Cabeceo and Other "Rules"

That's the worst, yes.

To be clear, my "Learning to dance on bad floors is part of learning to dance" meant "Learning to dance on dance floors in bad shape is part of learning to dance." It did not mean "Learning to dance on whatever surface presents itself is part of learning to dance." It's about learning to cope with fast/slippery and slow/sticky floors, and sprung floors that have lost their spring; it isn't about dancing on horrific surfaces like unpolished concrete.
Iv'e danced outside on asphalt surfaces, flat stone, and wooden boards (the kind you find on a boardwalk), and that concrete floor in that dungeon. None of them were very workable for tango. Unless our milongas are held in a dance studio, most of the floors we dance on are in relatively poor shape. But we're grateful for what we have and you learn to adapt.
 
Just a thought to add to the "Cabeceo and Other "Rules" thread...
One new thing I learned from recent reading was how common and well attended tango dances were in the Golden Age, and that that some of these dances were held in places that included sports fields that were most often used for soccer. and other places that current dancers would probably avoid.
Also, there were no dance shoes, so people had to dance in whatever footwear they owned, but probably their best!
 
..in the Golden Age... sports fields.. Also ...no dance shoes..
As someone with knee osteoarthritis, that really sounds terrifying. But I take comfort in the fact that (according to Christine Denniston) in the GA, the level of dance has hit an all-time low. The couples probably only swayed on the spot. In an interview (Monica Paz), Cacho Dante made a distinction between dancers and milongueros. Real dancers (like himself) went to the cabarets with Pugliese and Gobbi playing.
 
Well, I didn’t mention that they put down wooden planks, or canvas over other rough surfaces; still not the best surface to dance on. It was probably like swing the U.S. (I’m seeing great parallels between how swing/jazz and AT developed through the decades.) You had your Savoy and Hollywood hot shot dancers, and you also had the great majority of dancers.
 
Because

- the tanda system (A tango specific issue) forces the adoption of some sort of defensive measures to avoid being stuck in an unenjoyable dance for 10 minutes, which is too long

- most people don't feel good about rejecting others or being rejected, either at the invitation or stopping after the first song

- therefore verbal invitation where one person enjoys the dance and the other does not will cause a negative experience for someone
I agree with second and third point. Making an eye contact in non tango situations is such a common and universal thing. Historically in some places and cultures there might be a tradition or rules on when eye contact can be initiated and by whom. I consider it to be a very natural thing and like that Cabaceo is also a part of Tango tradition. One of my biggest complaints is the smaller subset of dancers who flout it at a milonga. I can’t recall being at a milonga where Cabaceo wasn’t a norm. As a leader, when a subset of dancers do that, it creates a quandary as to which follower is looking out for Cabaceo and which one expects to just sits there till a leader approaches her. Walking to where a follower is seated and then initiating eye contact isn’t Cabaceo. If the intent of Cabaceo is to be subtle, that is exact opposite. I have been cut off many times where I am trying to make an eye contact from distance and some leader will cut in by walking up to the follower. I observe that happening to others. Most places I have danced don’t have a geography that makes Cabaceo easy.

I consider the first point of Tanda system to be both an excuse (a rather convenient one) and snobbishness on part of Tango dancers. Whether you have to suffer through 3-5 minutes of a single song in other dances or 10-15 minutes in Tango, I consider it the same. You always have an option to retire after first or second song if the suffering is so unbearable :) Sometimes in live salsa music you could get stuck dancing a 15-20 minute song. Though with mutual consent both partners can call it off early. That is applying common sense. My point is whether you are stuck for 4 minutes or 10 minutes, there isn’t anything exceptional about gettting stuck in Tango. I have felt more often agitated for getting stuck in one song at salsa than at a tanda :)
 
Of course, by rejecting the whole "lady/gentleman" view of "woman/man" as a sexist construct that's well past its Use By date, I'm likely missing some subtlety of lady-like and gentlemanly conduct that the cabeceo protects or privileges. I believe that the two dancers are exactly equal partners, that the leader isn't mostly "responsible" for the tanda, that a follower invitation thus isn't an imposition of responsibility, and that in fact leader/follower doesn't have to mean man/woman. So, to me it's all a bit quaint that we have this ritual of Mr. Dashing Prince inviting Ms. Shy Flower and taking charge of her, and this dislike of Ms. Flower being bold and asking Mr. Prince because it somehow imposes something on Mr. Prince that his invitation doesn't impose on Ms. Flower (hah!).

So, my proposed explanation might rub you the wrong way.
LOL

That’s a fairy tale ritual which doesn’t exist. In reality may be only some dillusional person believes otherwise. But then we have witnessed many who think vaccine is more harmful than the disease it prevents.

At right time and place a man might want to be gallant, just as a woman might wish he were. However it is accepted that people have their own agency.

In every era and place there are bold and shy people. Irrespective of gender. Unlike some recent, 20th and 21st century scholarly research, I don’t view leader/follower as a sexist construct. They are roles in partner dancing. It is unfortunate that in English they get labeled as leader and follower. I have no problem that traditionally one role was primarily played by men and other by women. Sexist mindset can insert itself into any place and dancing definitely is not immune to it. Dancing only reflects society’s sexist mindset. On its own I don’t find partner dancing to be a sexist construct.
 
that that some of these dances were held in places that included sports fields that were most often used for soccer. and other places that current dancers would probably avoid.

