What are the proper rules when you are on a date at a salsa club?

[salsero77003]

This topic is making me laugh.

What??? This is some messed up advice. How about spending some time with her WITHOUT paying for her time

That was funny englezul

Actully it's not a concert it's a live band that plays every Friday and Saturday.

We have been dating exclusively for about 3 weeks. Hence, I am still getting to know her.

I think honesty is the best policy but yes I think a solution would be for her to do what she wants to do on a Friday or Saturday and I will do what I want to do.

It's just sad that salsa can cause so much friction in a relationship. It seems like everyone on this forum has experiance some kind of negative reaction when dating.

 

[waltzgirl]

Wow, only 3 weeks. In that case, I think it's best not to consider going salsa dancing a "date." You need to be spending your date time doing things that will let you get to know each other better--and while the conflicts over salsa are certainly doing that!--it's not in the best possible way!

When you go salsa dancing, just consider it an activity you both happen to be doing at the same time. You both have a longer "relationship" with salsa than you do with each other and, to some extent, it may still be the more important relationship. Boy- and girlfriends come and go, but dance is forever. She doesn't want to change the way she approaches an evening of salsa--fine. You continue to do the same. Spend your date time doing something else.

But if you're saying that she refuses to do anything but salsa and also refuses to make any effort to spend time with you when you are dancing, then I do start to wonder whether this relationship has a future.

 

[salsero77003]

She likes to see me during the week. It's the weekends that seems to get on her nerves if we don't go salsa dancing.

 

[sweavo]

I thought the point of this thread was for the original poster to try to cut down the number of fights with his girlfriend over Salsa. I don't think he'll earn any brownie points if at some point during the date he says, "Oops, I forgot you were here." :doh:

No, I thought the point was to deal with the OP's fear of getting into a fight over salsa... a subtly, but fundamentally, different problem...

 

[englezul]

But if you're saying that she refuses to do anything but salsa and also refuses to make any effort to spend time with you when you are dancing, then I do start to wonder whether this relationship has a future.

Alright, so this is kinda special...you're still at the beginning and at the beginning you don't want to pressure eachother too much, as waltzgirl said you're still in the phase where you should meet eachother outside of salsa so you can get to know eachother and get closer. At the salsa club, just keep it light and fun. If you want to dance with her just go grab her, that's what I'd do, and don't be hesitant, don't try to look for approval. This is like Nike...Just DO IT! But still keep in mind at all times WHAT YOU WANT and if it's going in the direction YOU WANT. If not, just be a man and be willing to step down. I wish you success and a lot of fun in the process.

 

[LatinDancer006]

His problem is he bothered by the fact that she doesn't wait for him when he thinks she wants to dance with him. Instead he has to chase after her and wait for her to get a dance with her. IMO there some mismatched expectation on this date. Clubs are never a good place to spend most of your date in. That's why I recommend going out to dinner or something before going to the clubs. But that's when I thought it was some what of a serious relationship. 3 weeks is not a dating relationship. 3 months does not make an intermediate dancer. 6 months does not make an advance dancer. jeusus chris.

 

[quixotedlm]

So what are tehe rules when you are NOT on a date at a salsa club, but want to get someone there to go on a date with you.

First attempt at an answer - Ask her to dance as often as possible, and try some subtle stalking

 

[BrownSkin818]

So what are tehe rules when you are NOT on a date at a salsa club, but want to get someone there to go on a date with you.

First attempt at an answer - Ask her to dance as often as possible, and try some subtle stalking

lol, and of course tell her how great a dancer she is as often as possible. that'll sap her up. te he he

 

[englezul]

lol, and of course tell her how great a dancer she is as often as possible. that'll sap her up. te he he

And you down. :twisted:

 

[squirrel]

I am lost in all these advices... salsero 77003, can you summarise what's been discussed so far?

 

[Big10]

No, I thought the point was to deal with the OP's fear of getting into a fight over salsa... a subtly, but fundamentally, different problem...

This was the first line in his first post:

Here is a topic that might sound trivial but is something that my girlfriend and I are having constant arguments.

********

But that's when I thought it was some what of a serious relationship. 3 weeks is not a dating relationship. 3 months does not make an intermediate dancer. 6 months does not make an advance dancer.

I'd have to agree with LatinDancer's points. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I wouldn't label anyone as my "girlfriend" after just 3 weeks.

In any event, I wish 77003 good luck with the situation!

 

[sweavo]

This was the first line in his first post:

heh. OK. I confess I didn't read his first post here, I was reading between the lines over on salsaforums. Bottom line, keep your eye on the balance of power in the relationship, give as good as you get, stay sympathetic but don't be a pushover! "Desperate" is not a good look!

 

[Big10]

heh. OK. I confess I didn't read his first post here, I was reading between the lines over on salsaforums.

That was the first line on his thread over at Salsaforums, too. (I think he just duplicated the post, to get different sets of feedback from different crowds.)

 

[BrownSkin818]

lol, 2 good threads should spawn from this elsewhere.

1. "girlfriend" of three weeks? hey, anythings possible. some people get married within a month of meeting. what's your expected or minimum wait time for "labels"?

2. "advanced" dancer after 3 months? embellishment or actually believable?

(sorry i have nothing to address your actual topic 77003 . just wanted to highlight what others have already noted... some good spin off questions )

 

[MacMoto]

2. "advanced" dancer after 3 months? embellishment or actually believable?

Didn't salsero77003 mention somewhere (maybe the other forum) that she used to dance ballroom? If she has years of partner dance experience, maybe it's not inconceivable that she's actually pretty good.

We have been dating exclusively for about 3 weeks. Hence, I am still getting to know her.

You are certainly getting to know her now -- that salsa is *very* important to her at this moment; that she doesn't want to sacrifice her salsa time just because she's dating you. Maybe she started dating you because she thought, being a fellow salsero, you would understand. This may be just a phase -- or she may always be like this.