Question to Leaders about Followers

TA_RA said:
I keep on hearing from different Leaders that all followers are very different. Is it true?
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Even as an 'advanced beginner' I feel (and know) the difference in many of the followers in our local tango community. My significant other is my main partner, so of course I am used to, and comfortable with her. In our local tango scene, there are a couple 'wispy' (thin and fragile) followers that I have to use finesse with, then there are many 'right-sized' followers like my partner that I can dance with the same as I do with my partner, a couple ladies who are somewhat expressive, with two in particular who are very expressive, so with those I 'push-the-envelope' of my skill level.

Since I'm naturally fit and muscular, almost all followers I dance with want it in the close embrace, some cheek-to-cheek. The two who are the most expressive also want a super tight, close embrace, all of which can be a little difficult for me to lead (but I manage somehow). I will say, they have all made me a better dancer, which includes being cognizant of the 'style' I have to adapt to with each of them.

TA_RA said:
Do you feel that majority of followers well balanced and feel their axis?
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Yes, for the most part followers are pretty well-balanced and on their axis, but once in a while the beginners (understandably) won't be 100% of the time.

TA_RA said:
Why do you think some ladies are more pleasant to dance with than others?
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Other leaders might agree, the things that make some followers more pleasant than others is how sociable and friendly they are, past experience in knowing how well they respond to inputs, maintaining the embrace properly and their axis, that they are right-sized (not too far out of the height range), and are quick to adjust to 'mistakes' (by either of us).

One thing that I've observed and is quite common are those energetic young ladies (also known as PYT's or pretty young things) who are always popular with a variety of leaders. My significant other and I are in our 60's (and we both look much younger) and make a very attractive couple. She is quite beautiful and wears fashionable clothes, and has been dancing tango for over 20 years so she's quite good. You'd think she'd be highly desirable anywhere she goes, but it seems to be hit-and-miss, depending on the milonga or studio. There seems to be some leaders who are in our local community who've never asked her to dance, which is perplexing to her.

Since we are well-known as a couple, many leaders tend to avoid her and stick to the partnerless followers. While this can be challenge if there are more followers than leaders, it can be the opposite if there are more leaders than followers. If I'm dancing with another follower than my significant other, there always seems to be a leader who'll step in and dance with her. Essentially, the leader-follower balance is a key thing.

However, being a leader I have much better luck dancing with others, but usually stick to followers I know, or who are at my level. Since I'm an 'advanced beginner' I stick to women who aren't too flashy or showy, and at 5'10" I look for followers who are about the right size for me.

Hope this helps. Cheers!
 
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Mr. Moustachio said:
Does it make a difference if the follower doesn't put her hand on your back? (Her hand is on your bicep or shoulder blade or back of your neck.)
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It depends whether it's in a death grip or dynamic - like my arm around the follower's back in our abrazo. Depends what we're dancing (tango/milonga) but I expect that the follower's hand and abrazo, along with mine, will adapt to the moves we're doing.

And, of course, some followers, for whatever reason, don't choose close hold. We can still have a pleasant tanda.
 
Tango Newbie in San Diego said:
There seems to be some leaders who are in our local community who've never asked her to dance, which is perplexing to her.
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Internet diagnosis: here's your culprit

"This is exactly how my 'experienced' girlfriend and partner sees it. The leaders are just the 'pole' to dance around so she can be the exhibitionist she is."

Tango as it crosses over with the relationships, seduction and sexuality

Ballet isn't tango – and from a training perspective, that's the main reason why. Equating performance dance to partner dance is a really dubious proposition at best. Not at all. There's a reason why most of the top followers in the world have a serious ballet background, some at the...
www.dance-forums.com www.dance-forums.com

"being an 'exhibitionist "only needs a body to dance around that allows her to display her talents""

Having problems with my wife dancing with other men

Yup... is Raul Julia starring in Tango Bar.
www.dance-forums.com www.dance-forums.com
 
TA_RA said:
Hi guys, out of curiosity, do you have any classification for the followers?
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The classification begins as soon as I enter the room. One group of women sees me, the other does not, and that since years. Well, if the latter ever want to dance with me, they'd have to do a damn good mirada. Personally, I prefer women with whom I can have a good conversation, even if we hardly ever dance together. But such a skill is quite rare.
 
Rabbit said:
Sounds like actually they classified you years ago.
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Yes, it's really amazing how you can get used to dancing aside by aside.
As a beginner, I asked myself how I was ever supposed to dance relaxed with women who didn't dance with beginners. Now I know that the question was wrongly asked. As a rule, I can now dance relaxed with all women. And if they don't see me, then we just don't dance.
Well, I now talked to a non-dance partner at an event because we were sitting at the same table. And one of them said hello because we met on a narrow stairway. So maybe something will happen in the next few years...
 
Brummbaer said:
A case for the thread: Why women don't want to dance with some men?
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I'm not complaining, and I do not expect an answer.
After about a year I found that while there were attractive women and lots of fun in tango, there were no suitable teachers for the milonguero style in my hometown and the local milongas were also rather modest.
So that's not exactly the way to endear yourself to established dancers and hierarchies.
 
itwillhappen said:
I'm not complaining, and I do not expect an answer.
After about a year I found that while there were attractive women and lots of fun in tango, there were no suitable teachers for the milonguero style in my hometown and the local milongas were also rather modest.
So that's not exactly the way to endear yourself to established dancers and hierarchies.
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Indeed, but nonetheless a fascinating insight, even a little painful, into the female perception - providing there were sufficient responses (which I'd guess was unlikely).
 
Brummbaer said:
Indeed, but nonetheless a fascinating insight, even a little painful, into the female perception - providing there were sufficient responses (which I'd guess was unlikely).
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I think it's basically about group affiliations and conflicts of interest, and not specifically about female behavior. But of course I asked my girlfriend for her opinion, and as I said, I'm not complaining.
 
When I started tango I thought everyone was brilliant! There was a follower in my class who was amazing, elegant, poised and balanced. She was dancing three weeks! :D

I’ve danced with “really good” leaders that I don’t rate at all. I’ve observed very middling followers (IMO) lauded as the next best dancer and future pro. Etc etc etc.

The only way to know is to dance with a lot of different people and see who is compatible. Take all opinions with a pinch of salt. I’ve heard many a leader complain that short followers hurt their backs when it’s actually their own terrible posture at issue.
 
ardix said:
For the same/similar reason that men don't want to dance with some women?!
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Lounge lizard (and modern synonyms) is typically, but not wholly, a description of a male, who may also be handsy. Sure, that can apply to either gender, but given the typical(!) perceived male brain priorities, I suspect many males would be queuing up for a dance opportunity there.

But perceived personality is certainly a reason.
 
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