How to flirt, and why.

I would say: Flirting is for fun, possibile initial stages, without necessarily having a target objective. Seduction implies there is a specific target and intent.
 
thing is, IME...and as fasc has pointed out on a number of occasions...men are often not swift on the uptake when it comes to nuances. so, too much "dangling the lure" "for fun" can quickly become an utter mess.

and geez... make that X10 if clear boundaries are not drawn between hot fun on the dance floor and Real Life.:rolleyes:
 
Okay. So somebody tell me why a tenth of a second touch on the arm dialed things up a billion notches. Did I unintentionally signal seduction?
 
OK, I will say again, flirtation is a possible subset of seduction. If I cook a targeted meal, set up an appropriate setting, use sights, sounds, scents, to my purpose, none of this is flirtation, all of this is seduction.
 
missing the logic in that. it doesn't matter in the scheme of things, but if seduction is a more intense version of flirting, how can flirting be a subset of seduction? seduction has the narrower scope, correct?
 
No, I would not call seduction a version of flirting. Seduction can include flirting, and flirting can be be used outside of seduction. Flirting is a tool, seduction is a result. Carpentry requires hammers, but I can use a hammer to crack nuts, too. So I will modify my previous statements on the relation of flirting to seduction.
 
If we're talking seduction then take the lip biting but add in her tongue rotating around those freshly bit lips.... and her mouth moving to the word 'elephants' (looks like someone is saying 'i love you' - someone told me that years ago. Hey, who put all this random crap in my head :D )
 
pygmalion said:
Okay. So somebody tell me why a tenth of a second touch on the arm dialed things up a billion notches. Did I unintentionally signal seduction?
Click to expand...
Because it was an invasion of his personal space, to the extreme degree of touch, which was allowed. The granting of access to your personal space, or the invasion of someone's personal space is a very intimate thing...and to cap that off with touching...when there has already been flirting involved...it's a shift. I would suggest that the fact that it happened in the workplace, where personal space invasion is a much bigger issue (never mind touching!), made it that much more significant.

Think about it. Personal space is a very, very powerful tool. It often signals dominance or submission in a relationship, as well as intimacy (not necessarily sexual) between two people. You just combined those. You, who have flirted but retained the power in the relationship (by making it clear--up until now--that the flirting won't go anywhere), just reinforced that dominance by moving into his personal space, and told him that you're changing the game (touching).

The fact that it was a product of exuberance and not a change in your feelings...well, that's something you know, but how was he to know?
 
So somebody tell me why a tenth of a second touch on the arm dialed things up a billion notches. Did I unintentionally signal seduction?
Click to expand...

It's not you, it's him. Really. Now you know you can't give him a friendly touch without him reading too much into it.
 
I'm not a toucher, which I think is strange since I dance socially? But when I'm sitting and talking to someone and I reach over and touch his arm when I laugh, it's not even a conscious attempt to flirt, it just happens. and it definitely is a clear signal of interest.

And I guess its why normally very touchy people confuse me, especially when I find them attractive, like what should I read in to this?
 
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