Looking at cleavage

[fascination]

Yes, I can see that being looked at as prey would be very uncomfortable.

and I have had the look turn into handling that I was expected to interprete as good dancing but which smacked of being a bit opportunistic...but I always give the gent the benefit of the doubt and leave it alone unless it is so far gone as to be indisputable, and fortunately THAT has never happened

 

[Terpsichorean Clod]

But she's giving the mixed message. She admits that she wears revealing tops, and then she complains that guys look. In my experience, when that happens, it's always the same thing: she has a very high opiinion of herself, she thinks she deserves a top 10% male, and she has contempt for all other men. I've met hundreds just like her.

I don't see anything in her posts that implies that she is selective in who may stare at her. Or that she is single and in a position to "deserve a top 10% male". She is a new member and I think it would be nice for us, when reading her posts, to try to give her the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Mostly Ballroom]

and I have had the look turn into handling that I was expected to interprete as good dancing but which smacked of being a bit opportunistic...but I always give the gent the benefit of the doubt and leave it alone unless it is so far gone as to be indisputable, and fortunately THAT has never happened

Yes, I expect that would happen too.

 

[cornutt]

I'm a huge fan of men NOT looking at my cleavage. It's not flattering, it's insulting. Flattering is a nice compliment, or a nice smile, insulting is staring at my private parts.

If the OP looks, and doesn't get bad reactions that's fine; but don't start assuming what you're doing will fly with all girls.

I've had a case of this... he stared and stared and stared until I said "hey sir, mind looking elsewhere?" He did for a move or 2 then back to my boobs... I left him in the middle of the dancefloor. Mean? Maybe. Did I feel violated? Yeah pretty much.

Well, I will point out that the above quoted was vmec's very first post to DF. Not exactly typical for a first post, is it? Draw your own conclusions. I'm leaning towards nucat's.

 

[fascination]

well you never know when something someone has been through before creates in them a strong reaction that may at first seem disproportionate to others, but which makes perfect sense and casts them in a better light if you know the back story...at any rate...I appreciate your reluctance

 

[cornutt]

OK, sorry. I'll stand down now.

 

[SDsalsaguy]

...she has a very high opiinion of herself, she thinks she deserves a top 10% male, and she has contempt for all other men. I've met hundreds just like her.

cornutt, I think this comes very close to skirting the DF's policies regarding personal attacks. If you want to talk about this "type" of woman, that's fine, but to accuse a member of being this when that is not based on the explicit content of their posts borders on being a personal attack. Please differentiate between a behavior pattern that you find objectionable vs. the character of a member you have never met.

 

[cornutt]

I've already said I'm standing down. I have nothing further to say here.

 

[elisedance]

SDG - looks like that put rather a damper on a lively fun thread

 

[BugBear]

I bet a few pictures will cheer everyone up.

 

[PretzelsAndBeer]

If that were so i'd be in great shape from oggling men in tight pants and shirts off... Sadly it is not true... At least in my case...


This works both ways guys....

I hope so!

 

[Me]

I bet a few pictures will cheer everyone up.

How about a Family Guy video?

[yt]40xVYYfMjVQ[/yt]

 

[englezul]

This is funny! You almost sound like your breasts outshine YOU!

Why is it so hard to believe that maybe men are dancing with you because you have a great smile, and you have a beautiful body, and are good dancer, and perhaps if they know you, because they like your personality too? It's almost like you're too sensitive to the issue and a glance there already triggers all this my boobs and not me drama.

If you feel so bothered about men admiring your womanly figure, don't wear the outfits you that attract that sort of attention. You mention that you dress just like any other woman in there, but many women feel good when they're being checked out because they feel attractive to the opposite sex. Which is why they dress the way they do...Why else would you wear a cleavage? So other women can look at it? So you can look at it? What is the purpose of a cleavage if not to outline your shape? Why don't nuns wear cleavages?

Well I thought I kind of touched on this before. I appriciate a nice compliment, or a sweet smile, or something like that. But when a man cannot look anywhere other than my boobs I find that disrespectful and degrading as he's only dancing with me becasue he has something nice to look at.

To me it's like:
"You have a great smile"
vs
"You have great tits"
The first just seem more genuwine and sweet.

 

[samina]

If you feel so bothered about men admiring your womanly figure, don't wear the outfits you that attract that sort of attention. You mention that you dress just like any other woman in there, but many women feel good when they're being checked out because they feel attractive to the opposite sex. Which is why they dress the way they do...Why else would you wear a cleavage? So other women can look at it? So you can look at it? What is the purpose of a cleavage if not to outline your shape? Why don't nuns wear cleavages?

my view exactly. my thoughts to those who feel offended are: either wear a tunic or get over your hang-up, but either way, quit projecting a problem onto the men who look...

if they're being skeevy about it...just ignore and pay them no mind, same as any other unappealing behaviour. they're not *hurting* you...they're just looking, however crudely.

 

[Purr]

If you feel so bothered about men admiring your womanly figure, don't wear the outfits you that attract that sort of attention.

and

my view exactly. my thoughts to those who feel offended are: either wear a tunic or get over your hang-up, but either way, quit projecting a problem onto the men who look...

Has anyone considered that someone might look voluptuous, for lack of a better word, no matter what she wears? And unless the clothes are made by Omar the Tent-Maker, there's no disguising it.

Even wearing something as ordinary as a t-shirt might elicit stares.

Personally, if someone is making me uncomfortable, I'll handle it, one way or the other. And if that involves a few choice words, so be it.