Way of doing things...

S

squirrel

New Member
Some of you might remember I complained about one of my former instructors and his current attitude towards me.

Well, he did it again! He organised a workshop and announced me that I am his personal enemy and shall thus be banned from participating (as a regular student)! I was like :shock: :shock: :shock: !!!

Yet my students are allowed to participate (as the guy put it, I and my partner are his enemies and shall be banned from any and every event he organises...).

Does this happen in your scenes as well? What shall I do?
 
Nothing. He will lose out. Act as a lady and you will get the respect of those people who matter.
 
Oh Gosh! This is the craziest foolishness. :evil: I'm so sorry, Squirrel. Unfortunately, this happens everywhere. Don't these people know that Salsa doesn't belong to anyone? I'll have to think about this a bit. It really needs a positive solution, not a negative one particularly because you don't want to lose your present and/or future students. Gosh, really sorry, Squirrel. :(
 
and he's like that just out of the blue.. just jealous/competition.. or does he believe he has reason?

if its the last.. try discussing it with him and see whats up

if its the middle.. then karma will handle that

if its the first.. well, i for one ignore idiots.
 
Well... the story is quite long (and partially sordid...).

He used to be one of my best friends... We shared everything... I was his assistant and my partner was there too and the 3 of us were "us against the world"... I remember how much he liked to fight and argue and had us teach for him and didn't give a sh1t about the classes...

Then I left first (personal problems) and my partner left later (they fought)... by then, all his old friends had deserted him and he was calling them (and us) names... :(.

Then he and I sorto of made up... he wanted me to apologise for leaving his school and then come back to teach for him (I might not be too good a dancer, but everyone seems to consider me a very good instructor... :oops: ).

But I had already decided to open my own school with my partner, and this guy got so angry! Called me and said I was not ready to have my own school, I am not good enough etc... and had the audacity to say "You can teach at my school though"...

Then we had the site... he called me again and started yelling, then took care of his own site (which he had been neglecting so far...).

Then he disapproved of the fact that we took out an instructional DVD for beginners... to be sold locally... He called me and insulted me and said I had no right to do it and I had offended him and who do I think I am ... that he is my Salsa mentor! And he should have known and approved of it! :)

He got sooooo angry... insulted us in any possible way... told everybody about some secrets that we shared! And those things were personal...

Now he's not talking to us, not saying "Hi"... his students (when he had the school open, now it's closed down - lack of assistants :lol: ) were forbidden to visit other schools and especially our school! :)

I had some good laughs about the above...

I intend to do nothing... I mean, I'll go on with my life... tell everybody that we were forbidden to go to the workshop... and to h3ll with him!

But my partner wants revenge... he wants the press and the sponsors to find out... :( I say it's not worth the trouble...

What do you think?
 
squirrel said:
....But my partner wants revenge... he wants the press and the sponsors to find out... :( I say it's not worth the trouble...

What do you think?
Click to expand...
Okay, I'd definitely say that doing nothing is the best thing for you and your partner. His failures are the best revenge. He will sink himself if he hasn't already. :twisted:
 
Squirrel,

I would agree it's not worth the trouble, and any of my previous efforts at 'revenge' have unfortunately backfired and only end up making you look bad.

I'm dealing with a similiar personality - although my situation has nothing to do with dancing. I am very confident that people like that cannot hide their true personality from everyone. His undoing will be that he can't help but be himself.

A true "mentor" would be happy in your successes, stand beside you in any failures, and always be supportive of your endeavors. It sounds like the only person he's concerned with is himself, and has a rather distorted view of how he fits into the dance community.

With time, I doubt he'll fit at all.
 
squirrel said:
I intend to do nothing... I mean, I'll go on with my life... tell everybody that we were forbidden to go to the workshop... and to h3ll with him!

But my partner wants revenge... he wants the press and the sponsors to find out... :( I say it's not worth the trouble...

What do you think?
Click to expand...

I agree with you. Negative feelings and reactions and actions have rarely lead to anything positive in my personal experience. Somehow I feel dirtied somewhere inside me - my soul, my spirit!!
 
Squirel, if he thought you weren´t a good instructor and dancer, he wouldn´t be the least worried. I would take it as a compliment. There´s hidden flattery there...
 
Hi Squirrel,
well, that kind of surrealistic attitude is not exclusive of Romania.
There is a teacher here in Lisbon who is very agressive in his way of attracting students. He does not even talk to me anymore because he doesn't understand that there is a difference between just asking someone for information and assuming that when we inquire we automatically want to become students of his. Well, he kept chasing and harassing me every time he saw me, and once, I had already left the club and was in my car in the underground parking lot ready to go, when he looms in my window handing me a flyer and saying he had the perfect class for me, etc...
I now don't definitely want to learn with him, since for me a teacher also has to be good as a human being and have values, and that is perhaps as or more important than his salsa skills (which are actually good by the way).

Tiago
 
tchaguito said:
I now don't definitely want to learn with him, since for me a teacher also has to be good as a human being and have values, and that is perhaps as or more important than his salsa skills (which are actually good by the way).

Tiago
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This is so true, Tiago. When I have some sort of choice I'll never take lessons from the wrong kind of person, even if that does not come across while teaching. Let's just say I don't want to get dirtied!!
 
I perfectly agree...

Still I am sad and disgusted... :(

It is the aggresivity that I sense thatmakes me regret having known him... :(

He taugth me some things... but not the right values and attitude... his hatred and despise of those around him made me be the same when I was his friend... but I learned my lesson the hard way and am now as I have always been... respectful of people and willing to learn... :)

I don't hate anybody... and I think negative attitude brings only negativity in our lives... :)
 
squirrel said:
But my partner wants revenge... he wants the press and the sponsors to find out... :( I say it's not worth the trouble...

What do you think?
Click to expand...

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. --Mahatma Gandhi 
 
 
 
hello dear lil squirrel, i just read your article. The best advice I can give you is that: Silence is GOLD. Keep on teaching and let him be.

The more he say, the more he is in self destruct mode. u know what i mean?!

Trust me, in time, things gonna go your way. Stay strong! :P
 
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