Peaches
Well-Known Member
Amen to this!Of course, the reality is, outside of BsAs, it's a negotiation, and how you present yourself determines what embrace you have. If you tentatively reach for the follower, she may assume you are a newbie, and go for open. If you confidently move for a close embrace, she might be more inclined to think you know what you're doing and accept close embrace. Or she may just be an open tango dancer, and will block you anyway.If a follower blocks you, you never force it. But don't waffle either, make your preference clear.
People seem to get so hung up on if you're "supposed" to let one partner or the other choose if they want to dance close or open. IME, it's always a negotiation. You can tell most of the time what the other person is comfortable with, just as Sub has said. And right along with that, even if your preference is for one or the other, you NEVER force that preference on the other person if you sense it making them uncomfortable. End of story, regardless if you're a man or a woman.