Looking for a regular dedicated Tango Leader (male 40-50yrs), in Sydney Australia in the Northern Beaches

JournalInTime said:
Specific answers depend on the rumors you're willing to live with: Are you willing to live with rumors that you're married and not looking when you are looking? That you're chasing skirts when you aren't looking? That you're gay when you're straight? That you're straight when you're gay? That whatever your marital status and sexual orientation, you're looking for more than a dance partner?
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Sure, but in the OP's case, she wanted a single guy because a wife might be jealous, but specifically wanted a straight guy? I don't see any logic there.
 
TTanguero said:
Sure, but in the OP's case, she wanted a single guy because a wife might be jealous, but specifically wanted a straight guy? I don't see any logic there.
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Maybe she wants a straight, unmarried man who could pass as her life partner without scandal – even with nosy people who look into the chap – without the express intention of doing more than dancing?

I know several women who want to work with a tanguero who doesn't come with the stress or scandal of a jealous partner (so, verifiably single), but who lends them the look of having more than a dance partner (so, verifiably straight) without an age gap that could raise questions. This is often with a view to looking "taken" so that creeps back off. In a small or (more likely) gossipy community where "single," "straight," and "close in age" are trivial to verify, immunization against creeps works only if every part of the illusion checks out.

In fact, I know a couple of lesbians who have no interest in men who do this. They turn up with a handsome chap of about their age, who is well-known to prefer women and to be single and looking for women. That way, they're shielded against unwelcome advances by social pressure without ever having to "come out" to people they don't know.
 
TTanguero said:
Sure, but in the OP's case, she wanted a single guy.. specifically.. a straight guy? I don't see any logic there.
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So my (as a leader) logic in those years as a tango beginner was the following: groom several dance partners with different experiences at the same time. The best may be your life partner. As soon as you lose her, the second best is allowed to move up and so on. That's how I spent my early years with tango and I didn't ski badly.
 
My 2 cents -

A number of posters have commented on the unlikelihood of OP finding a partner by posting on dance forums. That may be true, but on the other hand the internet is a funny thing. If there is someone in Sydney looking for a tango partner, and they match what OP is looking for, they may very well come across this thread via an internet search, even if they are not a member of the forum. No harm in OP posting here with what she is looking for, and there is some chance it might even work.

And the details of what OP is seeking need only make sense to OP and to their prospective partner. It doesn't really matter if any of us think it makes sense for her to look for XYZ in a partner.

As for all the helpful advice mostly from male leaders about how a female follower should go about finding a dance partner, whether having a partner is useful, etc ... all I can say is that it is a whole different ballgame from the female follower perspective when looking for a partner for dancing. Everyone is free to share their input on the internet, of course. But I hope OP isn't being discouraged by some of the advice coming her way from some of the people posting here.

Good luck in your search, @Nicola ! And if you don't find exactly who you are looking for, I hope you enjoy your dance journey regardless.

raindance
 
pianistamediano said:
In my experience, the older a follower is, the more they tend to be less precise in stepping to the music, no matter how fast or slow the music is. Not that there aren't any who can do so pretty much perfectly, but with the inevitable consequences of time, the lag between hearing the music and stepping tends to widen. Additionally, they tend to feel too heavy or too light - probably a consequence of not making up enough for any loss in physical ability, balance or body coordination in general, or just an inability to do so. Or it could just be a matter of mass.
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Wow. Just: wow.
 
It's a losing battle everyone faces as they ages - physical and mental infirmity tends to increase, reflexes slow, bones creak, muscles ache, etc.. Taking care of our body and regular exercise - among other things - helps, but we can't really delay the effects of age until we find some magical elixir of body rejuvenation. :shrugs:
 
ProgressNotPerfection said:
I don't understand what you mean. Can you please elaborate?
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Here in Europe we have a more relaxed relationship to the term age discrimination. In an online discussion US participants where shocked when a European organizer said she hosts tango marathons for a physically fit under-40's audience. Also made it clear to interested persons in their 60's that hardly anyone would dance with them.
 
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pianistamediano said:
It's a losing battle everyone faces as they ages - physical and mental infirmity tends to increase, reflexes slow, bones creak, muscles ache, etc.. Taking care of our body and regular exercise - among other things - helps, but we can't really delay the effects of age until we find some magical elixir of body rejuvenation. :shrugs:
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Heading right off topic...

Consider the old milongueros (e.g. Portalea, Petaca, etc) and tangueras (e.g. Nieves) who were lauded for what they also demonstrated in AT when older. It's not the years; it's the mileage and experience gained (and perhaps avoiding some 'nuevo' moves). It's just a different approach.
pianistamediano said:
In my experience, the older a follower is, the more they tend to be less precise in stepping to the music, no matter how fast or slow the music is.
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Experience, along with time honing the skills, can make it more 'precise'. I'd put precision down more to an experienced dancer rather than a beginner/novice. It's really about when people start to learn dance. It tends to be an older generation, with money, who have time after the kids have left, and interest from a younger, unattached, generation. When you have other responsibilities then you don't have time or money. So you end up with older beginner/novices who may not be 'precise'.

Aging in dance/tango skills and the impact is a whole separate topic.
 
Brummbaer said:
Consider the old milongueros (e.g. Portalea, Petaca, etc) and tangueras (e.g. Nieves) who were lauded for what they also demonstrated in AT when older. It's not the years; it's the mileage and experience gained (and perhaps avoiding some 'nuevo' moves). It's just a different approach.
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My idols are the old milongueros, and I admire their efficiency and economy of movement, so you have a very good point. However, I very rarely meet or see such great dancers, so it is rare for me to see a dancer where accumulated experience and skill [?] make up for any non-negligible reduction in physical/mental capability due to greater age. I'd say (with some hesitation) that outside of Buenos Aires, excluding the milonguer@s who travel, you'd have extreme difficulty in finding more than a couple.
Brummbaer said:
Experience, along with time honing the skills, can make it more 'precise'. I'd put precision down more to an experienced dancer rather than a beginner/novice. It's really about when people start to learn dance. It tends to be an older generation, with money, who have time after the kids have left, and interest from a younger, unattached, generation. When you have other responsibilities then you don't have time or money. So you end up with older beginner/novices who may not be 'precise'.
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Yes, I'd agree that precision comes after experience in dance. And I realise that I should have made clear the context in which I was writing my post: in most, if not all, of the communities I've danced at, there do tend to be older beginners/novices, or experienced people who began dancing at an older age, and their precision tends to vary.

Also, I may be judging them too unfairly, since I am very sensitive to the music, and it gets more annoying the more imprecise we (the follower and I) become.
 
Brummbaer said:
Heading right off topic...
Consider the old milongueros.. e.g. Portalea, Petaca.. and tangueras Nieves.. who were lauded for what they also demonstrated ..when older.. Aging in dance.. is a whole separate topic.
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I don't completely agree with you, but it's an important topic (even off topic) and it's also my topic.
Portalea, Nives and company are not milongueros or milongueras. They are full professionals and in the case of Portalea a semi-professional. They could earn their living with unusual figures and combinations. They owe their fame on YT to their exclusivity and isolation. They weren't social dancers like us. We both are milongueros, but not the ones you mentioned. I am more in favor of deconstructing such myths than perpetuating them further. I'm a bit sensitive because I would have liked to switch to the profs' camp. Just one accident and never-ending knee surgeries put a end to such goals for me.
 
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