I didn’t mention that they put down wooden planks, or canvas over other rough surfaces
Sand can be quite forgiving for pivots, so maybe 'dirt' is similar. I remember reading somewhere that early dancers (poor immigrants) would probably have had clogs, or wooden soled boots, so maybe some surfaces weren't that bad with appropriate materials.

But I'll look out for followers of the 'one true way' who want to go back to that:rolleyes:

One of my biggest complaints is the smaller subset of dancers who flout it at a milonga.
With any convention it's those who don't conform that are the problem to the rest - until it evolves to become the standard, if it's seen to be more successful. I'd suggest the motivation for different approaches is perceived lack of success in achieving their objective. A direct approach seeks to maximise dances/tandas irrespective of opinion/rejection, and maybe the environment isn't conducive; cabeceo/mirada is a subtler approach seeking to conform to the perceived rules in that group, and 'belonging' in a group.
 
This only applies if you are walking up. If she already invited you via mirada/cabeceo, she doesn't need permission and I think it is a bit disrespectful to imply that she does, especially since sometimes they are not actually a couple.
I keep getting surprised this is viewed through lens of “permission”. This is a widely discussed topic among those who are into latin dances. As are stories about latin men who felt disrespected when someone asked their partner directly by ignoring them. There are numerous incidents in Latin American countries about both women and men considering it rude or unwelcome when a stranger directly approach the woman. Also leading to fights. Granted there are some chauvinistic men who might want others to seek their ‘permission’. Controlling men are not exclusive to dancing domain. Just as there are men who will feel disrespected. I have known women too who felt offended about a stranger ignoring their partner when asking for a dance. When there is some sort of acquaintance or familiarity among the three parties etiquettes are more relaxed.

In any other area of life if we are interrupting or approaching any two people in a group irrespective of their gender or relationship, it is a common courtesy to acknowledge both.

I find it odd that in western society this discussion always jumps to “permission”. There is a difference between an acknowledgement and permission. Since when is it okay to totally ignore other person only because you believe in “everyone is entitled to their own freedom and choice”. BTW I haven’t seen that happen in wild clubs either.
 
With any convention it's those who don't conform that are the problem to the rest - until it evolves to become the standard, if it's seen to be more successful. I'd suggest the motivation for different approaches is perceived lack of success in achieving their objective. A direct approach seeks to maximise dances/tandas irrespective of opinion/rejection, and maybe the environment isn't conducive; cabeceo/mirada is a subtler approach seeking to conform to the perceived rules in that group, and 'belonging' in a group.
True and agree. That is not my point. I am referring to practical impediment caused. Especially when there are more leaders than followers. I wish at the entrance people pick up sign that indicates “okay to ask me” or “only Cabaceo” and stick it on their head :D
 
Also, there were no dance shoes, so people had to dance in whatever footwear they owned, but probably their best!
I'm pretty sure dance shoes existed and were accessible for even poor people. Nonetheless "good shoes" were hard-soled leather and "regular floors" were polished wood.

Many of us have parents or grandparents who attended dances at that time and they had dancing shoes- which were not necessarily modern dancing shoes, even if they didn't have running water, electricity or more than three outfits.
 
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I keep getting surprised this is viewed through lens of “permission”
Depending on the customs and traditions of the locale the "correct etiquette" was to ask the man for permission to dance with his partner. Women were the property of their fathers and then their husbands. They could not vote, sign contracts or own property in their own name. For many women seeking permission form a male partner before asking her to dance is harking back to those times and not gallant or chivalrous.
 
I'm pretty sure dance shoes existed and were accessible for even poor people. Nonetheless "good shoes" were hard-soled leather and "regular floors" were polished wood.

Many of us have parents or grandparents who attended dances at that time and they had dancing shoes- which were not necessarily modern dancing shoes, even if they didn't have running water, electricity or more than three outfits.
Yes, I suspect that's true. To avoid ambiguity with my own comment about wooden-soled shoes, I was referring to early immigrants, and more that Tango comes from the slums, not the [ballroom] dancefloor (although it's ended up on a dancefloor). It all depends on the particular era, and the strata of society which danced in particular locations. There are certainly early records of tango boots and fine evening shoes - if you could afford them.

Perhaps more on topic is the codigo(??) of high-heeled, strappy, shoes for female followers - and the whole supply business of tango fashion.
 
Followers should do whatever feels most comfortable. As my teacher says to my partner all the time – at least twice per lesson – "What matters isn't how you get there, but that you find a way of getting there." Cross rather than pivot, pivot rather than cross, three little steps instead of one big one, . . . that's follower prerogative in the absence of a clear lead to do or not do one of those things.

Yes and no. On the one hand the follower is free to dance variations. On the other hand how you get there - the energy and feeling in the step - is almost as important as getting there, and the different step options help with creating that.
 
..strata of society which danced in particular locations..
Thats why I posted the scene with Pugliese vom 1948, the camera focusses on the shoes at 0:26
..Cacho Dante .. Real dancers (like himself) went to the cabarets with Pugliese..
Bildschirmfoto 2022-02-10 um 17.21.24.png

How different life was in Europe in 1948. My parents (Germany) had no shoes at all at the end of WWII and no food either. Without American aid, they would have starved. They had never heard of tango either, because they grew up in a hermetically sealed environment that demonized anything foreign.
 

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