What are the technical elements of a pleasant embrace?

[LadyLeader]

Really good points. I like hearing your perspective. I appreciate that you give back by dancing with beginners!

I hate it when I see followers just sitting. But i definitely understand where you are coming from.

I am having a milonga in my town next month. I have an idea if anyone wants to comment.

I am thinking of having one or two tandas be ladies choice.

Thoughts??

I would prefer a friendship dance with someone new! One or two songs together and then to next new dancer at a sound signal. Songs for curious exploring!

During the years I was following a leader turned out to be some kind of tango soul mate. Our steps fit together naturally and an experienced Argentine macho commented positively our beginner dance. The only reason I can think of must have been some kind of similarity on how we moved. These friendship tandas are an opportunity to test and find these dancers similar to yourself.

If not so lucky there is always the option to explore the learned skills with someone new!

 

[Be Present]

I would prefer a friendship dance with someone new! One or two songs together and then to next new dancer at a sound signal. Songs for curious exploring!

During the years I was following a leader turned out to be some kind of tango soul mate. Our steps fit together naturally and an experienced Argentine macho commented positively our beginner dance. The only reason I can think of must have been some kind of similarity on how we moved. These friendship tandas are an opportunity to test and find these dancers similar to yourself.

If not so lucky there is always the option to explore the learned skills with someone new!

This is intriguing.

How would a friendship dance work? How would one explain it? It seems like the word ‘friend’ could be taken to mean people you are already familiar with.

I do like the idea of switching every song so that there is more variation.

In all honesty, some of my favorite tandas have been with people I never would have picked. One of my favorite partners is a 90 year old milonguero who is much shorter than me!

 

[pianistamediano]

How would a friendship dance work? How would one explain it? It seems like the word ‘friend’ could be tajen to mean people you are already familiar with.

It refers to developing new friendships

So the way things are done in some of the local milongas here, we announce a friendship tanda; we're allowed to invite in any way (cabeceo, verbal, whatever) anyone we want, respecting their decision to decline of course, and we dance for half a song to a full song and change partners every time. The idea is to meet and dance with someone you've never danced with before, and hopefully involve visitors + newbies too.

 

[Be Present]

It refers to developing new friendships

So the way things are done in some of the local milongas here, we announce a friendship tanda; we're allowed to invite in any way (cabeceo, verbal, whatever) anyone we want, respecting their decision to decline of course, and we dance for half a song to a full song and change partners every time. The idea is to meet and dance with someone you've never danced with before, and hopefully involve visitors + newbies too.

Ok, I LOVE this idea! <3

I think i am going to work on something similar to this.

Thanks everyone!

 

[Brummbaer]

It refers to developing new friendships

So the way things are done in some of the local milongas here, we announce a friendship tanda; we're allowed to invite in any way (cabeceo, verbal, whatever) anyone we want, respecting their decision to decline of course, and we dance for half a song to a full song and change partners every time. The idea is to meet and dance with someone you've never danced with before, and hopefully involve visitors + newbies too.

Interesting. Old style 'mixer' dances could work in a similar way. Initially you might just end up with whoever was closest. Sometimes, mid-dance or, say, up to 3 times, there'd be a call to change/move on. (Leaders don't move on so well). That way you were strongly encouraged, should we say, to dance with a new 'friend'.

There really is nothing new.

 

[Be Present]

Interesting. Old style 'mixer' dances could work in a similar way. Initially you might just end up with whoever was closest. Sometimes, mid-dance or, say, up to 3 times, there'd be a call to change/move on. (Leaders don't move on so well). That way you were strongly encouraged, should we say, to dance with a new 'friend'.

There really is nothing new.

Ahhhh…! This also is a great idea! I am familiar from ballroom. Or even a snowball dance. My only concern would be if the roles aren’t fairly equal.

 

[Brummbaer]

Ahhhh…! This also is a great idea! I am familiar from ballroom. Or even a snowball dance. My only concern would be if the roles aren’t fairly equal.

If the roles aren't matched, then you just pick up/have to pick up someone left out, unless they're sitting out. Even then, with an appropriate atmosphere, they might be encouraged. It's about changing sufficiently frequently (like the argument for 3, 4 or 5 track tandas).

