This feels like a weird perspective to me because if you already have an attractive partner, then surely your goal at the milonga is not to get more attractive partners but to have fun, socialize, connect with others. I find that in my scenes at least, the people who want to date, grind, flirt have other dances that have much lower barriers than a dance as formal as tango. And the crowds there are usually a bit bigger.
I don’t think he’s talking about goals, but if you have an attractive partner it means you have higher social status, that’s not even tango exclusive, it applies to real life in general, especially a guy with an attractive woman.
In the context of a milonga, it's about being "attractive" as a dance partner - in sum of all your attributes. In that sense, it's of course my goal to dance with other attractive women. And that simply works better for various reasons when you have an attractive partner by your side. One reason could also be that I can take it in stride whether a particular woman wants to dance with me or not. Cabeceo or not and done.
We're both experienced dancers and we met through tango. We dance "full contact" with each other, and not necessarily more reserved with others. But by definition, "flirting" is limited to one (or maybe a second) tanda, and "dating" is limited to information about the next milonga.
Not really. 'Arm Candy', or 'trophy wife', isn't always a desirable look, and doesn't assign high social status - especially for the possessor of the 'arm' (why does it always reference the woman?). Consider a certain person referenced in 'files'! As a real interview question went: But what first attracted you to the millionaire...
not sure why you immediately designate it as “arm candy” or “trophy wife” as if the guy is assumed super hideous or old. I’m just saying when an average/random guy has an attractive partner, it usually signals something positive about that guy - either he has money, a unique skill/position, an amazing personality etc which is linked to higher status. There’s the rare exception (at least these days among younger people) that they were just high school sweethearts.
Not here. We're more egalitarian and just laugh, and mock, that pretentiousness
. We might still have a king, but we don't hold them in awe. By an accident of birth, they're doomed to ceremonially represent the country.Where’s “here”? I find it quite universal when a guy is dating/married to someone way more attractive than he is, people assume there’s something really positive going for the guy to attract that woman (money/status/skill etc) to “punch above his weight” rather than pretentiousness. It may be only pretentious if it’s something like “arm candy” like you said where it’s obviously transactional (smug rich guy and gold digger) but that’s just one scenario rather than the norm.Not here. We're more egalitarian and just laugh, and mock, that pretentiousness
wonder how much “dance attractiveness” trumps “social attractiveness”. By that I mean the layer of positive stuff that only dancers care about like someone being a DJ or band, the type of shoes they are wearing, seeing them often at practicas and festivals, posture, the partner laughing their heads off when being walked off the tanda, etc.
I’d argue participating in high-level marathons makes you dance attractive since it requires time, money and a higher level of dance.
The feeling of being overwhelmed at such an event isn't pleasant for leaders, nor is the experience of followers known from local milongas beeing repulsive and eager to mingle with the big boys. However, this does make you more relaxed at your local milongas afterwards.
I don't think that's true. It's very subtle, which makes it intriguing, and the expression on followers' faces makes it clear that it's enjoyable.
Congratulations! I still remember your posts from the early days. How dissatisfied you were with beeing accepted as an Asian. That you, as a musician, found it difficult to translate what you heard into dance. That you also lacked the resources to keep up in the international tango event circuit.
No, it still doesn't look attractive! How it feels though... I'll leave it to the followers to decide!