The long-term solution is dual-role dancing?

pianistamediano said:
Apropos of citrus, I find that my favourite detail that (not nearly enough!) bartenders do for certain cocktails is expressing the oils; it's such a lovely, quiet touch, and it adds a subtle new dimension to the drink.
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Sooo off-topic: Yes, twist or pinch the piece of peel over the glass so the oils fall on the surface of the drink, run the oily peel around the rim of the glass to put a little flavor there, and finally drop it in with the outside (colorful side) facing away from the glass for flavor rather than toward the glass for looks. For some drinks, it's worth flaming the expressed oils; use a lit wooden match (adds a smoky taste), not a paper one (chemical), never mind a lighter or crème brûlée torch (ugh, hydrocarbon residue!). In all cases, you want to make sure to cut the peel with as little pith as possible or it'll be bitter.

I do this for my home cocktails. It makes all the difference. My dear partner (in life and in dance) doesn't find her Negroni complete without a thin strip of orange peel, expressed and (in winter only!) flamed.
 
ardix said:
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That should be viewed by leaders as well!
Brummbaer said:
should male (let's not get into gender viewpoints) followers switch shoes to 'high heels' when following?
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Answer my own question! No. Emphatically NO!

I recognised most of the points raised in that video and concluded that was what I was doing, and that was what my wife had been taught by better teachers.

I've never had an issue with shorter followers in flats. In fact one, as described, who was extremely good. The issue has been more with the extremely tall and where to look, or put your head:oops:

(We had one set of teachers who had a thing about the follower keeping their heel to the floor when stepping back for safety reasons - hitting someone with a stiletto. Only people we've ever met with that view:oops:. Possible, yes, from previous dance experience, but I'll go with the manner described in the video as better all round.)

I'll take it that follower's high heels are an absolute vanity choice with motivations beyond dance (as a mere male I can't hope to understand the motivations:rolleyes:). My wife sometimes wears that Grecian slipper style for practice. Pity some designer and manufacturer can't come up with good looking flats for the milonga.
 
itwillhappen said:
I'm currently reading a nice rant on the subject:



Well, I think that's classic womansplaining. How is a woman supposed to know what men's motives and concerns are?
Personally, I'm just wondering whether that will be attractive enough for the mainstream. And what will happen will happen anyway, it's practically impossible to predict or influence it.

In keeping with this, I recently read on Facebook a tanguera's complaint about a festival. She led as far as she could at the afternoon milongas, but in the evening she would rather be in the arms of men who dance well. Who, immature as older men are, were more interested in much younger women. It seems that the fact that all of this can't fit together hasn't gotten around yet.
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Honestly I haven’t heard of any men complaining about women leading at milongas. We have our fair share of women who want to try leading at the milongas. No there aren’t equal number of men wanting to follow. Men do learn following. It doesn’t translate to following at milongas. Neither do the female leaders ask the men who they know can follow. They will mostly ask other women. We have a tiny number of switchers who will switch the role during a tanda. When I have watched switchers they aren’t good at either role.

My only issue with double role women is not able to tell whether they are now in leader-mode, follower-mode, either-mode. That is the confusing part. Some change shoes and some don’t. I could verbally ask which mode they are in at the moment. Why bother when there are others who want to follow.
 
pianistamediano said:
These cases happen, and I believe that it is the responsibility of teachers, experienced dancers and organisers to help dancers who might not know better, and prevent anyone from forcing or even just making a dancer feel obliged to dance with them. Without consent, there is no tango. Everyone has the right to accept or decline an invitation.
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Where I am this is always informed to the beginners from day one and dancers are reminded often. Unless someone has been hiding in the cave, this is known. People need to have an agency. The reason that guy gets around being pushy is that not enough followers have said no to him.

I was last night talking to a follower friend during a carpool after the milonga about guys who monopolize followers by striking a conversation during cortina and then ambushing them to ask when the tanda starts. I don’t mind conversation when I am in the sidelines and it is a second or a third song. When a follower starts a conversation during cortina and continues it, I feel trapped. Fortunately that rarely happens. If we already danced a tanda then I don’t feel trapped. I will freely cabaceo someone else while the conversation continues.
 
pianistamediano said:
All things being equal (dance compatibility, body type, clothes, height when wearing their choice of footwear, etc.), I would cabeceo the follower wearing heels over a follower wearing flats. :)
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It makes absolutely no difference to me. I may be slightly more partial to a follower wearing flats. In my experience flat wearers are often good to excellent dancers.

At evening milongas I don’t see flats unless they changed to switch the roles, or feet issues.
 
Tangogal said:
As a, now middle-aged, follower I am still one of the youngest in Tango.

Leaders will bypass me for many reasons including that I am too old for their preferences. If they prefer to dance with a woman young enough to be their granddaughter then so what? They both have fun and I am not missing out because I will dance with the leaders that like short, middle-aged, bespectacled followers.
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Would it change if you were not short or not wearing glasses ? :)

BTW in your milongas you should be a pyt being one of the youngest :P In my home scene except for a very few milongas which are mostly 65+, you would be in the most common age group.

At milongas it can be hard to tell who is younger and who is older. Half of our followers are East Asians. A 40 can look like 25 and a 50 can look like 30. A friend of mine (Caucasian) looked like she was in 20s when she was actually in 40s. Guys in 20s and early 30s use to hit on her. She had a son who was in his early twenties.

There are a couple of ladies older or otherwise. I would ask them because they would be seating for a long time and no one would be asking them. After sometime I found they won’t look towards where I might be. So I stopped asking.

As I get older it is becoming odd. I don’t look any different than how I looked ten or fifteen years back. Both younger and older followers think I am much younger than I am and expect me to be like others in not-older age group!
 
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