Why some women are not asked to dance

JournalInTime said:
A lofty goal, but not a realistic one for the majority of people who would like to learn tango or Chinese. It comes perilously close to claiming, "Unless you can afford to uproot yourself and spend lots of time, perhaps the rest of your life, in another culture, don't bother to try to learn these things." Only a tiny minority of interested parties have the resources – the cash, the time, the freedom – to devote themselves to learning that way.

Unless we're building bridges or doing brain surgery, close enough is good enough. Imperfect lessons on a casual basis might not create natively fluent dancers or speakers, but they will satisfy most curious parties. More important, they will spread the influence of the dance or the language.
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Totally true.
I know several young people learning Chinese (Mandarin) language, and after 2 years of lessons, they can not communicate well with the guys running a small mom & pop supermarket in the block.
Finding a good instructor was difficult in Buenos Aires, and impossible in Washington DC or Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, and Palm Beach, places I know/knew really well. I imagine chances are better in Europe.
Many Central and Eastern European women learn quite well and fast, many of them have taken classic ballet lesson at young age. That helps a lot.
 
Skrappy@tango said:
Totally true.
I know several young people learning Chinese (Mandarin) language, and after 2 years of lessons, they can not communicate well with the guys running a small mom & pop supermarket in the block.
Finding a good instructor was difficult in Buenos Aires, and impossible in Washington DC or Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, and Palm Beach, places I know/knew really well. I imagine chances are better in Europe.
Many Central and Eastern European women learn quite well and fast, many of them have taken classic ballet lesson at young age. That helps a lot.
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It is common that people in the Eastern Europe take up some physical activity while growing up.
So AT is not so challenging activity to people like to some in western countries.
There is a danger in not adapting primary skill enough to social tango.
In the end it should help people, but it may be an obstacle in the beginning.
 
SierraAlpha said:
For example, in Lisbon I had to really exaggerate my cabaceo to comical proportions, whereas in Athens I had to watch out not to even smile at friends during cortina, or else a woman might jump out of her seat and walk up to me across the dance floor to dance.
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I have watched several vids of Athens milongas and all appear very dark (inhibiting cabeceo). Embrace appeared poor, and music was usually "alternative". Am I right or wrong?

I spent 34 days in Lisboa. Cabeceo is difficult, not impossible. Most women I was able to dance with, were not Portuguese. Portuguese women are difficult. Women in Spain are even worse.
 
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Me said:
*WHERE YOU SIT AND CROWD CIRCULATION*

I think another reason some women are not asked to dance is because they sit timidly in a corner. As the milonga wears on, their sweet reluctance mutates into silent brooding.

So what you have here is a woman who positioned herself in a not-so-accessible way, who then as a result of not being 'picked up' begins sulking, which drops to EL ZIPPO any chances of being asked to dance.

I know one woman who does this ALL the time. She seems to expect a man to cross the room, muscle his way through dancers, move chairs out of the way and then inch his way around a table to ask her hand for a dance. Then she becomes sour and sullen and very unpleasant to be around for the rest of the evening because nobody has asked her to dance. It's very annoying.

I understand a woman being shy in that she is not used to asking a stranger for a dance. What I have no tollerance for is a woman who hides in a corner and refuses to circulate, then whines about being ignored. At least CIRCULATE, or sit close to the floor where somebody can end a dance and then see you.
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That's me! If a man wants to dance with me, will have to fight
And I don't whine, I like it like that!
 
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It's like that Hayley Mills movie Summer Magic (1963)

You must walk feminine
Talk feminine
Smile and beguile feminine
Utilize your femininity
That's what every girl should know, if she wants to catch a beau

Dance feminine
Glance feminine
Act shy and sigh feminine
Compliment his masculinity
That's what every girl should know, if she wants to catch a beau

Let him do the talking
Med adore good listeners
Laugh, but not too loudly (Haha)
If he should choose to tell a joke
Be radiant, but delicate
Memorize the rules of etiquette
Be demure, sweet and pure
Hide the real you

You must look feminine
Dress feminine
You're at your best feminine
Emphasize your femininity
That's what every girl should know
Femininity, femininity
That's the way to catch a beau
 
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