Why some women are not asked to dance

[MariaSAO]

Of course, women should also have several dance partners! Let me count:
3 of my 4 partners also have other dance partners.
Of the 3, 2 have their partner for practicing only.
The remaining 1 occasionally invites me to a tiny private balanced milonga.
It is quite pleasant to spend several hours dancing and talking without the stress of a competitive situation.

I don't understand your point about women solidarity.

While being in dark about your point, I have to say that instinctively I always avoided pampering any leader and seen from outside you must say I am quite arrogant. I am a feminist and I won't give an inch to the male dominance or let them have superior favorable circumstances

 

[Cabbit]

It is interesting that you regard a milonga as a stressful competitive situation.

It is probably me being oblivious to social dynamics, but id classify it more as - relaxed hanging out with friends, just better dressed.

 

[Tangogal]

I find milongas stressful too. I am actually an introvert so find being socially "on" quite draining. For this reason a milonga partner would be a nice idea. Someone to dance with at the start of the night and someone to chat and sit with when not dancing.

Let's not forget the social status of being more desirable as a dance partner if you're already favoured by a good dancer (no point in buddying up with a poor dancer).

On female solidarity - it's alive and well and a huge part of the tango social dynamics. Women are generally cooperative and happy to see others improve and dance well. I had my turn as belle of the ball too.

@itwillhappen one of the many reasons I would like to see the end of tandas is to give people the freedom to dance a single dance. Tango recordings are looong some stretch to 6mins. So a tanda of 3 songs can go on for nearly 15 minutes. It's worse if there's a live band as you have to stop and clap between songs and go through all the band members and their solos. Imagine if tango songs were only 2mins long? You'd get twice as many tandas into a night. Or if there were no tandas you'd dance one or two songs and then take a break.

 

[itwillhappen]

I am a feminist and I won't give an inch to the male dominance or let them have superior favorable circumstances

Most men here will not experience dancing as a situation where they have favorable circumstances:

 

[Cabbit]

This is some alternate reality.

 

[itwillhappen]

I don't understand your point about women solidarity.

As long as women remain constrained in their cultural corset and want to follow men instead of learning to lead other women, the general conditions remain very poor. Because if you repeatedly cannot find dance partners, you will have to look for another leisure activity earlier or later.

Well, I have never heard an invited dance partner tell me that I may be the leader of her dreams, but I should dance with some shockers over there first, who have been waiting for a longer time.

And at a certain point, I suppose, will the concept of "female networking" be facing the concept of "male bonding".

 

[Cabbit]

I still dont understand. Its a bit like you saying, well, there arent enough attractive women at this party, the best solution would be for me to shed my cultural corset and hit on a guy instead. Its just a cultural construct anyway, a body is a body, its all the same.

 

[MariaSAO]

Most men here will not experience dancing as a situation where they have favorable circumstances:

All my simpathy goes to beginners! Not talking about the ones who start lessons and dancing with their life partners. Hicking with my husband is a safer couple activity

 

[itwillhappen]

I still dont understand. Its a bit like you saying, well, there arent enough attractive women at this party, the best solution would be for me to shed my cultural corset and hit on a guy instead. Its just a cultural construct anyway, a body is a body, its all the same.

I don't understand your narrative now either. In any case, there have been considerable problems in your socialization when you can take off your cultural corset.
(Under the culture we still have the biological nature of great apes. Offering the alphas sex in public so that they stop killing your newborns and at the same time holding back the betas, is not for everyone these days. )

It is more likely that you, that the community, are trying to steer things by using rational mind, by inventing rules on top of the culture.
In tango maybe like that men have to spread their invitations to a broad range of females.
Or whatever is in the game.

 

[Cabbit]

In any case, there have been considerable problems in your socialization when you can take off your cultural corset.

As long as women remain constrained in their cultural corset and want to follow men instead of learning to lead other women, the general conditions remain very poor.

So... it seems that you disapprove of both options. Either women can take off their cultural corset (whatever that means) and that shows (other and additional) problems in their socialization. Or their remain in their cultural corset, thus keeping the general conditions very poor.

Damned if they do and damned if they don't.

 

[WhiskeyPapa]

I suggest men and women just enjoy each other’s company in the dance without overanalyzing the experience.

if she wants to take her corset off for me, fine! If not, fine! Whatever she does, I stay clothed and behave myself!

 

[Cabbit]

I suggest men and women just enjoy each other’s company in the dance without overanalyzing the experience.

if she wants to take her corset off for me, fine! If not, fine! Whatever she does, I stay clothed and behave myself!

Whatever she does? Whatever?

 

[WhiskeyPapa]

Whatever she does? Whatever?

In the Ronda, yes... people are watching!

 

[itwillhappen]

So... it seems that you disapprove of both options. Either women can take off their cultural corset (whatever that means) and that shows (other and additional) problems in their socialization. Or their remain in their cultural corset, thus keeping the general conditions very poor.

Damned if they do and damned if they don't.

Exactly, I nailed it down, you got it!
Plus one detail, please: I'm not disapproving anything here.
It is a common misattribution to look for an (evil) actor where the circumstances matter.

 

[Cabbit]

In the Ronda, yes... people are watching!

Thank you for stayng clothed in the ronda. Very considerate.