At the end of the pandemic, maybe a new start?

With regards to this specific formulation of the problem, is it better phrased as: female followers don't get enough dances with male leaders -
To a large extent yes. But you could simply rephrase it as: some people don't get enough dances, because it includes men and women (leaders/followers).
 
To a large extent yes. But you could simply rephrase it as: some people don't get enough dances, because it includes men and women (leaders/followers).
Indeed - it's just a matter of which specific problem (people of X or all genders and Y or all roles don't get enough dances, insert specifics) is more pressing or evident.

I'd be the first to admit that I do not get as many dances as I'd like, as a male leader; unfortunately, many followers seem to be preoccupied with other leaders when I hear music that I want to dance with them to, and those are usually the good tandas. If they want to dance the less enjoyable tandas with me, well, considering that my musicality is the only thing I am truly proud of in dancing...
Something I've noticed as well.
On the other side, AT does seem to attract the engineers and the geeks, or maybe that's just about where lessons and milongas take place.
It does lend credence to the idea that tango is very distinct from other dances, such as salsa, bachata sensual, kizomba, etc.. Or maybe it's that the women in tango are less intimidating. Perhaps for a lot of STEM guys, going up to a hot girl in a tight dress at a salsa congress, with the loud and fast-paced music, and having to 'peacock' like the other men, is far more anxiety-inducing than doing the same at a milonga. Or is it also that tango is inherently more focused inwards, more introverted than the other more extroverted dances? So many factors.
 
The only other factors I'd throw in are that women talk to each other, and there's an attraction for the 'glitzy' on dancing as portrayed on Strictly/DWTS, but not necessarily with participation.
I feel a bit guilty having to break it to a fresh-faced beginner that no, social tango isn't what is danced on these shows. We have a regular (though small) inflow of new dancers through a university society, and I think part of the reason why tango is less popular than swing or salsa is that it takes time to be able to feel the connection and the music, and to be able to feel comfortable in the embrace. Instant gratification is key to retaining such new dancers, and salsa and swing just do it better.

Could you perhaps expound on the first part? I have very little idea of what the ladies talk about to each other when not dancing.
 
AT does seem to attract the engineers and the geeks, or maybe that's just about where lessons and milongas take place.
It could be because of the analytical aspect. Or that we don’t care if someone is geeky or nerdy or shy or un-hip, as long as they can dance. Or that many in those professions work alone and look for quality social interaction. Or that many stem people have had a bit of music training in their youth and have wide open ears.

And in my community, there are also many doctors and professors, but again that might be more about the types of locations, as small university cities might lack other interesting leisure activities for educated people. We joke around here that it’s a good environment to grow old in, because if someone collapses, there’s always a number of doctors ready to jump in. Like what happened a few days ago during a classical concert in Carnegie Hall when someone in the audience had a heart attack.

I must say, I’ve met many interesting people through tango. Very very international, too, where foreigners feel welcome.
 
I'd be the first to admit that I do not get as many dances as I'd like, as a male leader; unfortunately, many followers seem to be preoccupied with other leaders when I hear music that I want to dance with them to, and those are usually the good tandas. If they want to dance the less enjoyable tandas with me, well, considering that my musicality is the only thing I am truly proud of in dancing...
I think this causality is unlikely, if only because a minority pays attention to the music at all, and this minority also has different views on what a "good" tanda is.

Maybe "good" tandas are more likely to be played during prime time while there is a lot of invitation?
Maybe you're too slow because you don't invite during the Cortina?
Maybe you irritated or upset women beforehand because you didn't invite them? They can hardly know if it's because of them, or because of the music or your sweat or your energy.
 
I think this causality is unlikely, if only because a minority pays attention to the music at all, and this minority also has different views on what a "good" tanda is.
Quite possible! It could very well be confirmation bias, since I love the music, and I only want to dance the "good" tandas, and that is when I invite. Unfortunately, it annoys me very much.

