Tango Distance, I am going to express my personal opinion here, and I am sure some will disagree completely or partially, but that's what I believe:
Argentine Tango is close embrace dance. That is one of it's fundamental aspects. Close embrace means dancing in a hugging position. If hugging and close contact with women (other than your wife, as you stated earlier) is not your thing, I question whether Argentine Tango is for you. The are many fine Ballroom dances where close embrace is not part of it.
Why do you feel the desire to Tango if "hugging" is a problem for you?
That is a fair question. Plowing through the 300+ messages of this thread would answer much of your question, but here is a much shorter answer plus a couple of new points.
We did start with a Ballroom class. While it was fun enough we decided to do another dance class, the class wasn't great and there is not much Ballroom dancing in my area (dances are a once or twice a year thing). We tried Salsa. No. We tried Bachata. No. We tried Contra. We went with friends, and went as long as we had free passes (2 more times). I haven't been able to engineer a return to Contra, though we both seemed to enjoy it. My DW will do Blues classes with me, and a Blues dance once in a great while. Between classes, practicas, and milongas, DW does Tango multiple times a week.
Tango has been a great thing to do with DW. It is a struggle to get her to join me in my hobbies, but she is always up for Tango. It has been a good relationship thing. Our relationship was good before, but dance has added a new dimension of fun. Learning to follow has been a good thing for her. It took weeks to get her to stop her huge backleading attempts, but she has seen the light that following well is magic. (An interesting aside, if we try a new dance she'll revert to trying to backlead.) I think it has been good for her in multiple ways to learn there can be great fun and benefit in following another's lead, rather than assume you can do it better and push for that agenda (literally push in the case of dance!).
It has also been valuable to interact with so many ladies. I am a much better reader of body language, know better what to say and not say, and know what moves they like the best. My understanding of women has increased greatly and is now up to 2.7183%. This has helped me be a better DH to DW.
Another factor is DW really really wants to dance with many people. An undanced tanda is a disaster in her mind! Not switching partners works for some couples, but for my DW that would be like eating the exact same thing for every meal.
So Reuven7 you are right that the Tango Distance and Tango might not be the best match, but I'm highly motivated to make it work. You are also right if I want to be 100% immersed in Tango, going to a bunch of remote festivals and Buenos Aires and make the ladies as happy as possible, I'm going to have to embrace the embrace. Thankfully my local fellow Tangoers have been very kind and let me float to the level for which I am ready. I have also made an amazing amount of progress in 2 years, so who knows what the future might bring.
Instruction here is mostly open embrace. Even the instructors that say they are "fundamentals" and "close embrace" and brag about their BsAs experiences start with open embrace. Milongas are a mix of OE and CE.
