Dance Instructor Dating a Student

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personally, I agree with you that they are silly...and I wouldn't sign one as a student or a teacher... I also think the enforceability is often dubious....but I do think that an ethical person who does sign should honor what they sign or break the contract on the up and up and live with the consequences.... I do see why studios frown upon it and how it can be bad for business even though I wouldn't use them if I owned a studio
 
fascination said:
instructor has 5 pro am women...instructor starts showing preferential treatment to the one he is sleeping with...woman he is sleeping with starts demanding that he not go alone to comps with other students and behaves in a territorial way...other students share all of this amongst each other...other students speculate that he may have been a womanizer before...many annoyed students with big dollars leave the studio.....the studio loses it's deepest pockets....other people at other studios hear about it and decide that if that sort of thing is going on, they don't even want to go there for dances or groups...the employer loses money and reputation because of the teacher who "fell in love"
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We could make a movie out of this, with all the drama. But, let me make some minor script changes.

instructor has 5 pro am women...instructor starts dating someone not from the studio who is a lush
or druggie and gets caught up in the partying, not showing up on the job as scheduled or in states
under the influence...woman he is sleeping with starts demanding that he not go alone to comps with
other students and behaves in a territorial way...other students share all of this amongst each other...other students speculate that he may have been a drunkard before...many annoyed students with big dollars leave the studio.....the studio loses it's deepest pockets....other people at other studios hear about it and decide that if that sort of thing is going on, they don't even want to go there for dances or groups...the employer loses money and reputation because of the teacher who "fell in love" with vice.

There are no guarantees in life.
 
we don't disagree...except that the teacher didn't sign something saying he /she wouldn't date a territorial lush whom he/she might meet outside of the studio....I agree that scandals can happen in a variety of ways...and I agree that these clauses are not particularly beneficial....I am on record...I am simply saying that if you sign it regarding that particular scenario, then you should be true to your word....or honest about not having been
 
Warren J. Dew said:
Yes. I don't remember if any referred to nonfraternization, but some included essentially a pledge to honor the noncompete that the instructors signed.
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Customers having to honor the non-compete in some contract that an instructor signs as
employee at the studio??? What's with this? You are confusing customer contract with
instructor contract.

Totally different animals. And, for certainly, customer contracts won't/can't have non-compete
clauses.

The nonfraternization clause in the instructor contract allows the instructors to be flirtatious without having to worry about being taken seriously. For students who like that flirtatiousness, the nonfraternization clause that permits it is part of what they're buying.
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BS. It's shirking responsibilities to act "reasonably." Something studio owners certainly
want to protect themselves, but it won't hold up in court. Say an instructor "games"
a customer by flirting tenaciously (under the guise that it's fake flirting), and gets the
customer to spend $50k [when he/she can't afford it] or worse yet screws up the
customer's mind and makes him/her a stalker, do you think the instructor has no
liability? I doubt the jury would think the studio/instructor innocent. This is how
hiding behind veils may achieve biting results.
 
Partner Dancer said:
Customers having to honor the non-compete in some contract that an instructor signs as
employee at the studio??? What's with this? You are confusing customer contract with
instructor contract.

Totally different animals. And, for certainly, customer contracts won't/can't have non-compete
clauses.
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He's talking about the contract the student signs (I've stopped reading mine at this point; I have too many copies as I buy lessons five at a time). The clause in the student's agreement is they will honor the studio's noncompete clause--if a teacher leaves, THEIR contract generally stipulates they will not, for X period of time, take on students from their previous studio. This is to prevent someone from coming in, utilizing an employer's resources, and then using those student relationships to steal business. The studios that are big (dozens of students or more) maybe can afford to not bother with those protections. Smaller studios in smaller markets generally can't afford to lose students all at once. And yes, this is completely legal. If you are over 18 and sign any legally-written contract you don't understand and/or refuse to read, the law is not going to save your from yourself. The onus is on you not to sign something you don't understand, don't bother reading, or are unwilling to follow. (And in fact if you sign a contract knowing in advance you don't intend to obey the provisions, you're committing fraud.)

ETA: The heart is a muscle that is part of your circulatory system. One of the nice things about human brains, which is the organ that controls all you actions, is humans, unlike most other animals, can override hormones, which is all sexual attraction is, when it's in their best interest to do so.
 
Partner Dancer said:
or worse yet screws up the
customer's mind and makes him/her a stalker, do you think the instructor has no
liability? I doubt the jury would think the studio/instructor innocent. This is how
hiding behind veils may achieve biting results.
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Victim blaming much? No one forces anyone to become a stalker.
 
CaliChris10 said:
If I want to go to bed with my instructor or student and he wants the same I am going to do it and it is absolutely no ones business but ours.
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“Will you walk into my parlour?” said the Spider to the Fly,
'Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to shew when you are there.”
 
CaliChris10 said:
Then they are arses and greedy ones at that. And I would not want to work for a studio that all they cared about was money.
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They did a study and found that employees who were willing to cheat in the little things (like honor system donuts etc) were more likely to cheat in the big things (embezzlement, fraud etc). So firing someone for violating their contract seems perfectly reasonable and not being a "greedy arse".
 
Or for that matter the other students who
Partner Dancer said:
We could make a movie out of this, with all the drama. But, let me make some minor script changes.

instructor has 5 pro am women...instructor starts dating someone not from the studio who is a lush
or druggie and gets caught up in the partying, not showing up on the job as scheduled or in states
under the influence...woman he is sleeping with starts demanding that he not go alone to comps with
other students and behaves in a territorial way...other students share all of this amongst each other...other students speculate that he may have been a drunkard before...many annoyed students with big dollars leave the studio.....the studio loses it's deepest pockets....other people at other studios hear about it and decide that if that sort of thing is going on, they don't even want to go there for dances or groups...the employer loses money and reputation because of the teacher who "fell in love" with vice.
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The instructor gets fired in this case, too.
 
Studios are in business to make money. They also provide other services, but like every other non-governmental business (yes, including nonprofit institutions) they have to have as their number one priority staying in the black. If you don't, you quickly find yourself OUT of business. They don't make decisions about non-frat and non-compete agreements to be big meanie poopyheads (what with being adults responsible enough to be in a position to open a business in the first place.) They do it because they feel it's the best way to address a risk to customer retention and therefore revenue.
 
CaliChris10 said:
Oh come on, I'm sure when the OP signed her contract in did not occur to her that she would fall head over heels for a student. Lots of times when we are not looking for attraction or a relationship & it presents itself. Sometime things just happen.
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So under what circumstances do you think advance agreements *should* be honored?

Lots of people here seem to be thinking only with their heads and not their hearts. A part of what makes life great is being passionate, taking risks...designing your own life...not obeying rules others set for you.

"If you obey all the rules you will miss all the fun"
~Katharine Hepburn
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We're talking here about rules that were agreed-upon. In any case, putting aside your position on rule obedience; what's your position on caring about the consequences of your actions for yourself and others?

It would be easier to hear "you only live once" if it came alongside an explicitly-stated position on the degree to which one's (ir)responsibility also matters in life.
 
Look I understand the idea behind non-frat policies but I find them unrealistic. Writing a clause in a contract does not mean people are not going to do it. And its naive to think that instructors working in these studios always follow this policy. Does that make them bad people? No. The way you ladies are talking about dishonesty and stealing you would think they were doing something illegal.
 
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