What justifies the high spending cost for learning to dance to you?

Just thought I'd share a recent experience I had with a particular dance school which is a lot cheaper and less "formal" than the franchised dance schools.

They specialize in latin dance which I do less of in my regular dance school where I'm focusing more on the smooth dances, swing, etc. I decided to give it a try. I took their group lesson package. The instructors are overall good. Nothing against them at all. But its a couple trying to make ends meet and they're doing the best they can but because of the lower rates they offer, there's only so much they can do.

For one thing, the group lessons take place in this converted old church building. The floors creak when you step on them. The floors are also not regularly maintained so you see rocks and pebbles littered throughout. I'm probably not gonna wear my dance shoes to it anymore because it's gonna ruin my soles.

Biggest problem were the attendees. I don't want to sound like an elitist a-hole but because of the lower rates, it's very popular. I'm happy so many people are interested in learning to dance, especially in my city which is regarded as a bit of a boring city. But one thing that bothered me were the couples that came together. Often, they didn't want to dance with anyone but each other. That's their right. I get it. But it kinda ruins the whole group community experience. This was especially apparent in the practice sessions where the couples would just practice together, leaving the singles to awkwardly look for other singles to dance.

This kinda thing NEVER happens at my dance school. The floors are always cleaned and spotless. And in the group sessions or practice sessions, all the students dance with each other. The couples that come together sometimes even refuse to dance with each other. It's just much better as a community experience.

Originally, being new to the dance world, I wondered at just the need for the higher cost but now I know why. You really DO what you pay for.
 
limit myself to $10 socials once a month

I've been re-reading through this thread, and the above phrase caught my attention. Unfortunately, this seems to be about where I'm headed. It's not what I would like, but it's what it is. So far this month I've had one lesson and one group class, both the same day, and I haven't went to any socials. I don't go to socials Friday because I feel tired and guilty about going, so I've been hitting the gym instead. I don't go to socials Saturday because I don't like the crowd mix. This month, I've also passed on some good workshops, for no good reason. I've been down in the dumps about dancing, and I have no idea how to get out of it.
 
I've been re-reading through this thread, and the above phrase caught my attention. Unfortunately, this seems to be about where I'm headed. It's not what I would like, but it's what it is. So far this month I've had one lesson and one group class, both the same day, and I haven't went to any socials. I don't go to socials Friday because I feel tired and guilty about going, so I've been hitting the gym instead. I don't go to socials Saturday because I don't like the crowd mix. This month, I've also passed on some good workshops, for no good reason. I've been down in the dumps about dancing, and I have no idea how to get out of it.

I feel the way about my social dance community. I don't like the crowd mix. There are too many couples who only want to dance with each other.

Funnily enough, my dance school has become my dance community. I initially went to dance school in order to learn to dance so that I can attend more dance socials. But then I found the formal environment and structure of the dance school was an effective enabler of forming a good dance community. Everybody dances with one another no matter if they're in a relationship or not. Everyone is supportive of one another. And the dance floor is always clean and well kept.
 
Last night I laid out a nice dress and accessories, with the intention of going to Friday's social, which will have live music. I thought if I saw the dress hanging out it might be motivation. Also when I dress up, it improves my chances of being asked to dance.

Knowing how to dance doesn't help my chances of being asked to dance. Even smiling and being polite doesn't help. But wearing a cute short dress does help.
 
Knowing how to dance doesn't help my chances of being asked to dance. Even smiling and being polite doesn't help. But wearing a cute short dress does help.

OMG, so much truth to this. This was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn during my dance journey, that being a desirable social partner is often less about competence and more about appearance and how people's perception of you makes them feel emotionally (if I hear the word "intimidating" one more time....). I distinctly recall a social I attended a few years ago with a couple female friends, I wore a skirt (I tend to favor pants) and my spouse did not attend. I have never been asked to dance so much by people I don't know.
 
I will admit that I may be more likely to ask an attractive lady to dance -- the first time. Whether or not she gets a second dance depends on how the first dance went, whether or not it was fun.

This is a corollary to Snapdancer's Rule of Costumes which goes "I know you ladies like the hair, the dress, the jewelry, the makeup. And I'm perfectly willing to let you wear whatever you want to buy and wear. Unless, that is, I notice your hair, your dress, your jewelry, or your makeup while we're dancing. If I notice it while we're dancing, then there's something wrong with it." While dancing, I don't notice how attractive the lady is, so it doesn't really matter. The quality of our movement together is what I notice.
 
Last night I laid out a nice dress and accessories, with the intention of going to Friday's social, which will have live music. I thought if I saw the dress hanging out it might be motivation. Also when I dress up, it improves my chances of being asked to dance.

Knowing how to dance doesn't help my chances of being asked to dance. Even smiling and being polite doesn't help. But wearing a cute short dress does help.