 

[Bailango]

If the roles aren't matched, then you just pick up/have to pick up someone left out, unless they're sitting out. Even then, with an appropriate atmosphere, they might be encouraged. It's about changing sufficiently frequently (like the argument for 3, 4 or 5 track tandas).

It is simple. When the switch is announced, tell people to first pick those seating or not dancing.

 

[itwillhappen]

It is simple. When the switch is announced, tell people to first pick those seating or not dancing.

Sounds good. However, the people on the dance floor only have a few seconds to find a new dance partner and they will first look for people in their immediate surroundings. And if they are oriented towards those sitting and there is a significant role imbalance, then it can end up similar to the game "musical chairs", only in reverse. It's primarily a party game and success depends largely on the charisma of the entertainer.

I see good success through pre-milonga drop-in classes with frequent partner changes and topics like floorcraft and small space. If there is an imbalance in roles, couples who can dance both roles are asked to split up in advance - and this now works quite well.

 

[pianistamediano]

Sounds good. However, the people on the dance floor only have a few seconds to find a new dance partner and they will first look for people in their immediate surroundings. And if they are oriented towards those sitting and there is a significant role imbalance, then it can end up similar to the game "musical chairs", only in reverse. It's primarily a party game and success depends largely on the charisma of the entertainer.

In theory, yes; in practice, it works far better than you'd think. People already tend to invite someone who's sitting/not dancing since the intention is to mix and mingle and be consciously more open to dancing with new people.

It still works in spite of a role imbalance, but obviously if it's something as ridiculous as 2 followers to each leader, there is a real chance that multiple followers will sit it out anyway.

 

[ArbeeNYC]

I am thinking of having one or two tandas be ladies choice.

Why not? Could be fun.

 

[ArbeeNYC]

It refers to developing new friendships

So the way things are done in some of the local milongas here, we announce a friendship tanda; we're allowed to invite in any way (cabeceo, verbal, whatever) anyone we want, respecting their decision to decline of course, and we dance for half a song to a full song and change partners every time. The idea is to meet and dance with someone you've never danced with before, and hopefully involve visitors + newbies too.

We did something like this a few months ago for a local milonga's anniversary. DJ played a vals and asked everyone to come to the dance floor. He asked us to switch partners every 15 or 30 seconds and insisted that we actually switch. Ordinarily, I dislike these gimmicks because couples often tend to just stick together for the entire duration. But I tried it this time and it was fun and I got to dance with a couple of women I'd never danced with before and that was delightful. I think most people enjoyed it. These friendship dances don't always work out that well though.

 

[pianistamediano]

… because couples often tend to just stick together for the entire duration.

Well, I do tend to ignore the follower half of couples that do that, because they're obviously on a date at the milonga and I shouldn't be the third wheel.

These friendship dances don't always work out that well though.

Nothing will work out well 100% of the time — but friendship dances work well enough (at least in my experience) that they are overall still worth it!

 

[itwillhappen]

In theory, yes; in practice, it works far better than you'd think. People already tend to invite someone who's sitting/not dancing since the intention is to mix and mingle and be consciously more open to dancing with new people.

Of course, I think it depends on the details, especially if it's a single specific activity, maybe everything will be smoother if there's a routine to it.

I recently went to two regional milongas that were too small for such gimmicks. If there are 30 dancers, the organizer might recognize that there are 29 regulars and one guest. And I went to a large capital flagship milonga where the aim itself was in no way to integrate newcomers. Either you find dance partners - because you are attractive as a dance partner or because you took care for your network - or even not.

 

[Brummbaer]

I think it depends on the details

The original prompt was here:

I am having a milonga in my town next month. I have an idea if anyone wants to comment.

I am thinking of having one or two tandas be ladies choice.

In the circumstances of a 'new' milonga with a 'new' group of participants, some/many novices, and strangers then it could be ok.

I went to a large capital flagship milonga where the aim itself was in no way to integrate newcomers. Either you find dance partners - because you are attractive as a dance partner or because you took care for your network - or even not

Indeed. I can think of some, snooty, metropolitan, milongas where they're not interested in newcomers, just their take on upholding 'tradition'. Others, smaller, where the host is welcoming and the participants want to mix. It all comes back to the participants' reasons for being there. It's just like other 'parties'.

Within the original circumstances it could be ok. The organiser/DJ needs to 'read the crowd'.