Why some women are not asked to dance

I visited a few workshops.
I know that I can't execute every step and figure correctly. That's why I go to classes.

Some women said crap during classes or left me to find a "better" partner.
I realized that I don't want to invite them if I go to a milonga.

If I go to a class and dance with a beginner who makes mistakes, I never say a word. She is there to learn.

I didn't hear anything bad from the Asian ladies during the workshops. That's why I always invite them.
 
I haven't read all 752 replies and don't remember if I already replied. I avoid women with bad frame. They stick out their right arm like they are flagging a taxi cab. I have arthritis (not bragging) and they cause pain in the shoulder when they stretch my arm beyond its maximum reach.

To relieve the pressure, I let go of their hand and hold their wrist or some place along their arm closer to my shoulder.
 
I question usefulness of such classes for someone who is travelling a lot. From my experience, each city has its own norms around invitation, and those vary a lot.

For example, in Lisbon I had to really exaggerate my cabaceo to comical proportions, whereas in Athens I had to watch out not to even smile at friends during cortina, or else a woman might jump out of her seat and walk up to me across the dance floor to dance.

And then in most cities there are the annoying time wasters who will persistently make eye contact with you but then look away when you actually cabaceo them.
 
ArbeeNYC said:
I'm curious. How did they organize the class? The basics are quite simple once you know what to look for.
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Women on one side of the room, men on the opposite side, and just verbal instruction on how to proceed. Most people in La Plata were Argentines and already familiar with cabeceo. The instructor used to be an army sargento and has a strong command in his voice. There are usually over 40 people every night in his beginner lessons.
His lessons also include some verbal advice on codes in the milonga. You can not judge his lessons by the vids on line. He is not an escenario instructor, but a milonguero instructor. Many years ago he was a taxi driver..!
 
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My main tango school ran a cabeceo workshop, which was basically ensuring everyone understands how it works and giving people practice at it. I think it's a worthwhile thing to do.
 
Skrappy@tango said:
There are usually over 40 people every night in his beginner lessons.
His lessons also include some verbal advice on codes in the milonga. You can not judge his lessons by the vids on line. He is not an escenario instructor, but a milonguero instructor. Many years ago he was a taxi driver..!
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Sounds like a good combination for an instructor. Popular class, too, it seems.
 
Skrappy@tango said:
I took several such cabeceo lessons with Fernando Napoliello, Guardia Tanguera, La Plata, Argentina 2007
Very useful.
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@ TTangero & Skrappy (and anyone else) - what were the mechanics of the cabeceo in these lessons? I attended a workshop by a popular teaching couple in NYC, they described the cabeceo as a male initiated event. If the woman notices a man staring at her and she wants to dance, she maintains eye contact & waits for his nod. This is the opposite of what I had previously learned, which was that it is the woman that initiates by looking at the man she wants to dance with.
 
tangobro said:
@ TTangero & Skrappy (and anyone else) - what were the mechanics of the cabeceo in these lessons? I attended a workshop by a popular teaching couple in NYC, they described the cabeceo as a male initiated event. If the woman notices a man staring at her and she wants to dance, she maintains eye contact & waits for his nod. This is the opposite of what I had previously learned, which was that it is the woman that initiates by looking at the man she wants to dance with.
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I believe NYC is not the ideal place to take tango lessons.

Either one can initiate. The other one decide. Cabeceo is a non-written contract to dance a tanda.
 
tangobro said:
they described the cabeceo as a male initiated event. If the woman notices a man staring at her and she wants to dance, she maintains eye contact & waits for his nod. This is the opposite of what I had previously learned, which was that it is the woman that initiates by looking at the man she wants to dance with.
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Yes, traditionally it is the woman who chooses with the mirada (the look) and the man who accepts with the cabeceo (the nod), but it was sensibly presented here as an equal-opportunity thing: if you want to dance with someone, look at them; if someone looks at you and you want to dance with them, nod, else look away.
 
tangobro said:
@ TTangero & Skrappy (and anyone else) - what were the mechanics of the cabeceo in these lessons? I attended a workshop by a popular teaching couple in NYC, they described the cabeceo as a male initiated event. If the woman notices a man staring at her and she wants to dance, she maintains eye contact & waits for his nod. This is the opposite of what I had previously learned, which was that it is the woman that initiates by looking at the man she wants to dance with.
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That's the way I learned as well. OTOH, the man does not "stare" at the woman. It's a glance, sometimes quick, sometimes not so quick. The woman generally does not initiate the mirada. However, it would be nice if more women were a bit more proactive in that respect. Some women are but men are far more active users and initiators.
 
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