pre-competition disorder

@FancyFeet , so glad you posted an update. I still don't think you should have to pay for any of his flight. He deliberately withheld it from you, at least that's what it sounds like. If he wants the "luxury" of flying, then he covers the additional expense and keeps your costs the same. I hope this gets resolved and doesn't affect your competition too much!!
 
  • I gave him that I could have confirmed that nothing had changed since our discussions before sending payment for my entries. And agreed to do so for any future comps that may occur.

My snarky response to this attitude of his is does he think you need to reconfirm each lesson before you head to the studio as well? Usually, the way communication works is that if somebody changes their mind about something they've said--and it's important(ish)--they let the other person know.

I do recognize that people sometimes say things in defense of themselves during a disagreement/discussion that they wouldn't with more thought. And that one needs to pick one's battles. ;) Enjoy the competition and dance well!
 
Wow. I wish I were as clear and frank and as able to stand up for myself as you are FF.

Now, rather than mistrust, you may find you and your pro communicate better in future. Can I be you when I grow up? [For those not aware, FF is decades younger than me.]
 
LOL. You have no idea how much agonizing went into me being able to express myself like that. I'm terrible about putting me first, and setting boundaries, but I'm working on it.

And @RiseNFall I think much the same... but giving him that point cost me nothing and it really didn't matter to me.

Not sure what this will mean for the future, but I am packed, currently trying to apply as many coats of tan as I can before bed (because I really should have started 2 days ago), and planning to leave for comp in the morning... so I am parking that line of thinking until next week.
 
Not sure what this will mean for the future, but I am packed, currently trying to apply as many coats of tan as I can before bed (because I really should have started 2 days ago), and planning to leave for comp in the morning... so I am parking that line of thinking until next week.

Good luck!!
 
Along similar lines- last year I faced a situation regarding a comp I had agreed to. It was myself and another student. For her, it was a big comp, right before USDC. For me it was nothing more than just a comp, but was part of a circuit that I was aiming to place in the top 5 female students. About 6 weeks before comp, I found out that this comp was no longer part of the circuit. I had already paid pro his fees and expenses. I had not paid the comp my entries at that point. I mentioned to pro that I may not go, for the reason mentioned. Plus my astrologer said it was a bad time to go... please don’t mock me...she’s always been accurate in her transit readings for me. Pro was not happy, but he did say he would return his fees, but he could not refund his expenses which were split between myself and the other student. I understand that it was not her fault and he didn’t want her to pay all his expenses. However, it was 6 weeks before, so it was not going to be a last minute cancellation.
I ended up going- my astrologer was correct- I had major challenges with cancelled flight, paying extra for a flight out of a different location and lot of other hassles. I did enjoy the comp and pro was relaxed enough to sit with me and watch most of the sessions when we were not competing and point out stuff which I would not know. I learned a lot and attended a couple of great seminars. My dancing was good too.
Question- when is it ok, if ever, to drop out of a comp? Is six weeks adequate notice?
Second- was pro right in not refunding me his travel expenses?

Thanks for responding
 
Along similar lines- last year I faced a situation regarding a comp I had agreed to. It was myself and another student. For her, it was a big comp, right before USDC. For me it was nothing more than just a comp, but was part of a circuit that I was aiming to place in the top 5 female students. About 6 weeks before comp, I found out that this comp was no longer part of the circuit. I had already paid pro his fees and expenses. I had not paid the comp my entries at that point. I mentioned to pro that I may not go, for the reason mentioned. Plus my astrologer said it was a bad time to go... please don’t mock me...she’s always been accurate in her transit readings for me. Pro was not happy, but he did say he would return his fees, but he could not refund his expenses which were split between myself and the other student. I understand that it was not her fault and he didn’t want her to pay all his expenses. However, it was 6 weeks before, so it was not going to be a last minute cancellation.
I ended up going- my astrologer was correct- I had major challenges with cancelled flight, paying extra for a flight out of a different location and lot of other hassles. I did enjoy the comp and pro was relaxed enough to sit with me and watch most of the sessions when we were not competing and point out stuff which I would not know. I learned a lot and attended a couple of great seminars. My dancing was good too.
Question- when is it ok, if ever, to drop out of a comp? Is six weeks adequate notice?
Second- was pro right in not refunding me his travel expenses?

Thanks for responding
Yes and yes
 
Question- when is it ok, if ever, to drop out of a comp? Is six weeks adequate notice?
Second- was pro right in not refunding me his travel expenses?

Thanks for responding


you can always drop out of a comp - things happen. you can't always expect not to pay for it. Since the other person had already paid for her share, and had possibly agreed to participate due to the cost share, eating the pros expenses is pretty common for this situation
 
I’m really surprised to hear that I’m still expected to split pros expenses, even when dropping out after more than adequate notice.
I don’t agree with it, but thanks for giving your perspective.
Especially as a lot of $$ are involved.
 
Not really overly nervous for the next competition - mainly normal pre-comp feelings, but I a nervous about someone else doing my hair! sigh. gonna have to get over that.
 
20180731_080043_resized.jpgFilling out this form should be terrifying... this 10-dance thing is happening. In a few weeks, I will no longer be a #closettendancer

The last time I competed latin was in 2014(?). I think it was in pre-bronze/bronze 1. I don't have a jive yet, and am still flubbing/faking one part in my samba and the last 16 counts of my paso. My dress is not finished (although is at least starting to look like a dress).

At least standard is great. The only thing I'm worried about there is the plan to finally put fleckerls out in competition, and if I freak out on those during rounds in the next couple of weeks, I know I can veto.

Despite all that, anxiety is at tolerable levels. That feels very strange.
 

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