What Is Tango Doing Right/Wrong: Recruiting and Retaining

If I stick out my left hand, I want to dance parallel. If I stick out my right arm, I want V-embrace. It always works intuitively. Try it out! Learned it from Sebastián Arce.
Oh, I've heard this often. It doesn't always work intuitively. It works only with people who know the code. You might think it isn't a learned code, but it is. Around here, for instance, the tangueras who also dance ballroom tend to take a left hand as an invitation to create a V-shaped frame, and if you want to hug, you have to start with the hugging (right) arm.
 
The intuitive part is, that if you hug first the side that will later be closed, you already are in a V.
Uh, you don't get to hug someone first. They decide when, if, and how they'll be hugged. I agree that if I just hug someone with my right arm, we'll be dancing in a V, but there's a whole level of (silent, quick, but real) negotiation that goes on before any hugging happens.

Maybe this is cultural. I certainly can't invite random tangueras here to dance and expect them to let me hug them. Usually, I have to stand in front of them and see how they hug me. Also, followers who invite often take my hand to encourage me to dance with them, so there's a certain control over hands going on well in advance of dancing . . . I've had some take my left hand and want to stay open on that side, before right-hand sides ever make contact.
 
To me it is comfortable and most common that I come across. Right to Right cheek is far less common (since follower decides how they place their head). There are indeed a few followers that will press hard upon leaders head in Left to Right placement. I find it annoying but it is very infrequent. Causing discomfort can happen with any embrace and head position if one of the two is pressing upon the other.
Here it's mostly cheek to cheek, right cheek to right cheek.
 
How close or open the embrace should be. Yes as a leader we can open and close, but her normal or standard close distance (coming back home) is determined by her.
Well, you can always choose whom to dance with and try to dance with those whose abrazo matches yours.
 
If I stick out my left hand, I want to dance parallel. If I stick out my right arm, I want V-embrace. It always works intuitively. Try it out! Learned it from Sebastián Arce.
Interesting. How many followers in your experience recognize that as a signal?

How do you stick your right hand out for V-embrace. The same way as the left hand.

For me it is more functional. How I invite the follower depends on at what spot we enter the Ronda and how crowded it is. My first instinct is to quickly move away. If that’s not possible then I dance in place till room becomes available to step ahead.

Then too I think I offer my both arms. Not one or the other. Only after the follower enters the embrace I close my arms. At least that is what I think I do. I never had consciously thought about.
 
Well, you can always choose whom to dance with and try to dance with those whose abrazo matches yours.
That’s not a criteria for selecting dance partners. Most dance partners I like dancing with, I don’t have issue with their abrazo. Thought some have far superior abrazo. Not only when they dance with me, but with anyone.

I think in some thread there were posts in whether a good abrazo can be taught or not. I think it can be taught till level where someone is good and competent. I am only thinking of group classes. Therefore I think in the privates perhaps it is possible to teach what adjustments can make abrazo superior. It has to be felt by the partner but also has to be functional and not come in the way of movement.
 
Interesting. How many followers in your experience recognize that as a signal?
It always works. I danced yesterday in Berlin, where I'm visiting friends. The scene is incredibly large here, and I really didn't knew anyone. However, I can't rule out the possibility that there are subconscious, pre-selective filters. Of course, I ask pretty, lightweight dancers of a certain height.
..How do you stick your right hand out for V-embrace. The same way as the left hand.
If I extend my left arm, the palm faces upward. If I extend my right arm, the palm faces inward, as in a hug.

..How I invite the follower depends on at what spot we enter the Ronda and how crowded it is.
I haven't considered such aspects now. You specifically asked about the isolated gestures and their sign language.
..I offer my both arms...
I only do this with people I know well, but haven't seen in a while. Extending both arms signals besitos.
 
It's weird for me to offer my right arm first — I always offer my left hand first, and I let the follower close in and choose the embrace. Then my right arm completes the embrace and finds a comfortable place.

But if she places her hand on my bicep or leaves it open, my brain automatically switches off, and I resign myself to boredom, because I am not going to enjoy dancing in an open embrace for the whole tanda.
 
Why you resignate? Lot of followers, dancing with me for first time, starts tanda in open embrace. It is my task to give to show them how comfortable, playfull and pleasurefull can be close embrace. There are special moments when you can switch from open to close very easy and without pushing or pulling follower into. If she do not want to try, it is up to her. Most of them try it for a while, then switch to open, then stay longer in close. This embrace change is a game for whole tanda.
 
This embrace change is a game for whole tanda.
I've certainly experienced followers who begin in open embrace and then move relatively quickly into close embrace and then stay there. But in London, you will find a great many followers who only ever dance in open embrace with everyone, and that never changes. They've simply never learned to dance in close embrace.
 
But in London, you will find a great many followers who only ever dance in open embrace with everyone, and that never changes. They've simply never learned to dance in close embrace.

Not exactly a thing restricted to London as you can find these dancers (both leaders and followers) in Europe as well, and quite a few of the dancers in London are from the continent anyway
 

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