Everything you ever needed to know in life you can learn from A Chorus Line
images
 
Last night I laid out a nice dress and accessories, with the intention of going to Friday's social, which will have live music. I thought if I saw the dress hanging out it might be motivation. Also when I dress up, it improves my chances of being asked to dance.

Knowing how to dance doesn't help my chances of being asked to dance. Even smiling and being polite doesn't help. But wearing a cute short dress does help.

That's so cute. I'm sorry you have to wear revealing clothes in order to get asked to dance. Unfortunately, men are visual creatures.

You also might want to see it from a man's perspective. The social dance environment is the last remaining place where average looking or unattractive men can still hold some old traditional male advantages. The bar scene or any other social scene is brutal towards average/unattractive men who want some female contact.

I support women's equality and I believe in meritocracy. I'm just saying that because women today don't need a man to make a living, a large portion of them are downright hostile towards men they're not attracted to in bar or other social settings.

Social dance is the only place left where a man can ask a woman and she will say yes 95% of the time. It soothes our broken ego. This is coming from someone who spent years going to pubs with my more attractive guy friends and always ending up with nothing but rejection and humiliation. I'm not complaining. I'm just stating my experiences.
 
That's so cute. I'm sorry you have to wear revealing clothes in order to get asked to dance. Unfortunately, men are visual creatures.

I wouldn't say the dress is revealing. It's a Ralph Lauren navy and cream abstract print short dress, with a flattering cut that flows away from me. The outfit's complete with navy tights and pearl and crystal accessories.

No one's seeing anything they shouldn't, except maybe a lot of leg. But since my legs are one of my best features, and I'm wearing tights, I'm ok with that.
 
So far this month I've had one lesson and one group class, both the same day, and I haven't went to any socials. I don't go to socials Friday because I feel tired and guilty about going, so I've been hitting the gym instead. I don't go to socials Saturday because I don't like the crowd mix. This month, I've also passed on some good workshops, for no good reason. I've been down in the dumps about dancing, and I have no idea how to get out of it.

Sounds like you're in the dance doldrums. Not uncommon (well, at least I've been there a few times ;)).

When that happens to me in other hobbies, I switch from the "boring" hobby to something else. It's tougher though with dance because dance gets rusty pretty quickly if you quit practicing (as you know).

One data point - once when I was really in the doldrums, I forced myself to go to a social. But it was significantly different in that I adopted a real "I don't give a f..." attitude instead of thinking about technique, and frame etc. I danced just to dance, made no apologies for screw-ups and didn't try to "impress the judges". It was great. It was fun, it re-energized me and I started looking forward to my next lesson. YMMV.
 
When it comes to spending wild amounts of money on anything, I think it is important to look at some of the outcomes.

1. Are the people that I receiving the money behaving responsibly and using it to help more people to dance? Or are they just pocketing the money, resulting in the shrinkage of the Dance community long term?

2. Are the people that are spending the money improving their health and well-being as a result of dancing? Or are they going to fancy hotels and restaurants and eating irresponsibly? Drinking too much? Gambling? Etc

Obviously, there can be differing opinions about people spending money the way they want to spend their money. But overall, I hope there is some thoughtfulness of the outcomes that result from the money being spent. In many cases, there’s a lot of good coming out of the money being spent on dancing. But that does not mean that there are not some areas where the dance community could be improved. It is good to be thoughtful how each of us can play a role.
 
I wouldn't say the dress is revealing. It's a Ralph Lauren navy and cream abstract print short dress, with a flattering cut that flows away from me. The outfit's complete with navy tights and pearl and crystal accessories.

No one's seeing anything they shouldn't, except maybe a lot of leg. But since my legs are one of my best features, and I'm wearing tights, I'm ok with that.

Oh well tights are a totally different story. I can see it's a little bit revealing if it's a lot of bare leg but tights are totally fine. I actually prefer it when women wear tights under a skirt. It's super cute. It's what you can't see that leaves me more to the imagination :)
 
In many cases, there’s a lot of good coming out of the money being spent on dancing. But that does not mean that there are not some areas where the dance community could be improved. It is good to be thoughtful how each of us can play a role.

I see it as my way of supporting the arts. Some people donate money to museums and things like that. I like and respect the instructors at my dance school and yah my payments to the dance school help pay their salary but their efforts at teaching is good for the students overall and keeps the community alive.

Before I started dancing, I was a borderline alcoholic. I blew easily the monthly amount I pay the dance school now going out to pubs and restaurants. I've stopped drinking by a large margin since which has done wonders for my health.
 

Dance Ads

Advertise on Dance Forums Reach dancers, teachers, studios, event organizers, and dance-friendly brands. View ad options
Back
Top