Briefly... There IS a weight sharing style of Argentine Tango where the amount of weight shared is enough that both partners will be "off balance" and feel an impulse to move to regain balance independent of their partner if the weight shared is decreased. If you haven't experienced this intense a connection while dancing AT and think that it doesn't exist, you are mistaken.
Yes, "apilado" can be an illusion. You can discover if it is or isn't by dancing with someone who Looks like they are sharing weight; but note that it may take a while for them to feel comfortable with how You are dancing before they trust you enough to really share weight with you.
Oh, and dancing this style well requires a significant change if you have been dancing on your own axis or even sharing minimal weight.
Yes, "apilado" can be an illusion. You can discover if it is or isn't by dancing with someone who Looks like they are sharing weight; but note that it may take a while for them to feel comfortable with how You are dancing before they trust you enough to really share weight with you.
Oh, and dancing this style well requires a significant change if you have been dancing on your own axis or even sharing minimal weight.