I don’t know what the ratio in general population is. Personally I have always felt that there are disproportionately far more introverted in social partner dancing that in general life. Is above survey self-reported.
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I don’t know what the ratio in general population is. Personally I have always felt that there are disproportionately far more introverted in social partner dancing that in general life. Is above survey self-reported.
I saw that term recently. When it comes to tango, the above describes me aptly. But that doesn’t replace my extroversion or introversion. It is a characteristic in addition to that.
You can say I have an aversion to buying into tango social groups. Which why dancing based on prioritizing familiarity over all other attributes is an anathema to me. Unfortunately, that happens to be number one criteria in how people chose dance partners.
That’s a very common description. However there are many social introverts. It means they do like socializing but find it draining when it is shallow socializing in large groups/parties. More depth than breadth.
I agree. To me there's a spectrum. Even an introvert in some situations can become the extrovert enjoying that party. For other 'introverts' it's anathema.
That is an interesting aspect. I won't buy into some social groupings (let's say, for example, the moneyed golfing set). Similarly with some perceived tango groupings. However, within those, you can find other like-minded people and that in itself forms a social set, or clique. An example might be older couples with another set of younger solos. Which all seems very similar to reports of the old barrios in the 1930s. I suspect, as you age, your perspective may change.
My issue with familiarity is that it de-prioritizes merit or in the specific case of tango - the skills. I have good friends with whom I get along and vibe very well. But they may not either have same desire to excel at tango (i.e. get better) or lacking in skills to be mediocre. I find similar dynamics in tango social groups. It is like nepotism or cronyism. And it is not liberating (to dance based on familiarity as number one criteria).
That’s why for me some of the best milonga experiences have been as a visitor. I know no one. And no one knows me. The familiarity is totally absent.
Yes,that can be the case if everyone slumps to the lowest level. However I also find that some, at some venues, fit into 'mediocre' anyway. Equally some within the social circle are equally interested in improving - and can share notes. I guess you need to have a sufficiently large set from which to select. But then again, how can I consider myself 'advanced' if I can't dance with the 'mediocre' - who make up the majority? (I don't consider myself 'advanced', but better than some; worse than others.)
Miradamiranda
Well-Known Member
This I can relate to. When there’s no expectations but the tanda becomes a really pleasant surprise from both sides. Both in situations where I don’t know anyone or with people I don’t know visiting my scene.
There’s often a feeling of sadness that I don’t know whenever or if ever I’ll get to dance with these people again. So let’s make the most of it. Some turn into long distance favorites that I might see once or twice a year.
Indeed, I had many good experiences with the visitors.
I haven’t been traveling in the last few years. Therefore this aspect has diminished significantly.
JournalInTime
Forum Master
The one where women are always followers and are expected to sit around demurely while men who are always leaders invite them vs. today, where anybody can dance any role and invite anybody. The old-timey invitation model doesn't fly in 2025 – least of all among people who actually fly in 2025 and see lots of cultures. My experience over the short years from when I started tango in 2013 to present, women lead more, and those who follow invite more, than they used to.
As for whether "growing up with my neighborhood milonguer@s" is old-timey . . . yeah, it might be. But that's less about externally imposed gender roles and expectations (as in the previous paragraph) than about physical mobility from region to region (I'm not well-off, so it's a given that I'll be dancing with the same people at the same places). I guess my socioeconomic reality might be unfairly old-timey in some way, but I'm not enough of a social scientist to figure out how.
TTanguero
Forum Master
See, this is where I (kind of) disagree.
I'm an introvert. I've always half-joked that my ideal number of companions ranges from zero to one.
But put me in the right situation and I'm an extremely sociable introvert. Many people who meet me in a social situation, like a milonga, mistake me for an extrovert. I tend to be the one who organises things, including group get-togethers, At milongas, you will find me dancing from the very first tanda to the very last.
The difference between me and an extrovert is that the latter will go home full of energy and probably bouncing around, whereas I will smile a satisfied smile at the evening and then collapse. So I disagree that introversion or extroversion tells you anything at all about what happens at the milonga. It only tells you what happens afterwards.
I’m a huge introvert (in terms of the definition of how I recharge my energy), but my usual spot at most milongas is near the bar instead of sitting at a table, so I end up socializing a lot more than dancing some nights.
Reason being this makes me a lot approachable for both men and women, and a lot of places it’s an ideal spot to cabeceo around the room, and also I sit down all day for work so rather not sit at night.
On a side note, I noticed I’m wary of regular single guys who rarely socialize with other guys at the milonga. There are some exceptions, but I view them as only being interested in tango to get with women rather than for the love of the dance/community.
Reason being this makes me a lot approachable for both men and women, and a lot of places it’s an ideal spot to cabeceo around the room, and also I sit down all day for work so rather not sit at night.
On a side note, I noticed I’m wary of regular single guys who rarely socialize with other guys at the milonga. There are some exceptions, but I view them as only being interested in tango to get with women rather than for the love of the dance/community.
Tango Distance
Well-Known Member
JournalInTime's statement that extroverts make better mind reader dancers is great food for thought! I get the argument that extroverts will work harder to get dances, and get better due to more dances. Here are various thoughts:
- Shyness and introversion are different things (though they tend to be correlated). Interactions are hard for shy people. Introverts can be very social and enjoy a party, but will need recharge time.
- Great short page that had info I had not seen before on introversion vs. extroversion: Introverts' and Extroverts' Brains Really Are Different, According to Science
- JiT, if you haven't already done a Myers-Briggs test, I highly recommend taking it. It was shocking good in describing me. It measures me to be very introverted (but I'm not shy).
- I think introversion, and my tech mind, affect my dancing. My best instructor would say "You're thinking again!" Introverts tend to think things through before they do them. They often pause as they speak. I would slow down, as I felt I needed to mentally animate the dance ahead of doing it. The instructor said I would not be able to think fast enough, that I needed to dance instinctively. I have actively worked on trying to just do things rather than think out the play and then perform it. Bad news: I now can't explain how to do everything that I can instinctively dance. Good news: I'm a better and faster dancer.
- Broad brush: Extroverts tend to think faster. That can be good for dance! Introverts tend to think more slowly, but more deeply. Maybe that's good for really understanding the dance, and inventing new steps?
- In my Not Touchy Feely thread, it came up that some don't like small talk and some don't like eye contact. Tango gives them a way to interact with others in another way.
TTanguero
Forum Master
Yes, I think it's a common characteristic of introverts to either not understand the point of small talk and/or to be extremely uninterested in it. That was certainly true for me for most of my life. I really couldn't understand why someone would start a conversation on a topic that was unlikely to be of interest to either party! I was rather late in realising that the content wasn't the point, that it was just a method of inviting a connection.
I am not sure if that is what he said. Usually it is introverts who are more perspective and can sense what the others are thinking or feeling. I rarely ever seen extroverts able to do anywhere close to introverts.
not necessary that extroverts get more dances and therefore get better. Who gets more dances depends on how regular you are and your perceived social status by the others. The higher your social status is perceived the more dances you will have.
If more dancing made people better, what about those who haven’t gotten better after 10 years or more of dancing.
People can get better through more dancing. They need to have both a mindset and a skill. How fast or slow people learn differs. It might take one person 5 dances to get better at say x, it might take another person 8 dances to get better at x. With so many variables, adding another of extroversion/introversion is questionable.
I am good at small talk but I don’t dont enjoy indulging in it.