(Dance) Partners: for better or worse

[elisedance]

Hi ED. You and your DP look really good. Love the dress and hairstyle. DP looks very dapper and gentlemanly.

:kissme:

DP is certainly both. Its a pleasure to dance and compete with him. He is the tall quiet type but always the gentleman, even when we argue over a step or something. I am truly very fortunate (and I hope he would say the same!!).

 

[elisedance]

Stages of partnership.
1. euphoria - you found someone to dance with. Thats close to finding eldorado. You get to share lesson costs; someone to discuss them with that understands and wants to perfect; someone to go and practice with almost for free. You are so afraid of losing this, everything he does is OK and not to be questioned (and vice versa). You treasure your dance partner like your very first boy/girlfriend. Hey, its way, way more special.
2. Reality check - you discover (as partner does) that he is not as good at dancing as you are. Clearly not as advanced nor as experienced.
3. Reality check 2 - you discovery that (2) was wrong: he is dancing down to you, you are no where near as advanced dancing or competing wise as he is. You are basically a clutz and must avoid at all costs your partner finding out.
4. After 2 months of working together (no idea why partner stayed after 3, but lets not question it) you try to be polite but its all his/her fault that the steps don't work. You have your first competitoin - expecting to come in 1st and be elevated to sainthood, you are both suprisingly very pleased iwth a call back and a 6th place. Can;t figure out why - but it seems to be a milestone. You planned, practiced, performed - and above all, did not fall apart, did not abandon each oher - you did OK. It turns out that OK is actually very, very good in the book of dance partnershp. Most important of all, you competed and are still together.
5. Practicing becomes different. Instead of either tolerating or arguing you start to work at things together. This works for me does it work for you. This works for you does it work for me. You start to work as a team.

........to be continued........ (I hope!)

 

[meow]

It turns out that OK is actually very, very good in the book of dance partnershp. Most important of all, you competed and are still together.
5. Practicing becomes different. Instead of either tolerating or arguing you start to work at things together. This works for me does it work for you. This works for you does it work for me. You start to work as a team.

........to be continued........ (I hope!)

Now, you have a 'real' partnership.:applause:

 

[elisedance]

compliments... ahhhh...

On DF we talk so much about problems and difficulties of partner dancing - both practically and emotionally - but rarely seem to highlight the good side. Since I just experienced a sincere compliment it made me wondered if we could share more of the nicenesses?

Yesterday, coach (and my ex pro-am partner, who, by the way, is currently professionally partnerless) mentioned that he had been asked to do a showcase at a New Years celebration. DP asked him who he would dance with and he joked about maybe using some manikins, as he'd seen in a terrific showcase. DP then said I know who you should do it with - and pointed at me. By the way, he is not the type to do something like that in jest. I asked him about it afterwards and he said that I really was the best follower around. It was a very, very sweet and very appreciated compliment and made me feel warm all evening.

[By the way, please don't misinterpret: this is not about me being a good dancer - I actually know of several other better local women that I am sure he would rather do it with - its about being valued and complmented by your own DP.]

 

[Twilight_Elena]

Ah. Some days I just can't help thinking that I've been dancing for three years now, have got some rather tricky pieces of technique down and my partner (complete beginner) can't stay on the bloody beat if I'm not counting for him. Or lead me. I feel horribly snobbish because he's come a long way in two months and I'm definitely not perfect... But even so, sometimes I just think "don't I deserve something better?"

 

[meow]

New partnerships usually have the 'honeymoon' period. Then things start to change. It can be difficult to be at different levels in dancing but patience is the key. It will take roughly a year for any partnership to be 'in sync' on all levels. Hard work, patience and respect are what keeps them going. And one has to be patient to reap results - they don't come overnight.

 

[elisedance]

Ah. Some days I just can't help thinking that I've been dancing for three years now, have got some rather tricky pieces of technique down and my partner (complete beginner) can't stay on the bloody beat if I'm not counting for him. Or lead me. I feel horribly snobbish because he's come a long way in two months and I'm definitely not perfect... But even so, sometimes I just think "don't I deserve something better?"

TE: when you come down to it, its a dance partnership and not a life sentence! You always have the option to terminate it and seek someone else - but before you do remember what it was like without anyone to practice with.

Do you have a chance to dance with other people as well? I know there is no pro/am option there but a regular social dancing venue. I realize your schedule is rather full - but maybe you could arrange to have one practice a week with your partner at a social dance where others would also dance with you (if you do not already do that of course). That might help to keep your skills up while providing a possibility for meeting a new and better partner.

 

[lcdancesport]

I wish I could find a dance partner. Right now I teach beginner students at my studio, only at night after my "day job", but with my teacher being so busy with his own students, I don't get a lot of partner dance time and usually practice on my own.

I still have training classes on the weekends, which I really appreciate, I just wish we could find some more advanced guys for the studio to dance with.

 

[biggestbox]

nowadays I don't even think about my partner. It is horrible to say, but I think about my back, my lead, my position, my timing. i actually find that i can dance much better and my partner can dance much better if I am in the correct position.

 

[lcdancesport]

nowadays I don't even think about my partner. It is horrible to say, but I think about my back, my lead, my position, my timing. i actually find that i can dance much better and my partner can dance much better if I am in the correct position.

I don't think it's horrible to say, we can only get better if we focus on our own weaknesses and make them stronger, thus benefiting the partnership.

It's something I try to do on a daily basis just so the basics continue to improve, then the rest will come more naturally.

 

[skwiggy]

nowadays I don't even think about my partner. It is horrible to say, but I think about my back, my lead, my position, my timing. i actually find that i can dance much better and my partner can dance much better if I am in the correct position.

This is much better than so many people who only think about what their partner is doing (or isn't doing) and spend so much time trying to fix their partner that they don't focus on what they need to work on themselves.

 

[cornutt]

nowadays I don't even think about my partner. It is horrible to say, but I think about my back, my lead, my position, my timing. i actually find that i can dance much better and my partner can dance much better if I am in the correct position.

That's exactly what my instructor keeps telling me to do. I find it difficult -- not because I'm trying to "fix" her moves, but simply because she's there. She's in my arms, I touch her, I see her; it's kind of hard to ignore.

 

[fascination]

obviously I have an instructor, not a partner...but even he has to be reminded to stop caring about me on the comp floor...and we are both better off when that happens

 

[NURDRMS]

obviously I have an instructor, not a partner...but even he has to be reminded to stop caring about me on the comp floor...and we are both better off when that happens

How did you convince him to stop watching out for you??? I have the same problem with my instructor. I understand his job is to do what it takes to allow me to dance to the best of my ability, but most photos show him watching me intead of dancing his dance.

 

[fascination]

like all of the things I have to work on and all of the things he has to work on , it is a work in progress...for starters, I do my best to dance in a way that lends itself to his believing that I can take care of myself thank you very much...I try to remind him to tap into his inner arrogance when we are on deck....and I express a great deal of confidence in the both of us