And come to think of it, there are a lot of men who pounce on followers during the cortina here, or deliberately position themselves to block other cabeceos and get ready to invite, so definitely another frustrating reason.
Maybe you irritated or upset women beforehand because you didn't invite them? They can hardly know if it's because of them, or because of the music or your sweat or your energy.
Another good point — just in the last milonga, I apologised to a follower I dance with often when she thought I was inviting her, explaining that I was waiting for a good tanda to dance with her to, and reassuring her that it wasn't because I was ignoring her. Thankfully, she shared my opinion that people had all manner of reasons for not inviting/accepting, and chose not to attribute any malice to them. We enjoyed the last tanda very much ;)
 
Ups, not in Stockholm, it was Embrace Norway, Lillehammer:
But in August there will be the 2nd edition of
Bomboncito - Stockholm Milonguero Weekend
with a "balanced number of men and women".
 
And come to think of it, there are a lot of men who pounce on followers during the cortina here, or deliberately position themselves to block other cabeceos and get ready to invite, so definitely another frustrating reason.
You have to reckon with the fact that everyone at a milonga thinks they are doing the right thing and also approves, rejects or invents specific rules for their own benefit.
  • People who actually know that there were no tandas in the golden age believe that one has only to invite at the beginning of a tanda. (*)
  • Women who actually consider the free choice to be a personal right think that men have to dance a lot and and with different woman when there is a shortage of men.
  • Women who actually demand mirada/cabeceo believe that "nowadays women also have to invite".
  • Men who are actually aware that their behavior is intrusive claim a kind of "emergency" or "tacit consent".
  • ... and so on.
(*) I believe that too!
 
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But in August there will be the 2nd edition of
Bomboncito - Stockholm Milonguero Weekend
with a "balanced number of men and women".
The Riga/Vilnius marathons have also been quite popular since they came back after Covid, and I note that their registration specifically states "role-balanced", with an option to select dual-role, so I'm assuming that there's been a good mix of roles to keep. However, registration for solo followers were still closed very quickly (as opposed to couples or double-role persons, I assume). It does make one wonder what an optimal balance of roles would be. Unfortunately, I was not deemed a good enough single leader to participate in the upcoming ones, so fingers crossed I make it next time!
 
"was not deemed a good enough single leader to participate in the upcoming ones"
Maybe this should have an own thread...however - how can an organizer of such event "deem" if a dancer is good enough, without actually having seen the person dancing?! Isn't this, in the end, the clique-sh thing that was discussed somewhere else here, in this forum?
 
Maybe this should have an own thread...however - how can an organizer of such event "deem" if a dancer is good enough, without actually having seen the person dancing?! Isn't this, in the end, the clique-sh thing that was discussed somewhere else here, in this forum?
I think "good dancing" is overrated, the standard is asking for "enough experience". And so it is asked about the similar events attended so far and the facebook profile. Then an organizer can still pursue secondary goals, such as a broad national and age-related distribution. If in doubt, a chat or a phone call might happen.

I was recently rejected (as a couple) at an encuentro in Amsterdam. I'm not worried about our dancing at all. It could have been because we didn't book the Argentine folklore package. However, it doesn't matter, I react in such cases with Tit-for-Tat, I won't register there again for a year.

It's more of a clique thing for women who, with common high experience, try to get a ticket instead of a place the waiting list through massive networking.
 
I think "good dancing" is overrated, the standard is asking for "enough experience". And so it is asked about the similar events attended so far and the facebook profile. Then an organizer can still pursue secondary goals, such as a broad national and age-related distribution. If in doubt, a chat or a phone call might happen.
I do think that is most probably the case, as I do not really have the finances to travel for tango much, so this lack of experience does hurt my chances. My friend, who is a regular, has said that my dancing and floorcraft was about the level of the average dancer there, so not too worried about that part.

Who knows, it could very well be the fact that I have been dancing for less than a decade, or that I am too young [?], or even because they saw me dancing badly once. Or that I don't have enough photos of myself dancing on my Facebook profile! :rofl:

Since I have friends who go there regularly, I'll still be registering in the future, but perhaps at least half a year later (to give myself enough time to heal my hurt pride, ouch!).
 

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