Determining skill by watching

[Subliminal]

Has someone of you leaders around here already made a real mistake by remote diagnosis of the dancing skills?

For the most part I do not judge by look. Too many variables. And one of my tango goals is to be able to dance with anyone and have it be interesting and fun.

Ok. Actually, I just thought of a time when I got burned... I saw this girl dancing, smiling, and having a good time. She also seemed to have a good sense of musicality, so I had to dance with her. Turns out, she liked back-leading and used her partners as props and boleo stands.

 

[Zoopsia59]

How are you able to determine when a follower needs 60 ganchos/m? I get that it was hyperbole, but how do you determine that the follower needs a bunch of crazy stuff?

I'm just guessing, but maybe it could be determined by the follower simply getting less and less connected as a dance goes on? The connection should deepen as the tanda progresses. If the connection gets worse, it probably means one of two things:

The dance is too complicated and the follower is getting frustrated/annoyed/injured.

The dance is too simple or repetitive and the follower is getting bored.

(note that "too complicated" or "too simple" are relative terms as defined by that particular follower at that time to that music. I'm not trying to state an absolute.)

 

[Zoopsia59]

When your buddy dances with her and says, "Wow! She was awesome. You should have danced with her before she left to go back to Europe, never to return."

Haha.

 

[Zoopsia59]

For the most part I do not judge by look. Too many variables. And one of my tango goals is to be able to dance with anyone and have it be interesting and fun.

A worthy goal and far more fun (and useful) to strive for than all this guesswork and evaluation of others. It basically means you feel you have a large responsibility for how the dance goes rather than just looking for the partners who will please you. Taking that responsibility also increases your chances of having a good time! Think about it, if you have the ability to create a interesting, engaging and connected dance with almost anyone, you will have an interesting, engaging and connected evening when you go out.

I really wish people would spend more time evaluating how they are as partners and less time worrying about the "flaws" of others who "don't measure up".

Seriously, social dancing should come with the attitude:
"How can I make this the most fabulous dance ever for my partner"

not:
"Will this person measure up to my high standards that I demand of anyone I deign to dance with?"

Ok. Actually, I just thought of a time when I got burned... I saw this girl dancing, smiling, and having a good time. She also seemed to have a good sense of musicality, so I had to dance with her. Turns out, she liked back-leading and used her partners as props and boleo stands.

Yeah... I saw a woman having a blast on the dance floor a few weeks back.. She was smiling, laughing, having the most fab time EVER. She was also drunk as a skunk and a hazard to everyone else out there.

 

[dchester]

When a follower starts to sing during a dance (understimulated?) I usually do more/faster steps.

I've never had that happen to me. I suppose my reaction would depend on whether I thought she was singing well or not.

 

[bastet]

Maybe I'd do that for a high energy nuevo tanda, but with a "connection" tanda, I'd want us both to stay in our comfort zone.

that's probably abut what'd I'd want to.

 

[LadyLeader]

Seriously, social dancing should come with the attitude:"How can I make this the most fabulous dance ever for my partner"

When thinking a dance situation I have in mind an old type of scale with two bowls and a T-formed construction keeping them in the air. I see the leader and follower represented by the bowls and the stick keeping them up is the music. When dancing we seek for balance around the music. And we both are concentrated on music!

I suppose we are looking for different things at different stages on tango road but today for me the balance in skill and attitude is important. I want a follower who can share a balance with me when we are clinging and whirling with the music.

I feel respect and gratitude for those followers who match my level today and who want to dance with me but I am not taking care of them when dancing. We are sharing a dance equally, totally focusing on the music above us!

Does this make my need of evaluation more understandable?

 

[bordertangoman]

Your formula assumes that the leader is the more skilled dancer.. .

this is theoretically possible even for me

.

perhaps the theoretical leader under discussion is not able to find limits to the follower's ability due to his/her own limits as a leader. What's the formula then? .

Formula is KISSAM: Keep It Simple Stupid and Musical

 

[doornail]

Singing = understimulated?

I think even more subtile signs for dissatisfaction are quite clear during a tanda. I know these:
When a follower starts to sing during a dance (understimulated?) I usually do more/faster steps.

I'm normally a lurker around here but I couldn't resist this. Followers, if you start to sing during a dance is it a sign of dissatisfaction? I always take singing as a good thing -- in fact I love it when it happens.

Just wanted to check that I haven't completely misinterpreted this and missed lots of 'cries for help' over the years! Everyone's different, of course...

 

[UKDancer]

I always take singing as a good thing -- in fact I love it when it happens.

Me too! At the very least, it suggests that my partner is aware that there IS music, and has made some connection with it.

Of course, if they're humming a different song, you know you're in trouble ...

And if you've been 'lurking' anyway, perhaps it's out of place, but welcome to DF.

 

[AndaBien]

Maybe I'd do that for a high energy nuevo tanda, but with a "connection" tanda, I'd want us both to stay in our comfort zone.

I agree. It's not necessary to go beyond ones comfort zone in order to have a great dance. Sometimes it's even counter productive.

 

[AndaBien]

... if you start to sing during a dance is it a sign of dissatisfaction? I always take singing as a good thing -- in fact I love it when it happens...

I don't interpret it as dissatisfaction, rather as a sign of distraction. I don't think it's possible for my partner to sing and still give full attention to the dance I am trying to give her. I don't think she, or I, could sing any more than we could talk and still give full attention to the dance.

 

[dchester]

A question to the followers:

Have any of you ever starting singing during a tanda, and if so, was it because you were really enjoying yourself, or was it because you were bored?

OK, I guess it's really a couple questions, but you get the idea (I'm trying to find out if I've been missing out on something).

 

[twnkltoz]

I never sing in public, but I can't talk and dance a good dance at the same time, other than the occasional "nice!" or "well led!" but if he's really keeping me on my toes, I can't even do that. The only ones I can converse with (I know, you're not supposed to, but if they start it I go along) are the beginners who don't do much. Even that's a struggle for me, but maybe singing takes less brain power than talking if you've heard the song a million times? Heck, with some leaders I don't have the breath to spare for talking or singing, let alone brain power.

 

[Zoopsia59]

I'm normally a lurker around here but I couldn't resist this. Followers, if you start to sing during a dance is it a sign of dissatisfaction? I always take singing as a good thing -- in fact I love it when it happens.

Just wanted to check that I haven't completely misinterpreted this and missed lots of 'cries for help' over the years! Everyone's different, of course...

I would thnk that if the follower is singing, it shows an unusual level of familiarity with the music playing, and that should be a good thing.

I suppose if she's singing a different song, that would indicate a problem you need to address!