Looking at cleavage

This thread has been a lot about woman's dichotomy on cleavage - whether she likes a look or whether she is offended. However, I never realized men have exactly the same dichotomy: they are both obsessed with and also, apparently, afraid of it...

But then again, its not something I have a lot of so perhaps I am rather tame. Except, perhaps, 'mental cleavage' but thats another story....
 

DWise1

Well-Known Member
Not so much how we men are supposed to respond. Or what we are to infer. But rather, is it even supposed to actually mean anything?

(please stand by while I update my avatar)
 

DWise1

Well-Known Member
OK, I had to go through a lot of extraneous BS to get a new avatar.

You now see what I look like (albeit the best photo that my sister shot of me for match.com a few years ago when my then-counselor was pressuring me --). You can now see how any possible signals of interest or whatever that flashing cleavage could possibly signify could not possibly apply to me. Hence, whatever my partner might appear to be signalling by her cleavage or body position (extra-close positioning, close eye contact) or whatever, I'll play along with to be polite. Do I ever read anything into that? Of course not! Just because I talk slow don't mean I'm stupid! I do own mirrors and I do know how to use them! There is no possible way that any of those signals could ever mean anything!
 

DWise1

Well-Known Member
Had to reduce it to 100x100. Cannot be held responsible for whatever aliasing ensued.

Like I said, I had to jump through whatever hoops all at once to get it to be accepted by the DF software. Even though where I already had it cached had been accepted before but was no longer acceptable. Whatever.

Last it snowed in the Real OC was back around the late 1970's, when I was in North Dakota.
 
Avatars are a world unto themselves - I couldn't upload one for the life of me, until that is someone pointed out I was doing it at the wrong place...

Last time it snowed in Toronto was last week (just few sprinkles yet) :rolleyes:.I might see some here in Montreal...
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
Anyway, for the sake of completeness as I started this thread asking these questions I may as well give my final opinion. That and I'm a bit leery of how well it will be received which as far as I'm concerned is a reason to give my opinion, not withhold it.

Many women also call attention to their cleavage via strategic hand gestures, adjusting clothing, leaning forward and the like. Being noticed by a man can also elicit these behaviors. Being noticed by a man can also elicit women covering themselves up. Also the above behaviors may not mean a darn thing and most women are not going to announce to us men exactly what they are doing and why. This uncertainty just goes along with flirting. So sometimes a man will look and the woman will feel uncomfortable. Sometimes a man will look and the woman will like it. Please note I am not referring to leering here. I did not say leering lol.

See no one ever told me about this part of life and I was very surprised to find out about it. I still don't think any woman has really confirmed it for me but I believe it to be true. Anyway according to my experience I judge it to be true.

I may have missed a few disclaimers, it's difficult to hit them all around here lol. (Yeah, that was a bit of a poke in the DF ribs lol)
I think that this makes sense... I think that some things can be done on purpose to put them out there.. some gestures can be subconscious to put them out there, some can be subconscious and increase attention but that may not have been what the person wanted, and some gestures may be a very conscious act to increase the likelihodd that the eye will go where the lady wants it to go, and that isn't neccessarily contained to cleavage...I have also seen studies about things like; the more a woman plays with her hair and flips it around the higher the likelihood that she is flirting and I have seen plenty in my life that would support that as a pretty good indicator...shrug
 

fascination

Site Moderator
Staff member
Had to reduce it to 100x100. Cannot be held responsible for whatever aliasing ensued.

Like I said, I had to jump through whatever hoops all at once to get it to be accepted by the DF software. Even though where I already had it cached had been accepted before but was no longer acceptable. Whatever.

Last it snowed in the Real OC was back around the late 1970's, when I was in North Dakota.
sometimes things change when we have upgrades...it isn't some sadistic plot to torment folks ;)
 

DWise1

Well-Known Member
sometimes things change when we have upgrades...it isn't some sadistic plot to torment folks ;)
I wasn't lodging a complaint. Methinks you're being overly sensitive.

Now, if there's anything you could do about getting it to display the date/time a message is posted instead of the fairly useless "this many minutes/hours/days ago", or at least giving us the option, ... .
 
Ok, remember the opening of "2001 - A Space Odyssey"? The apemen first noticed the monolith, then they danced around it, then one of them crept up, touched it and ran off? Then they all started jumping up and down, running up and touching it and then screaming?

Same thing. And where did I leave my warthog femur?
 
Hey, Tacad/MostlyBallroom (I hear that a lot of the ballroom action is at Atomic now; I'm there mostly for Lindy, having followed Shesha there).
Yeah. While I like Atomic it seems to have sucked the life out of other places. Too bad. I like going to different places.

Do we guys understand what's going on in re cleavage? I assume not -- at any rate, I don't, since I'm clueless. Do the women know what they're doing with cleavage? Maybe, maybe not. I think that they have some idea what they're doing, but I don't know that all of them have thought it all through. While I'm sure that some of them have.

But what do I know? I'm clueless. It's my only defence.

With all my dance partners, I try to be polite. Cleavage or no cleavage, I assume nothing. If they seem to be doing something that could be interpreted as flirty, I politely play along, but I never try to read anything into it. I mean, I do have mirrors and I do know how to use them. I do realize that any actions that might possibly seem be provocative or flirtatious couldn't possibly be so construed, at least where I am involved.

Or should I quote the great Inspecteur Jacques Clouseau? "Assume nothing! Suspect everything!"

Then there was an incident at a salsa concert in Fashion Island where two women I knew were dancing with each other (a very frequent event locally, from what I have seen). A hook of one woman's vest snagged with the other woman's sweater. To save the sweater, I put my hands to both of their backs to prevent them from trying to pull apart and I instructed the one woman's daughter to reach in and unsnag them. I mean, there I was standing with two very remarkable cleavages before me (and I am not exagerrating in the least bit), and that was my primary concern and my course of action. After they had been disengaged safely, I did a double-take on one of their cleavages, because the vest was arranged to reveal a lot of the bra's lace. It took me a couple seconds before I finally realized that she had arranged it that way on purpose. Problem solved.

So if anything might possibly be construed, when it involves me then it must mean nothing and I operate accordingly. I am, after all, clueless. It is my only defense.

[Note: Refer to A Christmas Story when the yellow-eyed bully attacked and the kid brother just fell to the ground motionless. It was his only defense, as the narrator noted.]
Sounds good. Even if they do intend something it doesn't really matter. It's my decision as to whether to act either way. And that's according to my principles. We're messed up if we go according to what we think they're doing or what we think they want. Even if we're right lol.
 

DWise1

Well-Known Member
Fast learner! You didn't even need 28 years of marriage to learn that whatever we do, we're wrong.


The dance scene in Orange County -- meaning the studios and teachers -- can get cut-throat. Check out Nancy Lester's "This Week in Dance" page at http://www.ocdance.com/thisweek.html. Then go to the Google Maps at the bottom of the page. That's an insane concentration of studios. And then every weekend you have several different dances competing with each other. There are only so many dancers here and too many venues vying for them. And of course the ones who don't know how to dance have the Lemondrop Club's weekly dances to go to (ie, free-style; I've never gone, because I doubt very much whether I'd find any women who can dance).
 

Dance Ads