haven't danced with before the other day...and um....he obviously undercompensated once when waving his hand around:rolleyes:...ever the gentleman ...but...personally, I could do without them...they just get in the way...dh happens to disagree...;)
 
fascination said:
heh...haven't figured that out...in fact I danced with someone I haven't danced with before the other day...and um....he obviously undercompensated once when waving his hand around:rolleyes:...ever the gentleman ...but...personally, I could do without them...they just get in the way...dh happens to disagree...;)
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Well, yeah, if I suddenly had 'em, I would probably be very distracted trying to work around them in dancing...but it sure would be a bit easier to fill out the bra cups with flesh rather than chicken cutlets or padding. OTOH, I noticed my more well endowed friends on the beach in their suits and, mid-40's, the southward progression was a bit more evident on them than me. I guess one advantage of being small.

I got "flatsy patsy" incessantly when young. And even when I was pregnant (and put on about 20 lbs with my son), I had a guy in the office approach me and say "when are your boobs going to get big"? I was inclined to say "when your hairline starts going the other way", but I just shrugged it off. Schmuck.
 
As someone with a D cup let me tell you that even though I find them annoying at times, the don't really present any problems for dancing Standard. I mean really, they are part of me, I am used to them every day, my balance is created with them being a constant part of my life...it's not like I suddenly woke up and they were there and I had to figure out how to deal with them.
 
Peaches said:
Good question. That idea is about as absurd as the opposite--that you can make them devleop. (Well, short of relatively extreme measures.) Heck, if either option were possible, don't you think that multitudes of girls would have figured it out by now? Sheesh.
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Actually, if you work up chest muscles (like do a lot of chest presses), it makes your boobs look bigger. The muscles underneath kinda push them out. It was the last thing I needed, since my boobs are already big, but there you go.

On a side note, I am not sure if baby fat necessarily converts into boobs. I was always skinny as a child, yet it did not prevent me from getting all the way to a D cup by age 16.
 
Didn't really mean that she'd have big ones...just meant the body change from child to young woman in general. She'll be wearing a potato sack, so it won't be obvious in any event ;)
 
mamboqueen said:
Yeah...it's such a tough thing. He means it, I think, to be in athletic condition for dancing, but she hears "I'm fat". She's just at that prepubescent age where she has quite a bit of baby fat and in a couple of years, it'll be boobs and not belly (I missed the boat on that entirely - heh). I don't think that he really quite understands the development of a girl's body and I think he might not be completely aware of the absurd societal pressure that girls have on them to be a twig. It may be partly a cultural issue.
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On the other hand, dancing will also contribute to the weight loss and the development of a more athletic condition, so it may not be necessary to event actually mention it. Especially considering her age and the fact that the opinion she has of herself and all of her self-confidence will be built around what she hears around that age! I believe encouraging her to eat well and exercise will have the desired effect on the body without making her feel miserable and inadequate.

Perhaps you could discuss some of this with the teacher so that he presents things in a more appropriate way in the future. There's enough social pressure regarding a girl's appearance just on tv and in magazines! Sorry, I got carried away a little, I think... ;)
 
mamboqueen said:
I might have to slap a man today just for the heck of it. Heh...
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Unfortunately, critical comments are not limited to just coming from men. My mother used to tell me I couldn't wear tube tops because they'd fall down if I sneezed. And my own daughter, my own flesh and blood, caught a glimpse of me getting out of the shower and laughed. She should just be glad the trait for nice-sized boobs, which obviously was a recessive gene in me, got passed through to her! :D
 
NURDRMS said:
Unfortunately, critical comments are not limited to just coming from men. My mother used to tell me I couldn't wear tube tops because they'd fall down if I sneezed. And my own daughter, my own flesh and blood, caught a glimpse of me getting out of the shower and laughed. She should just be glad the trait for nice-sized boobs, which obviously was a recessive gene in me, got passed through to her! :D
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Ugh. I guess many of us had our fill at one time or another. Yeah, I just mentioned men because the incident with my daughter and then danceirina's offender was also a male. I'm sure women can be equally cruel. It almost seems worse coming from a woman...at least they should be able to empathize and relate to body issues.
 
Laura said:
As someone with a D cup let me tell you that even though I find them annoying at times, the don't really present any problems for dancing Standard. I mean really, they are part of me, I am used to them every day, my balance is created with them being a constant part of my life...it's not like I suddenly woke up and they were there and I had to figure out how to deal with them.
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Please tell me how you deal! lol. I'm a G cup and don't know what to do with myself, especially in standard because I feel like they're just there and totally interfering with my frame. Plus, where do you get dresses that fit and don't bankrupt you?
 
dancinrina said:
Please tell me how you deal! lol. I'm a G cup and don't know what to do with myself, especially in standard because I feel like they're just there and totally interfering with my frame. Plus, where do you get dresses that fit and don't bankrupt you?
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your signature is getting longer by the minute. cracking me up!
 
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