What to do?

W

WaltzElf

New Member
Ok, so, after class today, my partner dropped a rather depressing bombshell on me, admitting she "hates dance". While she went on to say she plans on continuing, I'm still a little worried. I mean, as it is we're having enough difficulty finding practice times...

So, do I assume/ hope it's just a passing attitude? It's not going to make practice times/ lessons easy or comfortable, but everyone goes through times when they're not in the mood for something they otherwise love? Do I look for a new partner - despite really, really enjoying dancing with this girl?

What (if anything) could I do to make dancing more pleasant for her, so she can hopefully start enjoying the sport again?
 
That's weird. Had she previously enjoyed it? Julie Cypher up and one day admitted to Melissa Etheridge (after having two children together) that she was "no longer gay". I've never understood people like this.

I "hate showing", and it came as a shocking, sudden admission to my family when I turned 21, and one time after a particularly nasty "You're too dumb and worthless to even be going to horse shows" day- the horse was already clean, wrapped up, and in the trailer with her show nylon on, I just said "Screw this- I hate it, I'm tired of it, and I want to go to Burger King (or Sonic? I forget) instead."

Maybe it's been building a long time and you've missed the signs?
 
PasoDancer said:
That's weird. Had she previously enjoyed it? Julie Cypher up and one day admitted to Melissa Etheridge (after having two children together) that she was "no longer gay". I've never understood people like this.

I "hate showing", and it came as a shocking, sudden admission to my family when I turned 21, and one time after a particularly nasty "You're too dumb and worthless to even be going to horse shows" day- the horse was already clean, wrapped up, and in the trailer with her show nylon on, I just said "Screw this- I hate it, I'm tired of it, and I want to go to Burger King (or Sonic? I forget) instead."

Maybe it's been building a long time and you've missed the signs?
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Well, no, she's always enjoyed it previously. Which is what made me think mabye it is a passing thing. It's a nasty sinking feeling though.
 
WaltzElf said:
Ok, so, after class today, my partner dropped a rather depressing bombshell on me, admitting she "hates dance". While she went on to say she plans on continuing, I'm still a little worried. I mean, as it is we're having enough difficulty finding practice times...

So, do I assume/ hope it's just a passing attitude? It's not going to make practice times/ lessons easy or comfortable, but everyone goes through times when they're not in the mood for something they otherwise love? Do I look for a new partner - despite really, really enjoying dancing with this girl?

What (if anything) could I do to make dancing more pleasant for her, so she can hopefully start enjoying the sport again?
Click to expand...
my guess is that something else is up and she is wanting you to pry it out of her...I would ask her for more details and be empathetic and see what happens...as for what you can do to change the situation, that is so sweet and so like a man, but truly, much as she might like you to rescue her, there is nothing you can do to help her feel differently other thatn to challenge her to examine the situation in a rational way so that she does analyze whther she can change her sentiments or whether she should stop dancing, she will hate that btw...:rolleyes: I could just be firing in the dark, but that is my hunch...good luck...just keep talking and dancing
 
PasoDancer said:
That's weird. Had she previously enjoyed it? Julie Cypher up and one day admitted to Melissa Etheridge (after having two children together) that she was "no longer gay". I've never understood people like this.

I "hate showing", and it came as a shocking, sudden admission to my family when I turned 21, and one time after a particularly nasty "You're too dumb and worthless to even be going to horse shows" day- the horse was already clean, wrapped up, and in the trailer with her show nylon on, I just said "Screw this- I hate it, I'm tired of it, and I want to go to Burger King (or Sonic? I forget) instead."

Maybe it's been building a long time and you've missed the signs?
Click to expand...
this is a good possibility as well...but I imagine that if it is this one , it will keep springing up and she will actually have the resolve to quit, ...with my scenario, she'll be acting like she never said it in two days...anyhow, I feel for ya...hang in there
 
fascination said:
this is a good possibility as well...but I imagine that if it is this one , it will keep springing up and she will actually have the resolve to quit, ...with my scenario, she'll be acting like she never said it in two days...anyhow, I feel for ya...hang in there
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Well, fingers crossed it's your scenario, I guess. I like her far too much to want to have to find a new partner, and spend all the time hoping we "click" as well. :P
 
are you sure the whole like thing isn't what she's fishing around to find out?...i mean I may be way off base...don't know you folks at all but, well, she may be trying to see how you react to the notion of her leaving....not that I could EVER conceive of such a manipulative ploy...lol
 
fascination said:
are you sure the whole like thing isn't what she's fishing around to find out?...i mean I may be way off base...don't know you folks at all but, well, she may be trying to see how you react to the notion of her leaving....not that I could EVER conceive of such a manipulative ploy...lol
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That's possible, I guess, I can never tell what she thinks of me beyond the fact we get along well enough to dance. She was quick to say "but I'll keep dancing" when I took the news with not much humour.


Then again, our teacher was hard on us tonight, it might just be that *shrugs* As much as I love dance, the partnership politics are a trial and a half sometimes :P
 
I dunno, purely professional in nature partnerships tend to be more competitive, don't they? At least, that's the impression I get from competitions.
 
that a whole nother thread my friend...which we have in the archives btw, ...just depends IMO...realtionships are relationships...complicated whther romantic or not....
 
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